Thoughts On This Statement.....

ThaSaltCracka · #1 02-02-2007, 01:40 AM

"I would rather you hate me for who I am, than like me for who I am not"

A friend of mine told me that this was his mentality with people. Before I give my thoughts on his view, I would like to see what you guys think about this.

iron81 · #2 02-02-2007, 01:52 AM

I gotta tell ya, having people hate you sucks hard. I mean if people like you, they're going to treat you right no matter what the reason is. I think I could live with a little dishonesty there.

ThaSaltCracka · #3 02-02-2007, 01:55 AM

FWIW, I don't think the statement is neccesarily black or white. There is some gray area involved. Clearly you don't want people to just hate you, nor would you want to act in a way that would just piss most people off because you don't care what people would think of you. Don't think of it that way.

[censored] · #4 02-02-2007, 01:56 AM

this one of those things that I think people like to agree with but in practice most people would really prefer to be liked even if requires not being fully understood

It of course changes as the types of relationships become closer and more intimate

Big Poppa Smurf · #5 02-02-2007, 01:58 AM

The trick here is just to be someone people don't hate for who they are. Generally, this would basically just mean not being a huge douchebag. This way you aren't selling out by putting on an act so people will like you, but you won't be a douchebag so people won't hate you, and you get the side benefit of being a better person.

ThaSaltCracka · #6 02-02-2007, 02:02 AM

Question, do you think that statement is applicable in certain environments? Specifically at work.

Potvaliant · #7 02-02-2007, 02:17 AM

[ QUOTE ]
The trick here is just to be someone people don't hate for who they are. Generally, this would basically just mean not being a huge douchebag. This way you aren't selling out by putting on an act so people will like you, but you won't be a douchebag so people won't hate you, and you get the side benefit of being a better person.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's still a matter of priorities though - what if, for example, someone decides that honesty is the most important virtue?

I'm not talking about someone who says, "You're a fat, ugly moron" unprovoked. But extremely honest people are going to be lacking in tact and diplomacy, and disliked because of it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not necessarily our flaws that make people dislike us.

For the record, I agree with the quote in OP; and I don't have alot of friends, but the ones I have are very good and loyal friends.

Golden_Rhino · #8 02-02-2007, 02:18 AM

As long as who he is doesn't involve him being outwardly racist, or mean spirited, I could get behind a statement like that. The problem is that it sounds like something a douche would say to justify whatever douche like thing he just said. It's the intellectual version of "well, I was just being honest".

Six_of_One · #9 02-02-2007, 02:18 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Question, do you think that statement is applicable in certain environments? Specifically at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

At work, this statement is only applicable if you don't care about whether you ever get promoted or not. If you're fine at whatever level you're at, and getting fired wouldn't really bother you, then by all means, let people hate you for who you are.

As an aside, I've known people who espoused this philosophy before, and they were all dicks.

[censored] · #10 02-02-2007, 02:21 AM

GR,

exactly there isn't anything wrong with the statement in theory but in practice it and similar reasoning is used to justify [censored] behavior. Often you will get this from girls who want to be bitchy, using the often heard "i'm just being honest" etc. When in reality they were taking an opportunity to be needlessly rude or mean and then wanting to justify it.