BBV Anonymous Confessions

[AE6]

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Whoever wrote that last one, PLEASE get some help. Talk to someone, anyone about what you're feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your girlfriend/family/friends, call an anonymous hotline.

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[ikestoys]

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Today I almost committed suicide.
I'm still broke and in the red in my checking account, and I have no idea what i'm going to do
with my money situation, since given my situation I hardly doubt I can get a loan from an
institution, and I won't ask for this kind of money from friends/family, neither of which probably have a few thousand just sitting around. I'll probably go through with this soon.

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I don't know how seriously to take these things. However, for [censored] sake, you've listed nothing tangible that comes anywhere near needing to kill yourself. You've got friends, family, and a girlfriend. Get over the minor embarassment of admitting you need help and say something to them. Obviously your depression is the major factor here, and once you deal with that everything else will be fine. Half the country is a few thousand dollars in debt, and probably 10-20% should be or are in therapy.

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killing yourself is not a rational decision, don't treat it as such. depression this bad needs to be treated as a disease, not with why can't you just get over it attitude. you'll never understand how this guy feels or his thought processes... well, at least hopefully.

[adanthar]

The good news is that wasn't the last one. The bad news is that they were all out of apple pie

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Two part story...

My parents divorced when I was about 10-11. My dad got married a year or two afterwards, but my parents remained on good terms. The divorce was done without any legal custody battle and with no hassles. My parents just figured it was for the best. One day, when I'm like 13, my dad comes over to our apartment. He's dropping by to give me a stick of RAM or something. Anyway, he stays for coffee, all three of us talk and stuff. I have no idea how this next part happened, but it did. My dad and mom are both in the bathroom (which is tiny, we lived in a 2 1/2). I'm in the room that the bathroom door is. I'm playing guitar at the computer, and I hear something. Goes like, 'uh, uh, uh.' They're being really quiet, but I still can't [censored] believe it. I hear someone humping up against the bathroom door. Yeah, my parents are having sex in the bathroom next to me. I leave the house and go outside, I'm in disbelief.

Part two.

I don't speak to either of my parents about the incident, I don't even mention why I went out, neither does my mother (I come home at like 11pm, fairly early, even for a 13 year old). About a week later, my mom is asleep in the other room, and I'm horny as hell. But the internet is out. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do (back then, wanking wasn't good enough for me). So I find that the spot between the two couch pillows is quite tight and comfortable. I start pumping my couch, and just as I'm about to blow my load when I hear my mom about to open the door. I pull a cover over myself but she catches sight of my buttcheecks and looks at me weird.

So I say, 'What? I should've done it in the bathroom, right?'

She looks at me, grabs her coat, and comes back at 11pm. We've never spoken about it since.

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[adanthar]

My stepdad, the acupuncturist, treats people for this. You should probably try that. PS: haaaaaawwwww haaaaaaaawww

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This is really long. I tried to keep it short but it all just came pouring out. I've never told this to anyone. Not even girlfriends, or psychiatrists.

Cliffs Notes:
I wet the bed 1-2 times a week. It used to be worse. I hate myself because of it. I've tried everything. I was ostracized in high school. I've peed all over girls. Surprisingly, once people find out about it they're usually very understanding and nice to me.

I was an incredibly difficult toddler to potty train. I understood the basic principles involved, and really wanted the independence that came with toilet use, but the problem was that I could never seem to identify the feeling that meant that I needed to go, and would constantly be taken by surprise. With a lot of practice, I learned to identify these feelings, and by Kindergarten, I was out of daytime diapers. During the day, I would occasionally (1/week or se) feel an "unusual warmth" down there, but I could usually stop myself before completely voiding and run to the nearest toilet. If I really let loose (1/month or so), my parents kept a change of pants/undies at the nurses office for me. I also had problems with the bowel side of things, and usually couldn't tell until a teacher/parent/babysitter alerted me to the fact that I smelled like a waste treatment plant. As embarrassing as this could be at times, I was just happy to be under enough control to get by at a "normal" school (the district wanted me placed in a "special" program, even though I was reading at a 4th grade level and doing basic algebra).

Nighttime, however, was another story altogether. I wet the bed every single night, even though my parents (one of whom is an MD) tried everything they could think of. I wasn't allowed any caffeine, ever. I couldn't drink anything after dinner. I had to pee right before I went to bed. When none of that worked they tried a few other things. They set an alarm to wake me up in the middle of the night. When I started sleeping through that, they would set an alarm for themselves and one of them would wake me up and take me to the bathroom. They tried bedwetting alarms, most of which would either fall off during the night or not be loud enough to wake me (I was an incredibly deep sleeper). Mostly my parents & doctors took a "wait & see" attitude. After all, it wasn't that unusual for a 6-year-old to wet the bed regularly (although the daytime incidents were a concern).

Well, it didn't really get better, and as I got older it started to affect my social life more and more. My family was very close with another in town, and that was the only house I ever "slept over" at, mostly due to my own embarrassment. I never went on overnight field trips, to camp, etc. The good news was that I had the daytime urination under control by age 8 or 9 (although a little brown would still leak out here and there) and by age 12 I was only bedwetting on 70-80% of nights. The general consensus was still "wait and see". I guess frequent bedwetting is not all that uncommon for those as old as 15, although when it's happening to you it feels like you're the only one in the world.

When I was 12, I became a day student at a boarding school, and had a mandatory 3-day, 2-night orientation. These were the most harrowing nights of my life. I was already an outcast because I was a complete social retard, and knew that my time at this school would be a living hell if they knew I wet the bed. I brought some meds with me to take for it but I had very little confidence in them b/c they'd never seemed to make a difference. Well, I got through the first night because I was so nervous I never really dropped into sleep, but on the 2nd night I was so tired I conked out and, sure enough, let loose some stinky pee. Thankfully my 2 roommates took a very "big brother" approach, and actually treated me a lot nicer after that night (although I'm pretty sure word got around somehow).

When I was around 15, the frequency was down to around 20-30%, and this gave me a false sense of confidence, which, combined with my desire to "fit in" by participating in overnight activities, led to a few embarrassing incidents:

-I completely soaked a tent I was sharing with 2 other guys during our yearly "campout weekend".
-I fell asleep in a school van during a long drive and soaked the seat I was in. Pretty sure the girl I was sitting next to (who was a smoking hot senior) noticed, although she didn't say anything, and later on took a very "motherly" sort of interest in me, always asking if I was doing OK, cleaning my nails for me, etc.
-The worst one by far also happened to be on the same night I first got play from a girl. I was 16 and was staying over at school for something, and I finally told this girl that I liked her (I'd had a huge crush on since 8th grade). We had one of those "oh my God I've had the biggest crush on you too" moments, and we made out for 2 or 3 hours after dinner, on the bleachers at the football field, looking out at the sunset. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. At the curfew bell, she told me to wait up for her. After the security check, she snuck into my room with a pint-sized water bottle full of vodka (rule #1 of nocturnal enuresis: DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL AFTER 5 PM). We made out for an hour or so while listening to Underworld, and I got my fingers wet, although that was as far as it went. We fell asleep in my bed, and I couldn't believe how perfect life was. I woke up before dawn, drenched in cold, clammy piss, and she was gone. I never even so much as made eye contact with her again.
-I completely drenched a mattress in a monastery in Europe (not going to say what country b/c 2p2ers know I've been there). Again, it was drink-induced. Thankfully, we were leaving early the next morning, so I avoided the impending exorcism.

Now I'm in college, and I managed to get my own dorm room by telling the Dorm Parent why I needed it. I still wet the bed 1 or 2 times a week, and after going through so much humiliation as a high-schooler I've decided to keep it a total secret. I got a plastic mattress cover, and I set my alarm super early so that if I wet the bed I can put my sheets in the washer before anyone is awake to notice. So far, it's working. I'm such a social disaster that I've only had a girl over once, and convinced her to leave afterwards b/c I'm "just weird about sleeping in the same bed with people". She never came back, btw. My problem has gradually gotten better every year, and I just hope that I'll be at a somewhat normal bedwetting level by the time I graduate. If not, I'll probably kill myself.

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[SkeetyMcdoogle]

jesus christ man sleep in a diaper or something

[ahnuld]

depends ftw, ldo

[Stumpy]

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killing yourself is not a rational decision, don't treat it as such.

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I realize it's not rational, but no one can help him until he tells someone. It sounds like he's got enough people close to him that all he needs to do is work the courage up once to tell one of them, and everything will get much easier.

Maybe you disagree, but I'm not above motivating him to seek help by kicking him in the ass or using a little guilt. He goes into detail about planning this out to make sure his dogs and girlfriend aren't harmed, but he should think about how much pain he's going to dump on his family and girlfriend if he does this. That alone should be enough reason to seek help.

If people on this forum won't even make fun of you, think how understanding your family will be.

[SINKIST]

Dupe account FTW:

Last year, I fell in love with a girl who basically led me on for several months before publicly trashing and dumping me. Not knowing how to cope with it, I went to a frat party to drink away my sorrows, and met this random girl. SHe was a butterface, but I didn't really even care, I took her upstairs to a random guy's room at the house and got a hummer. Didn't give it another thought.

Then the next night I get a call from a random number, find out this girl stayed around and asked everyone she could find who I was (I never told her my name), and got my phone number randomly. As if this wasn't scary enough, she told me on the phone that "she was obsessed with me, couldn't stop thinking about me." Now, any normal person would immediately get away, but as I'm [censored] up, I decided to hit it again.

I get to her dorm room and she starts grabbing at my crotch IN FRONT OF HER ROOMMATES, so I naturally offer to take her to my apartment. It's too far though, so I just take her downstairs to one of the secluded music practice rooms and [censored] her on a piano bench. Anyone could've walked in on us, don't know why I did this.

So I don't call her for a week and don't answer her repeated calls. The next weekend I decide I want some more nookie, and since she's still calling, I answer and say I had a busy week and sorry for not getting back to her. I invite her over to my apartment, get her naked on my bed, and was going to go down on her but then I got a whiff and was completely revolted by the stench. Smelled like salty sewage. Should've been a cue, but the lights were off and I just wanted to SIIHP. So I started to, but then I felt some extra wetness getting onto my balls, more than should have been there from my experience. So I stop what I'm doing, and look down, and there's this dark liquid everywhere, all over the sheets, all over me, everything. I turn on the lights and she's bleeding like hell, this isn't something I ripped, it's her goddamn period. I'm not squeemish, I've [censored] girls in their period before, but I have never seen this much blood get all over the bed and me before. Absolutely disgusting. I get red in the face and tell her to GTFO of my room, she smiles and says "you wouldn't do that to me, we're in love, I love you." I kicked her out of my apartment without giving her time to get her clothes all the way back on, I'm sure she had to walk all the way back to her dormroom in bloody panties (it's only a mile walk so not too bad). I never talked to her again. Had to throw out my sheets, stained so bad by the blood that it wouldn't come out.

[g-p]

[censored] i forgot how cool this thread was

[feesjah]

just spent a half day at work reading all this.


btw www.grouphug.us is more or less the same principle ?

anyway, very good read [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]