Cover Letter / Resume Hilarity

[Los Feliz Slim]

So I'm hiring again and I posted my listing on Craigslist. I get some great resumes when I do this, but I get some really, really, stupid people, too. Here are some examples of stuff I've gotten in the last couple of days. WTF is the matter with people?

[ QUOTE ]
Education

1944-1978 -High School Diploma High School , Poland

1978-1980 -Teachers Diploma Teachers College, Poland

1991-1994 -Hairdressing Diploma Midland Avenue College, Ontario, Canada

1992-1993 -Colorist Diploma Coloring School “Color Club For Hair”, Toronto, Ont. Canada

2001-2002 -Goldwell Educator Certificate Goldwell College, Toronto, Ont. Canada

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Hello nice to meet you, my name is XXXXXXXXX. I saw your posting and I completely fell in love with this opportunity. It just feels right, the whole being around people with good sence of humor, anmd being able to have my same personality that I do aswell as my job. Im gonna be honest, im currently working at this substance abuse rehab center, but the ambience isnt exactly for my sort of personality, I find myself depressed, specially when I see all these people I can't help. I hope this doesnt lessen my opportunities for this opening. Thank you so much for your time and consideration taken towards my resume. Please be sure to contact me as soon as possible to interview. Hope to hear from you soon! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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My name is XXXXXXXXXX. I would love to be considered for the assistant position!! I have the skills to pay the bills and most say i am funny!!! I think? Most of my training is in restaurant management but I absorb knowledge like a sponge. Anywho, I just really don't wanna go back to the restaurant game. I do have some experience in TV. I had a great lil gig on STUDIO 60 last year doing cue cards. There was alot of pressure to deal with on that set and I lasted for 22 episodes. XXXXXXXX is the best number to reach me. Thanks again!

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[mosdef]

You really must interview these people and provide trip reports on each.

[Case Closed]

34 Years in high school is pretty standard.

[DonkeyKongSr]

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1992-1993 -Colorist Diploma Coloring School “Color Club For Hair”, Toronto, Ont. Canada

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I think I'm going to go there for graduate school.

[RoundGuy]

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34 Years in high school is pretty standard for Polish people.

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[img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[MediaPA]

Please post the job ad. I'm looking for a new job. I'm a failed poker player but have excellent math skills and can be trusted with large sums of money.

[solids]

^^^^
OH SNAP!!!

[TiK]

Wow, what disasters. "Anywho"?! "sence of humor", "wanna", "anmd", "great lil gig". Do people really think that this is acceptable language for their cover letters/resumés? Do they not spell check? Wtf? I'd be embarrassed to send this to a prospective employer.

[neuroman]

Those are awesome.

[J.A.Sucker]

[ QUOTE ]
Education

1944-1978 -High School Diploma High School , Poland

1978-1980 -Teachers Diploma Teachers College, Poland

1991-1994 -Hairdressing Diploma Midland Avenue College, Ontario, Canada

1992-1993 -Colorist Diploma Coloring School “Color Club For Hair”, Toronto, Ont. Canada

2001-2002 -Goldwell Educator Certificate Goldwell College, Toronto, Ont. Canada


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Other than the fact that this likely a 50 year old polish woman who made a typo, she'd probably be a good interview, especially when you consider the typical wasteoids that live in that hellhole you call LA. I assume this is a 10 dollar/hour gig - what the hell do you expect, a three-page CV? I think she'll be 10-key by touch able, which is probably useful for you, provided her English is good.