An interesting thing I did for discussion. Was I right or wrong?

[hitch1978]

Short backstory-

I was ~26, my li'l bro was ~8. My brother was kicked in the head by a horse when he was 5, he has severe learning disability's and although looks normal, and appears to act normal for 5 min's at a time, cannot dress/cross the road/add 3+7 etc even now at the age of 12. His name is Max, Mine is Carl. My entire family is in no way religious, although my mother did send me to an equivelant of Sunday school, but it was just so I could play with other kids. I will never send my kids to anything like this.

My mother asked me to become Max's Godfather at his Christening. I said no.

My reason was very simply. i) I didn't want to be a hypocrite and say a load of stuff I didn't believe, and ii) I also thought it would be disrespectful, to people that genuinely believed, to do so.

My mother wanted to feel secure that after her passing I would step up to the plate and take care of my bro. This is something I would do anyway, and I believe she knew that, but she wanted extra assurance. I didn't know this at the time, but I suppose I had an incling.

Was my decision moral?

At the time I felt quite good about my decision, and my reason for making it, but as time passes I wonder more and more if I was incorrect.

[tame_deuces]

I don't think it is a simple as 'right or wrong'. There are reasons for taking both paths of action.

Being a godfather is also a bit different from church to church. In my country it isn't a problem to have a 'non-religious' godfather since the (major) churches generally view a godfather as someone who will/can partake in raising a child if needed, and often it is only a 'honorary' title anyway - not necessarily with religious undertones - as weird as it may sound given the title.

I was the godfather of my niece and didn't need to express an religious sympathies in doing so. It is more a ritual acknowledging my position in her life and a 'grace' extended by my sister as a recognition of our family connection.

If I had been asked by the priest to 'say' religious words I'd have explained my situation and explained I would want to express myself differently and probably focused more on moral values than religious content.

I'd say your decision was very moral, but morally right decisions can also have negative consequence.

[drzen]

Couldn't you just be a "godfather" without all the religious stuff?

[hitch1978]

A big part of the ceremony was saying religios stuff with the priest in front of the congregation.

[madnak]

I would have taken the same action, because I would have lost some self-respect if I had taken part in the rituals. I think it depends on the context.

[Phil153]

Your family's obligation not to force psychotic tales of flying dead people onto you is greater than your obligation to appease those beliefs.

So you're fine, in my opinion. You can still fulfill a godfather role without participating in a bathing ritual.

[furyshade]

[ QUOTE ]
Your family's obligation not to force psychotic tales of flying dead people onto you is greater than your obligation to appease those beliefs.

So you're fine, in my opinion. You can still fulfill a godfather role without participating in a bathing ritual.

[/ QUOTE ]

i am an atheist, but i think there are some times you just suck it up, do the whole thing for your family, and get over it. sometimes you have to let go of your personal beliefs to do something nice for those that care for you; this is why i had a bar mitzvah, i had no interest in doing it and didn't believe in the religious significance, but i did it for my relatives to whom it mattered a great deal.

[Lestat]

I think you were wrong.

[thylacine]

I think you were right.

[bunny]

I think it depends entirely on how much it upset your mother. It seems to me that the only harm you did was contained in that - leaving her feelings out of it, I think it was right to decline the invitation but offer the support and reassurance of looking after your brother if the need arose. If your mum was able to accept that eventually, then there was no long term harm plus you havent had to lie.