November "I FORGOT MY MANTRA" Low Content chit-chat thread

[Orlando Salazar]

Also, I'm applying to McKinsey corp fin. Any advice?

[Runkmud]

Wow Katy, I'm sorry to hear that. I'd try to talk to him to find out what the real issue is. Find out whether it's something you did to him that your unaware of, or if he's just going through some midlife crisis. The way it sounds though, it probably won't be fixed through negotiation. If it can't, and he ever threatens you with physical violence, go straight to your boss. Try to grease the wheels of his departure. There's nothing worse than having a job you hate going too, and by the sounds of it, it might be a him or you type situation. Make it him.

[MrWookie]

Katy,

I think one explanation is that that he's eying the company ladder. He sees you, since you and he work together and since you have 8 years on him, as his major competition. The manner in which he's demeaning you could be his way to try and leapfrog over you and on up the ranks and the pay scale. And if I'm right about this, it looks like he might be winning. You sound like you're bending over to his aggression. Runkmund is right here. Certainly go to your superiors if he threatens you with violence again. This could very well be a "him or you" situation, and while I'm sure you hate to lose a friend over something like this, I think he's already broken that friendship. There's no friendship there to lose at this point. I'd suggest standing up for yourself in front of him, especially if he's acting like this in front of other people, especially if those people are relevant to your career path. Don't just ask him if he's kidding and then roll over. Instead, compose yourself, and in a calm but firm voice, call him out for his rudeness and overstepping his bounds.

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
Katy,

I think one explanation is that that he's eying the company ladder. He sees you, since you and he work together and since you have 8 years on him, as his major competition. The manner in which he's demeaning you could be his way to try and leapfrog over you and on up the ranks and the pay scale. And if I'm right about this, it looks like he might be winning. You sound like you're bending over to his aggression. Runkmund is right here. Certainly go to your superiors if he threatens you with violence again. This could very well be a "him or you" situation, and while I'm sure you hate to lose a friend over something like this, I think he's already broken that friendship. There's no friendship there to lose at this point. I'd suggest standing up for yourself in front of him, especially if he's acting like this in front of other people, especially if those people are relevant to your career path. Don't just ask him if he's kidding and then roll over. Instead, compose yourself, and in a calm but firm voice, call him out for his rudeness and overstepping his bounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wookie is right on. Do not confuse your job with your friendship. The guy is messing with your livlihood by doing this. Don't let it continue.

Because when it comes down to him or you, guess which one he's going to choose? Make sure you do the same.

also, when you confront him about this, you might want to do it in the presence of your HR person or your boss. Trying to keep it between the two of you will only lead to "he said, she said" problems later. Nip this in the bud now.

[katyseagull]

thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. Dom and Wookie, what do you think of Orlando's suggestion that I email him with a friendly tone? I'm not sure I will but I wanted to know your thoughts on this idea. Also, today we are speaking to each other just about business stuff. We have remained polite (or "civil" [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]) I have a feeling that this is how it will be from now on which is fine with me. Unfortunately we both depend on each other to get our work done.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]


Wookie is right on. Do not confuse your job with your friendship. The guy is messing with your livlihood by doing this. Don't let it continue.




[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I agree, I came to the same conclusion on Friday Dom. I just don't understand how a friend can undermine me in such an unprofessional way. It felt like he was messing with me and affecting my ability to work. I was so pissed [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].

This is something that started as joking around (when he first came to our company he was always talking to me) and over the past year has sort of morphed into something else altogether. Not sure what you call it. Like my friend said today, he is acting like he's my boss but he isn't anywhere close to being my boss or anyone else's for that matter. My other friend (and coworker) thinks it's really bizarre as he only does this with me. She can't figure it out either. She suggested I talk to our boss.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Katy,

I think one explanation is that that he's eying the company ladder. He sees you, since you and he work together and since you have 8 years on him, as his major competition. The manner in which he's demeaning you could be his way to try and leapfrog over you and on up the ranks and the pay scale. And if I'm right about this, it looks like he might be winning. You sound like you're bending over to his aggression. Runkmund is right here. Certainly go to your superiors if he threatens you with violence again. This could very well be a "him or you" situation, and while I'm sure you hate to lose a friend over something like this, I think he's already broken that friendship. There's no friendship there to lose at this point. I'd suggest standing up for yourself in front of him, especially if he's acting like this in front of other people, especially if those people are relevant to your career path. Don't just ask him if he's kidding and then roll over. Instead, compose yourself, and in a calm but firm voice, call him out for his rudeness and overstepping his bounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly. There is no friendship here. He should fear talking to you that way.

The only thing I would do differently from Mr. Wookie's suggestion is to create the paper trail NOW. You don't always get second chances. If there is a threat he made to you, especially in public, the time to capitalize on it is while it still means something and isn't lost in the haze of the past and given deniability thereby.

ABCD. Always Be Creating Documentation.

It's what lawsuits live by. It is what careers are destroyed by. It is what chances for promotion are bolstered by.

If people know you are dealing with them on a professional level and keeping everything out in the open air, it's harder for nasty plans to ferment up a stink in silence. As a result, people won't even consider trying stuff on you anymore when they know they will be held accountable for it and it will go in their personnel record and jeopardize their careers. It's only the person who won't speak up that keeps getting shouted down.

[daveT]

How often should we add a new singer/songwriter to the singer/songwriter thread? I already love it. I hope to see a bunch of stuff I am not familiar with.

[Kimbell175113]

[ QUOTE ]
How often should we add a new singer/songwriter to the singer/songwriter thread?

[/ QUOTE ]
I have no idea, but let's just go crazy for the first day, at least.

[daveT]

Do you mean, "lets just NOT go crazy for the first day, at least?"