|
|
#1
06-26-2007, 11:49 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Key West TR, sort of NSFW
(Cliff Notes at bottom)
*some NSFW stripper content So I just went to Key West with a couple friends and their friends, and now I'm flying home, so I figured I'd write up a TR. The whole point of the trip was to go scuba diving, which none of us had ever done. we arrived Friday afternoon and left Monday AM, yet somehow managed to fit in a large amount of awesomeness and debauchery. Friday afternoon we chill by the pool and open a tab at the tiki bar (stayed at the Courtyard with it's own little beach, was a very nice hotel) and learn from the bartender that there is no last call in Key West (I am a HUGE fan of this concept) later on we jump a shuttle bus to Duval street (the Bourbon street of the keys) we grab dinner and drinks (and catch some awesome blues/jazz) at B.O.'s Fish Stand, the food was great/cheap and I'd definitely suggest the place. after that we wander over to a couple unremarkable bars, and finally arrive at a place called Irish Kevin's. This place was awesome, it had a way younger crowd than the other places, and their slogan is "I came, I drank, I don't remember" which seemed appropriate. Some guy was doing some great cover music (did an awesome job with "crazy game of poker"), then to top it off some girl gave us a couple shots of Patron because "she ordered too many" From here we stumbled into a delightful little place called Teasers. Now let me preface by saying I am not very accustomed to the stripclub scene. $5 to get in, they had a small stage with 2 girls going at a time, and usually another 2 wandering around. The first thing I noticed and liked was that they weren't very pushy (well, technically the first thing I noticed was the nude brunette that went walking past me). If you were at the seats right at the stage then they would come over and make you feel obligated to slip them a 1, but you could get away with sitting there getting a great view and only giving like $1 a song (but I felt very enticed to give more often than this, as did most of my fellow patrons) The second thing I noticed was that there were actually several good looking girls there as customers, but most seemed to be with other guys (this was unfortunate, because at this point I felt that a girl going to a strip club to be hotter than a stripper) my friends had all been to several clubs in the past and wasted no time in grabbing chairs at the rail and buying eachother dances (they had a room in the back for the dances with several couches. $20 got you a song, with some of the girls letting you get a free second or third song. The girls were pretty hot for the most part, a good mix of real Vs fake, and only 1 or 2 girls out of ~15 who I would not call hot. after a bit of time at the club we headed back to the hotel to call it a night. so the next day we get scuba training in a pool in the morning, then grab lunch, and jump on the boat to head out to the reef. I was a little concerned that after 45 minutes of training I was gonna be diving to 30 feet, but figured wtf, worst case I can still make it to the surface before dying. The best description I can think of is to picture the coolest aquarium you've seen, and then imagine swimming through it. It was awesome, and I am now going to force all my friends to go diving when we're down in Cozumel next month). I would definitely suggest everyone give this a try if you get the chance. got to see a bunch of random colorful fish, some terapin as big as I am, some lobster, crabs, and a big ass coral reef (3rd biggest in the world said the instructor). That night we head out, grab some cuban food at El Sibonay (pretty good, but long wait), and then back out to the bars. We started at a place called The Bull (downstairs from the famous "clothing optional" bar, which was full of older (significantly older...) people, and a woman singer who I mistook for karaoke on the way in... we bailed quick. Next was some place (forgot the name, amongst other things from the night) a guy named Matt Avery was singing. Butchering some songs from the 70's and 80's, and doing some good medleys ( I guess he's somewhat famous). One of the guys yaks in the bathroom, and calls a cab, but we're still 4 strong. We stumble out of the place after a few beers and like a sign from above we realize this bar was downstairs from Teasers (the sign was actually above us...) We decide to go to Kevin's first, and drink some more, and hit on a bachelorette party. Then it's back to Teasers, same deal as the night before, but after a few minutes one of the dancers comes up from behind and starts grabbing me in my special place, apprently my friends bought me a dance, (I had politely refused the night before, I was still sober and under the impression that strippers were people). So she takes me in the back, and starts talking while we wait for the next song, so I got to sit there chatting with this really hot (I was very pleased with my benefactor's choice) nude girl. she starts out talking about where she's from, and after some really messed up coincidences I find out I was in her hometown in Indiana at the same company her dad works at only 3 days earlier (I travel a bit for work, but this was my 1st time in Indiana) I thought this was really [censored] up, but was laughed at laster when i mentioned it to my buddies. I stand by my opinion that it was a really messed up coincidence and that it was fate telling me to bang that stripper. Then the song starts and I get my first ever lapdance. only rule is that I can't touch her in the baby-maker. Having been my only lapdance experience, I feel I can still say with confidence that it will rank up there as one of the best (it also turns out they had bought me 3 songs, so she was getting pretty creative by the end). She kept licking my ears and finding ways to stick her goodies in my face, which made it extremely difficult to follow the rules, which I commented on (I think deep down I was hoping she would offer to let me break the rules for an additional fee, but she just laughed and got closer). She seemed to be guiding my hands around her quite a bit, and this was great, though I think I suck at getting lap dances, but it's a skill I am confident I will improve upon in the future. so a bit after my dance ends I realize how great it was and start hunting for the hottest dancer in the place. Meanwhile 2 of the guys in my group get suckered into the champagne room (by different girls obviously) (they claim to not remember how much it cost, but this just means it was an embarrassingly large amount) for 30 minutes alone upstairs. They claim it was great, but that there was in fact no sex in the champagne room, and the champagne was crappy. unfortunately the place closes (a little after 4AM) before I can decide which dancer is the hottest, so instead of a parting dance I only get a 30 second grind from the last girl as she leaves (very good value for 1$) we then hop a cab, and almost get kicked out because we were all so drunk and disorderly (in a cheerful non-destructive way), but the cabbie brings us back and I think we tipped him over 100% to make up for it . we then go to our rooms and pass out. The next day was spent chilling on the beach or at the pool. (funniest quote from the trip was "stay in school" which I said to a young (13ish?) girl after her and her parents overheard us talking (in great detail) about the strip club. The dad laughed) we went out that night and caught some cover band at Sloppy Joe's (very good atmosphere, and yet another bachelorette party) We ended up playing quarters at our table (best game of my life, I rocked them all). The band finishes and we head in a little after midnight to leave at 6AM for the drive back North to catch our planes. *CLIFF NOTES - Scuba diving was awesome - The bars in Key West are great - The strip clubs in Key west are great - I really need to go to more strip clubs - I drink a lot - I love Key West and will definitely go back - everyone is shocked that I didn't go to Jimmy Buffet's place... wtf? where is it? I never saw it. alright, that's about it, hope it wasn't a waste of time to read. 
|
|
#4
06-27-2007, 12:53 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
[ QUOTE ]
she starts out talking about where she's from, and after some really messed up coincidences I find out I was in her hometown in Indiana at the same company her dad works at only 3 days earlier [/ QUOTE ] You have a lot to learn about strippers.
|
|
#5
06-27-2007, 12:53 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] she starts out talking about where she's from, and after some really messed up coincidences I find out I was in her hometown in Indiana at the same company her dad works at only 3 days earlier [/ QUOTE ] You have a lot to learn about strippers. [/ QUOTE ] lol nh
|
|
#6
06-27-2007, 01:16 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] she starts out talking about where she's from, and after some really messed up coincidences I find out I was in her hometown in Indiana at the same company her dad works at only 3 days earlier [/ QUOTE ] You have a lot to learn about strippers. [/ QUOTE ] lol nh [/ QUOTE ] What noone does small talk with strippers? What is the world coming too? Are u implying they lie for better tips? fyc
|
|
#7
06-27-2007, 01:18 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
[ QUOTE ]
What noone does small talk with strippers? What is the world coming too? Are u implying they lie for better tips? fyc [/ QUOTE ] By some series of strange coincidences, every stripper I've ever spoken with was visiting someplace I grew up in, or knew some friend of a friend of a friend, or loved the same band as me, or had the same pet as me, etc... lol
|
|
#9
06-27-2007, 01:20 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
great writeup, and somehow you came in under the 3,000 word bar i set somewhat recently...
unfortunately you lose 100 points for no pics of anything...not even the scenery? for shame...
|
|
#10
06-27-2007, 01:23 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Key West TR, sort of NSFW
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] What noone does small talk with strippers? What is the world coming too? Are u implying they lie for better tips? fyc [/ QUOTE ] By some series of strange coincidences, every stripper I've ever spoken with was visiting someplace I grew up in, or knew some friend of a friend of a friend, or loved the same band as me, or had the same pet as me, etc... lol [/ QUOTE ] Further, approximately 98% of all strippers are working their way through 'college', cosmetology and pharmacy being their two most popular choices.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
