Nerdking's first TR (Last Frontier Casino La Center WA)

[nerdking]

Prologue

I haven't played live cash poker for well over a year now but I've been feeling the bug biting me for the last few weeks. Monday was my birthday and the relatives were nice enough to send me about 180 dollars combined between all of them. My bills are paid off so far this month, so I decided to take the plunge and give in to the urge to get back in the ring for some live limited hold them from the state of Texas.

Northwestern Oregon and southwestern Washington are pretty good for card rooms. 2 hours to the west of me is Lincoln City and Chinook Winds, an Indian casino. An hour to an hour south of me is Spirit Mountain, another tribal run joint. 30 min north of me lies La Center, WA den of sin and home of Chips, Palace, and Last Frontier Casino. After some deliberation with the help of Bravos, I decided to take the short ride up to La Center to play because A.) it was close, B.) it had a decent amount of regulars, and C.) Last Frontier spread a decent amount of games.

So I get a 4 hour nap in and head out around 10:30 fortified with $200 and a couple of cans of Red Bull. I listen to some Coast to Coast AM, I listen to some Mike Malloy, I try to remember not to act like a complete dork and a little while later I'm pulling into Last Frontier's parking lot. In the daylight, from the outside, Last Frontier looks like an Outback Steakhouse



Can I get a bloomin' onion with my rack and a half of white?

So I'm in the door and on the board. Tonight they've got two tables of 3/6 half-kill, two tables of 4/8 half-kill, one 10/20, and one 15/30 game going. I'm poor, lowest stakes in the room, pls. While I wait I make a lap around the room to check out the action. 9 player tables, nice leather chairs. Tastefully dressed dealers all in black. None of the players are particularly interesting. By the time I'm back by the floorman's desk it's showtime.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT THIS EVENING WE HAVE:

Seat 1-the thoroughly dislikeable and utterly spiteful political columnist and closeted transexual, Anne Coulter.



Anne was an off-duty dealer blowing her tip money on 3/6 holdem. She was playing approximately 75/3/0.1 poker. She'd usually limp the pot without bothering to look at her cards.

Seat 2-Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell.



Who knew the right honorable senator liked poker so much or was vacationing in Washington? Slap some glasses on this picture and this was your man. Dude was fresh off the reservation and couldn't stop talking with Anne about the next pow-wow. Seriously. Apparently Anne was 1/15 Chippewa or some such thing even though she was as blonde as a Swede. Ben was significantly tighter than Anne at approximatley 30/2/0.1.

Seat 3- Michael "the Grinder" Mizrachi



Subtract the "I just got hit in the head with a brick" expression and add a plaid baseball cap and Mike was your man. Mike was playing uber-nitty 25/5/1 poker. He'd coldcall thin but bet it when he had it. Apparently Michael played on Absolute in some tournaments here and there. Good times. Mike had been playing for the better part of 12 hours and left at the end of the night up a rack. NH sir.

Seat 4-Nerdking. Hi.



Seat 5-Petey the Pot Smoking Asian

so called because around the 2 hour mark Pete disappeared for ten minutes and when he came back, inadvertantly exhaled the most pungent, fruity, redolent of serious chronic weed breath in the history of mankind. Petey played something like 30/2/0.5 with a WTSD of 50 or so. There wasn't a crappy hand this idiot wouldn't call down with. We played against one another all night and Petey ended up stuck a good two to three racks. Jesus Christ was this guy in the red.

Seat 6-Jimmy Buffett



add a ponytail and this was your man. Jimmy was your average loose passive card chaser. He'd call down with any piece of the board. I saw him coldcall 3 bets at one point which as we all know puts him in a special part of the retarded fish spectrum.

Seat 7-A3 or Ancient-@ss-Asian. This guy was either Cambodian, Laotian, or Vietnamese and barely spoke a lick of english. The dealer had to set him straight on what the hell to do a few times. He didn't take long to busto, rebuy and busto again. A bet from this guy usually meant top pair or better.

Seat 8-Chester the Chasing Asian Cheetah, or CCAC.



Looking like he just got out of 5th hour physics, Chester looked about 16 and played OK poker, probably 25/10/2 or so. He'd cbet a missed flop and lay it down when he had to. He was a bit more aggressive than he probably needed to be, though. I saw him threebet AJos from the sb. Of course he flopped a J that held up against my AK. Chester's WTSD was stupidly high, he had to have gone to showdown a good 60% of the hands he was in. On the other hand CCAC also caught lucky to win a bunch of hands that got him the kill pot repeatedly. He left with about 3 racks at the end of the night. NH sir.

Seat 9-Comedian and grumpy old man, Mr. George Carlin.



George had been there as long as "the grinder" and was sitting with about 180 or so in chips. He had them all neatly laid out in ten chip stacks, so I could easily count them. I don't know how much he'd bought in for but he was playing some semi-loose passive poker. Probably around the 26/4/1.0 mark. Generally, though, he was pretty unimpressive. He also had a dog at home, a 90lb rottweiler who he liked to feed table scraps to, as he repeatedly asked CCAC if he was willing to give up his half-uneaten ham and cheese omelet. George mentioned the dog 77 times in a 10 min span. Jesus, we get it. You have a dog. It's hungry. Go home and feed it some Purina One or something and quit complaining about how long you've been here...

well, that's the introduction and it's massive. Let's hope I didn't shatter the frame too bad with all those pictures. Actual poker content to follow if anyone's interested as hands were played and lol's were had. Holla...

[bennyhana]

good start, although I expected a pic of DS instead of the robot thingy, now let's have the rest.

[fretelöo]

lol nerd, gogogogogo!!!

[nerdking]

I feel kinda like one of the bands on the second stage at Woodstock '69 while Jimi was up doing a set, what with BBB's trip report jamming in the background but lol, whatever. I played 6 hours and got more pokering detail then he did in 3 days. Lol inferioritycomplex-aments.

So I'm in Seat 4 at the 3/6 half-kill. For some odd reason, this small stakes half-kill seemed to be de rigeur for the night a I couldn't seem to get away from it. I had 30BB or so worth of monies on me, so whatever, I'll play your bloated pot game--or not if the cards don't come to me. As 3/6 tables go, this one was pretty tight with only 4-5 players seeing a flop with me. I don't know if I exuded some sort of predator phermone or something, but the fish were not biting.

Early on in the game I get a flurry of ok hands. 99, 88, TT would peak up at me UTG. Nice. Kinda.

Third hand of the game 9c9s UTG I raise. Petey calls, Jimmy calls, A3 is just getting there and it's still a couple hands before CCAC shows up. George Carlin folds, Anne and Ben both fold, the Grinder calls from his BB. Flop comes T72. Grinder checks, I fire, Jimmy calls, Petey folds. Turn is Q, grinder checks, I think for a minute and fire again, Jimmy calls LDO. River is the blank of nothing. Grinder checks, I've been called down by overs so many times it's not funny, so I check, Jimmy checks.

Showdown: Grinder's red T8os on a very black board is goot ship him the monies, pls.

Couple hands later I have red 6s in sb. Folded to Anne who doesn't even interrupt her discussion of sweat lodges and pow-wows with the right honorable senator while she absentmindedly throws three chips in. She hasn't even looked at her cards. Ugh. Senator folds his button, I complete, Petey checks. Flop is 624 with two hearts. Poker's somewhat easy. I lead, Petey thinks and folds because betting is somehow verboten at this table. Anne decides to look at her cards and calls like the dimwitted card-chucker that she is. Turn Kc, I fire again and Anne folds. Nice pot. Sigh. I throw a chip to Dexter, our dealer just as he's getting up. At that moment a burst of organ music blasts through the air and Sam the Vampire Card Dealer sits down. Wow, was Sam a trip. Long braided ponytail, pale skin, thin, and I swear to god he had lipstick on. He could have turned into a vampire at any time and it wouldn't have surprised me.

At this time CCAC joined us and proceeded to have monies shipped his way several times. His first kill pot of the night I get AcAd and raise it up, LDO. A couple callers but generally no one wanted to play against me with my rock-like image. Flop Qhigh, I bet, CCAC calls and it's just me and him for two more streets. Far be it for CCAC to fold a hand in his life as my AA holds up against his muck and we mouva da gouda in my direction-a.

Time passes and monies are maneuvered. My stack dwindles down from it's dizzying +5BB heights. Anne bustos and leaves and the honorable Senator moves to the 4/8 half-kill game. Seats 1 and 2 are filled by the ubiquitous college fratboys. While not annoyingly loud or obnoxious, their choice of dress was annoying enough. Seat 1 was wearing something akin to Paris Hilton wraparound sunglasses. I see these and say to him "you know it's 1:30 in the morning, right? Which one are you, Jake or Elwood?" Blues. Brothers. Nevermind. Fratboy Blues obviously has no freaking clue what the hell he's doing at poker. He limps and goes busto in about an hour. Well Dressed fratboy is loose and dumb and has a propensity to announce what he has to my side of the table. I try not to visibly wince or break into laughter every time he does this. After telling me that he has "walking sticks" he raises preflop. Not being a complete MORON I know this to be 77 and make a mental note of it for THIS HAND:

88 UTG I raise, 4 callers, Petey, George, FBB (Fratboy Blues) and WDFB (Well Dressed Fratboy) from the sb.

board comes 864. Great, another possible straight. FBB checks, WDFB checks, I bet, Petey folds, FBB folds WDFB calls. Turn Q. I fire again, WDFB calls. River 5. WDFB checks. Well, dood, you didn't raise preflop so I'm going to assume that you don't have "walking sticks" and fire again. WDFB folds, "I don't think you had the 7" Me, "nope, I didn't." Push the pot this way Mr. Dealer.

A few hands later, A3 is replaced by The Doughy Guy and FBB has been replaced by Jpop Sensation and his entourage. I swear to god these kids looked like they just stepped off the streets of Tokyo. They apparently know CCAC as they're all here together. Jpop sensation buys in for 10BB and I inwardly lol. I love these people as they usually get blown away pretty quickly.

JJ UTG (Jesus [censored] christ can I stop getting pocket pairs right where everyone can fold them? Although, frankly I don't know if I want a million limpers to deal with so let's just keep the cold-callers calling and folding their trash filled flop). I raise to 6 and people hem and haw and fold, the Grinder threes it saying "i've got you beat, but marginally" [censored]. I cap it because I've got position and [censored] him, I've got JJ.

Flop comes T55 and Mr. Grinder checks. I bet and he smooth calls. Turn is a blank and he checks again. I check knowing he has QQ or better, the tool. River is a K and Grinder audibly sighs. Check check. I show my JJ and say "nice queens" just as he says "flopped the boat" and flips his TT. Lovely.

Part 3 yet to come as Ye Olde Carde Barne empties out, more characters are added to the mix and I go across the street to the crackhouse of cardrooms, Chips Casino.

[NIX]

So far, so good nerdking. Nice read.

[nerdking]

Part 3

Another hour goes by and our numbers dwindle. WDFB has left to take FBB home. And only one of their seats has been filled by Edward James Olmos. Only Asian. With a fu-manchu mustache and beard. .

He almost bustos a few times but manages to keep his meager stack alive. He was maybe 22/5/2.

I'm getting dick-all for cards even as we shrink to 7 players. Jimmy Buffett has gone back to Margaritaville some time ago leaving me, 20ish, Petey, George, EJO, and the Grinder to play. I get dealt ATos in middle position. 2 folds and I raise. Button, who is nondescript 20-something folds. Petey coldcalls from the SB and Doughy guy calls. Flop is T2x. Check, check, bet my top pair. Petey calls, DG folds. Turn and river are two more random worthless cards and Petey calls both my shots. I show TPTK and he mucks. NH. Spend less money on weed and more money on poker, please.

Time goes by and Petey actually wins a few pots. I fold fold fold my way to rock-solid image-ness--as if that matters at this game. Kill pot. I decide to steal. QcJd in the CO as it's folded around to me. I make it 12 to go and of course Petey can't resist calling because hey, he's got two cards in front of him and you never know WHAT the flop will bring. Board comes 8c9c3s, Petey checks and I cbet. Petey immediately raises me. What in the high-flying f_ck? I'm at the 3 hour mark and I haven't seen this kid do anything even remotely as tricky as this. I call the raise and pray for a T on the turn which I obviously miss as the board pairs 8. Petey leads and I lol-fold. What in the hell was that all about?

Not long after this the local highschool lets out and some kids decide to sit down and play some poker. Honestly, I think one of them should have been carded as he looked all of 12. They were talking about their graduation parties that had just happened yesterday. I know it's summer but don't you have to be home before the streetlights come on?

So here comes 4th period History and his associate Baker, aka chunkhead. Chunkhead had no idea what he was doing at a poker table and was snapped off quickly by the rest of the field. I wasn't able to get any of his monies but I was entertained by a hand between him and Petey. The action was muddier than an Alabama river bottom as Chunkhead had no idea wtf he was doing and Doughy Guy decided to get overinvolved in the hand. Petey goads the kid into betting a 225 flop, 6 turn and Ace river. I know Petey has some combination for the deuce-five boat and Chunkhead just keeps betting with his QQ. At one point I had to step away from the table to completely lose it over by the security station. Poor, stupid chunkhead. He never stood a chance.

So the tables broke down and I left the table down just under 2BB or so. Not bad for a 4.5 hour session of being mostly card dead and raking miniscule pots. I wasn't going to drive home, though without putting in at least a few more hours at the tables. Last Frontier was closing at 4 but Chips Casino across the street was still open. God help me, though. That place was a pit. Hey, what's 2 more hours, though, right? So I take my remaining 180 dollars or so and head across the way to gogogogo for more pokering.

At 4am Chips had a 4/8 half-kill and a 3/6 half-kill going. I had spent some time there about a year and a half ago and was surprised to see some of the same dealers still working. I figured that place would have had a high turnover rate, it was such a hole. The floors have an eye-stinging floral pattern against a black background and the dealers all wear bright semi-tropical colored shirts. The tables don't have felt, but some weird teflon/neoprene/rubbery covering. The place where the two poker tables were set up had this weird uriney smell reticent of either water damage or actual urine, I could never put my finger on it. The exodus from Last Frontier had filled up the 3/6 and 4/8 games and the line was 3 deep for 3/6 at 3:45am. Wow. So I get on the list and wander over to check out the action.

The 3/6 game sees an altercation between Fat Asian Kid and Yassir the Palestinian Table Lawyer as the action gets confused and FAK flips his nut flush against Yassir who proceeds to flip his [censored] over the fact that "OH HE MUCKED HIS HAND HAHAHAHAHAHA SHIP DA FETA THIS WAY" while the dealer just stares at him like the idiot he is and tries to sort out the action so that this can all be resolved sans floor. Blake, one of the lifer dealers starts chanting "Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry" under his breath while he waits to rotate in. Yassir loses his case and proceeds to explain to Petey (who has also come over here to lose more of his money) the finer points of never mucking your winning hand or you forfeit the pot blahblahblah. Lol angleshot-aments.

The floor finally walks over to say that there is a seat open at the 4/8 game so I decide to take it because at this rate it will probably be noon before I get seated at the 3/6 game.

Wow, so this is poker hell. The 4/8 table is filled with sad grinders and smells inexplicably like piss. The cast of characters here really isn't remarkable enough to warrant pictures, so I'm just going to lay them all out now. Seat 1-Asian grinder with headphones. Seat 2-Bad Beat Bill. His JJ+ had been getting cracked all night. Seat 3 was a guy so utterly nondescript that I originally omitted him from this TR. We'll call him The Ghost. Seat 4 was me, seat 5 was some young kid, maybe 20. Ok player. Seat 6 was a Calling Zombie in a University of Oregon pullover. Seat 7 was EJO's scarier and slightly angrier countryman. I don't know if they went to the same stylist or counselor or parole officer or what. Seat 8 was our friend, the Doughy Guy.

A couple hands in I catch AcAd in the bb. CSZ and AA both limp as does DG. AG folds and Bad-beat completes. I've got AA. Raisey daisy. Everyone calls. Sigh. Flop comes 6J4, I lead, CSZ calls, AA folds, DG raises. WTF Doughy Guy raises? I know that you have a weight problem but other than that, dude, what's your deal? I'd seen him bet/raise top pair over at Last Frontier, so, ok whatever. The raise scares everyone off and I obviously call. Turn Q I pray he doesn't have QJ and bet. DG calls. River is a T and I KNOW he doesn't have AK so I bet again. DG calls and flips 66 for the set. I sigh. Lovely.

A couple hands later I get AQos UTG and raise. CSZ and AA both coldcall. Doughy guy has moved to sit between CSZ and AA. He folds. AG has stood up to move to the recently vacated 20ish kid's seat so he's not in the hand. Badbeat folds. Ghost completes. Flop comes a relatively safe looking Q high. Angry Asian had been betting at pots when people checked to him on a steal, so I decided to checkraise CSZ out of the pot and hopefully get this thing headsup. It works and AA calls the blank turn and river and mucks his losing hand. That was it for me in terms of winning hands as I ran into set after set.

Here's how I found out Callingstation Zombie was in fact a callingstation. Shorthanded folded around to me on the button. I raise QTos. CSZ calls 6 from the small blind, BB folds. Board is 82x, check, bet, call, turn J, check, bet call, river blank and we both check. He shows A2os for bottom pair. God help me.

The very next hand I get QQ. Angry Asian folds, Badbeat raises I trey, Callingstation calls 3 cold OTB. Oh. [censored]. me.

Badbeat says "All I need is a six here," as the board rolls out 652. Badbeat says "great, now just give me the other six" I only half-comprehend this GLARINGLY OBVIOUS TABLE TALK and bet. CS raises. WTF CS raises? I call. My brain gets twisted in half as we see another 2. Great. Somehow I find it in me to fire again, CS raises again. I call and kick myself. River is Ac and the following conversation occurs between Badbeat and Callingstation: Badbeat says "you know I think I've got the side pot won" and Callingstation says "if you've got the side pot then I know I have the main pot" I openfold. Badbeat has 66 for 66622 and CSZ has 55 for 55522. Rigged much?

Hurting and down to only 15BB I am in the bb with Qc3c. A new guy has joined our table. Colin. He'd been waiting for the 3/6 to open up, which it never did. It's limped 4 ways between me, him, CSZ, and AA.

flop comes Jc9d5c giving me the flush draw and a backdoor straight draw. Checked around to Colin who bets. I call as do the other two. Turn 7s. Lovely. Checked around to Colin who bets, I call again, as does CSZ. River is Q. Somehow I know I'm beat but I check/call with top pair. Colin flips Jd7h for the turned 2 pair. I immediately stand up with a curt "well, [censored] this" and rack up. Down just about 12BB in 45 min. Great. At least I had some fresh girl-on-girl porn to look forward to at home. Thank you internets.

I look forward to playing with other Oregonians and Washingtonians. We need to organize something soon. I'll make sure to distribute shivs to everyone just in case we run into any collusion.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

[fretelöo]

... recycling a wookie response: Run better, nöob! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[nomadtla]

[ QUOTE ]
I feel kinda like one of the bands on the second stage at Woodstock '69 while Jimi was up doing a set, what with BBB's trip report jamming in the background but lol, whatever. I played 6 hours and got more pokering detail then he did in 3 days. Lol inferioritycomplex-aments.


[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry to disapoint but there was no second stage for the first woodstock. But I will say this trip report is like The Who clossing out day 2. Sure it's not Jimmy playing as the sun comes back up and playing the performance of his life to close out 3+ days of peace love and pokering. But it's still The [censored] Who. Nice report sir.

[MrWookie]

Nice report. I'll be in Seattle around the 4th and up for a trip to the Muck if you're up for a little bit longer drive.

[Guitierez]

Very nice reading.

TR like this make me really wanna play B&M for the first time, and I'll make it over to AC this year, promised.