shakespeare quotes and their rad usage

[apples]

I'd feel really weird quoting this stuff cause ppl who get it will roll their eyes and people who don't will be like wtf. No advantage imo.

[TIEdup14]

"rad"

lol

[donkeylove]

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watching Curb, i discovered that a well placed shakespeare quote is uncounterably, unmistakably, uncommonly funny. Jeff's ex-girlfriend says he has a small penis, Jeff says SHE has a big vagina, and Larry tells her, "He said the problem lay not with his small penis, but with your large vagina... that's just unnecessary. Methinks the lady dost protest too much"

At dinner with my mom and her best friend, the conversation turned from possible bioligical differences between men and women to women's rights (as it always does with her best friend). She said "But what we truly need is for society to recognize that men and women should be treated equal." And I said, "The lady dost protest too much, methinks." It could aprobably been executed a little better but my mom thought it was hilarious and I thought it was pretty good too. Her friend was stunned and couldn't think of anything to say.

I told the story to my uncle when I was visitting him in Philly about a week later and later that day we had cheese steaks. I had a huge one with lots of hot peppers and hot sauce and was a little gassy. I farted and he said, "such foul and fair a day I have not seen" very dramatically and I burst out laughing. It was hilarious and stunned me and there was nothing I could say, even if I wanted to.

I don't know very many shakespeare quotes but I want to memorize any and all that I can that could possibly be used conversationally. If you have a story to share about tactful use of a shakespearianism or just a great quote for me, lets hear it.

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since your post seems a bit long i'll drop this one on you..."brevity is the soul of wit"

[youtalkfunny]

The fault, dear poster, lays not in the title, but in the thread.

I have come to bury this thread, not praise it.

(Oh, I give up. Nobody has been able to make Shakespear funny since Harold Heckuba staged "Hamlet" to the tune of "Carmen" on "Gilligan's Island". "Neither a borrower nor a lender be, do not forget, stay out of debt...")

[buffett]

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I'd like to find something good for times when I wish to enact vengence.

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Lenny: There's nothing like revenge for gettin' back at people.
Carl: Vengeance isn't too bad either.

[Reef]

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"rad"

lol

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exactly what I was thinking

[britspin]

[ QUOTE ]
I told the story to my uncle when I was visitting him in Philly about a week later and later that day we had cheese steaks. I had a huge one with lots of hot peppers and hot sauce and was a little gassy. I farted and he said, "such foul and fair a day I have not seen" very dramatically and I burst out laughing.

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You should have said...

"I can call spirits from the vasty deep"

or if you wanted to really go for it..

"Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth
In strange eruptions; oft the teeming earth
Is with a kind of colic pinch'd and vex'd
By the imprisoning of unruly wind"

both Henry IV, part 1, IIIi