Professional Poker player looking for Assistant

[danjohncochane]

You couldn't have picked a worst place to put an AD given the description.

[Mr Sarcastic]

You forgot to add:

I am incredibly cheap and want to pay you less than minimum wage. Notice I am not offering to pay you for the weeks I do not "need" services, but rather on the services provided.

My "friend" is not mentioned again, after the introduction, but you can bet I will tell you to provide whatever he/she asks as well.

For this and other "nonnegotiable" terms, you get to cater to my apparently overblown ego and probably will get cheated, because I will threaten to turn you in to the IRS if you complain.

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

[ QUOTE ]
My friend and I are looking for a Personal Assistant. Here was the ad on Craigs List:

I have a serious disease..... I hate cooking, cleaning, shopping, scheduling appointments, basically anything that requires any amount of effort and thought id rather have someone do it for me. I am 21 years old i work at home for a living as a professional poker player. I have two useless roommates who go to SDSU who are graduating sometimes this year not really sure when, they aren't really relevant anyways. Id like to hire someone to basically do everything i don't want to do..... i might call you and say "can you go pick me up some food from rubios" or "i want some new clothes go get me some" I travel part of the year at random times to random places for poker so i'm not always around. But i need someone with a flexible schedule who can do these types of tasks for me. I have a few requirements and these are non-negotiable.

Requirements....
1. You must be female
2. You must be competent
3. How do i say you cant be ugly in a nice way?
4. 18-25 years old
5. trustworthy
6. easy going
7. hard working
8. Good Cook
9. Like to shop
10. Will come here in the morning and cook breakfast a few times a week.
11. Must live within 15 minutes from Mission valley.

The pay would be on par with the service...... I am willing to pay anywhere from 200-500 dollars per week for your services based on the level of service, but for the maximum you'd have to be the best assistant ever.......come everyday to cook breakfast, clean vacuuum ect..., run errands, answer your phone for random requests. I will not require your services every single week i will let you know in advance when your services will be needed.

I am very laid back, easy going and understandable, i wont treat you like an employee just a friend who helps me out. I honestly wont need much done you'd probably be working like 8 hours a week max. I will pay you cash so its not taxed. If i tell you to get me food and you want some to its on my tab. We can basically work something out so that both parties feel is fair.

If this is a job that interests you feel free to contact me and we can talk about it in further detail.

[/ QUOTE ]

no offense but you sound creepy as hell and like a dick.

[Hemsta83]

sounds like you need a girlfriend

[jman220]

[ QUOTE ]
My friend and I are looking for a Personal Assistant. Here was the ad on Craigs List:

I have a serious disease..... I hate cooking, cleaning, shopping, scheduling appointments, basically anything that requires any amount of effort and thought id rather have someone do it for me. I am 21 years old i work at home for a living as a professional poker player. I have two useless roommates who go to SDSU who are graduating sometimes this year not really sure when, they aren't really relevant anyways. Id like to hire someone to basically do everything i don't want to do..... i might call you and say "can you go pick me up some food from rubios" or "i want some new clothes go get me some" I travel part of the year at random times to random places for poker so i'm not always around. But i need someone with a flexible schedule who can do these types of tasks for me. I have a few requirements and these are non-negotiable.

Requirements....
1. You must be female
2. You must be competent
3. How do i say you cant be ugly in a nice way?
4. 18-25 years old
5. trustworthy
6. easy going
7. hard working
8. Good Cook
9. Like to shop
10. Will come here in the morning and cook breakfast a few times a week.
11. Must live within 15 minutes from Mission valley.

The pay would be on par with the service...... I am willing to pay anywhere from 200-500 dollars per week for your services based on the level of service, but for the maximum you'd have to be the best assistant ever.......come everyday to cook breakfast, clean vacuuum ect..., run errands, answer your phone for random requests. I will not require your services every single week i will let you know in advance when your services will be needed.

I am very laid back, easy going and understandable, i wont treat you like an employee just a friend who helps me out. I honestly wont need much done you'd probably be working like 8 hours a week max. I will pay you cash so its not taxed. If i tell you to get me food and you want some to its on my tab. We can basically work something out so that both parties feel is fair.

If this is a job that interests you feel free to contact me and we can talk about it in further detail.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.butlersguild.com/

[[Phill]]

You do realise you have zero chance of getting a hot competent woman who is trustworthy and hardworking who will be your personal slave for really crappy pay, right?

[Mr Sarcastic]

Shhhh, what he will get:

'Hi, I am gone from home for long periods of time. However I will give you advance notice so that the local vatos can break in and take all my expensive computer equipment".

[Mr Sarcastic]

... really ? It sounds to me like all he needs is a mirror and a right hand.

[KUCletus]

Funny thread, would read again!

Good luck with the search...

[kid canepa]

I posted the ad because I thought it was funny not because I was looking for personal assistants here