no point in life?

[inyourface]

** I know this isn't poker related but I'm not posting this in BBV4L or OOT - I'm not stupid** (I just need some advice)

Hey all, I was going to make a gimmick account to make this post but as I don't really know anyone on here it wouldnt make much difference.

If anything I just needed to type it out instead of just keeping it to myself and pray someone gives some advice and not a rickroll or a DIAF comment.

I'm only 22 but last week while I was working I suddenly realised I was going to be doing the same boring job for years (I dropped out of University with a 'few' debts two years ago.) and while my friends are all finishing masters degrees and putting mortgages down I am only working to pay rent to my parents and pay off this god forsaken loan which means I make approx £1000 a month at the moment but get less than £300 to myself every month.

I hate my job and hate my life. I can't afford to take a holiday because I am trying to save for real life things like a flat etc. I drive a beat down BMW (see my [censored] it post lol, good times!) and have lost contact with most of my friends who are in Uni or work better jobs than me and have found a new circle of colleagues/friends to hang out with.

I spend most of my time in work then I will go home, have a shower, check on the 3 or 4 forums I am a member of just to catch up on anything that happens. I have something to eat and then literally just wait for the next day to start. It sickens me that I spend more time in work than I get free time to myself.

Work is a facade for me, I have to appear happy etc. for the boss and the customers but I literally can't keep it up. It's also sad for me that I have to come online to tell anyone who will listen and most people who don't care.

I don't expect I will be debt free for over a year at this rate and every thought I have is that every choice I've made in my life has been th wrong one.

I relly don't know what to do to turn things around and I'm hoping someone can suggest something because I don't want to do anything drastic if you get my meaning but the gravity of my situation has been weighing on my for a while now.

It's my birthday on the 10th October and I don't think I've ever felt worse about something I'm supposed to celebrate, what the hell have I got to be happy about?

[pococurante]

Meh, not a great situation there but plenty of people have it worse. At least you're only 22... there are lots of people in your situation in their upper 20s who still haven't got their life on any kind of a track (I was one, luckily I was living cheap and had no debt though).

I'm not sure if it works this way in England but it's worth checking on... in the US, if you're over 22 and you're going back to college you qualify for free government grants to pay for tuition. I don't understand it exactly, but since it counts as "adult education" there's free money there. Finishing college is definitely a good thing to do if you can.

As for the rest... I don't know, hard to give good advice on a situation I don't really understand. Find a different kind of job maybe? Or try just going out somewhere you've never been before, find something to get interested in. Even if it's just some junky TV show you heard was supposed to be good. IMO it's easier to get through all the boring crap if you have something to look forward to and be interested in.

[inyourface]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure if it works this way in England but it's worth checking on... in the US, if you're over 22 and you're going back to college you qualify for free government grants to pay for tuition.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, I need to finish what I started (Teacher Training) in Uni but I cant afford to leave my job with so much debt. I should expand on that, I had dorms to pay for along with food etc. (I actually don't drink or do drugs or anything so cheap there [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) and got an additional Barclays loan because new UK Uni fees went up from £1k to £3k my year in uni.

Basically I am paying the Barclays loan off primarily and the Student loan is like stated only about £50/month.

[ QUOTE ]
Plus it must especially suck to have no money or status in a place like England.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the blunt answer but FU on that point, is that how you get off?

Thanks all for the answer, looks like I have to give a few things up like forums and get out there. I still feel like crap though, but I will take all your advice in hand and thanks for replying

[CrustyFace]

Ok a few things:

1. You are 22, you have plenty of years left and they wont all be like this.

2. A question, how come you have to pay your student loan off so quickly? I don't, its take from me at about £40 a month, out of my salary.

3. It sounds like you have no goals in life. This isn't unusual. Alot of graduates complete their degrees and have no idea what they want to do, some are lucky, but most arn't. The question you really need to ask yourself is "what do you want to do?". Your job obviously doesn't satisfy you, but you might need it for a bit.

4. What did you graduate in by the way?

5. You're first (out of you and your friends) out into the big wide world after uni and it is definately hard. You've taken the first step and once it is time for them to do the same you'll no doubt know what your plan is.

5. I never get worked up about birthdays, you find them less of a bother as you get older, don't sweat it.

6. Find some social clubs to join, learn a sport or something.

Generally speak, get out there and do stuff, [censored] online forums [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. You'll find alot more answers than we could give by going out there and failing miserably in the short term and winning in the long term.

[inyourface]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok a few things...Generally speak, get out there and do stuff, [censored] online forums [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. You'll find alot more answers than we could give by going out there and failing miserably in the short term and winning in the long term.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for this post [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

And I haven't even been rickrolled so far [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[CrustyFace]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Ok a few things...Generally speak, get out there and do stuff, [censored] online forums [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. You'll find alot more answers than we could give by going out there and failing miserably in the short term and winning in the long term.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for this post [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

And I haven't even been rickrolled so far [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

No problem. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Jamougha]

It sounds like your life sucks, and will probably continue to suck until you pay off your debts. Embrace the suckiness and count the days?

There's now pretty extensive literature on how to cultivate positive affect, e.g. The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Try starting with that. Any kind of club/social activity that interests you will probably help.

[OnYourBike]

You're working a crappy job, you have no money and you're up to your eyeballs in debt. Who wouldn't be depressed. Solution is find a way to make more money to eliminate these pressures. I don't know how you can do that. You have to figure it out. But your current situation sucks, so it's understandable you feel like that. Plus it must especially suck to have no money or status in a place like England.

[CrustyFace]

[ QUOTE ]
You're working a crappy job, you have no money and you're up to your eyeballs in debt. Who wouldn't be depressed. Solution is find a way to make more money to eliminate these pressures. I don't know how you can do that. You have to figure it out. But your current situation sucks, so it's understandable you feel like that. Plus it must especially suck to have no money or status in a place like England.

[/ QUOTE ]

Money solves little.

[OnYourBike]

It does if you've got none. What's you get to a certain point money does make no difference to anything.