Conundrum i is in - REALLY LONG no tl;drs please

[Under dog]

OK really long post here. My first post of this type here so try not flame too much !!
Quick version at bottom


Ok the back ground story is this, Im 27 but about 5 years ago (yes 5 bloody years ago) I was mad in love with my girlfriend at the time. I was never in a serious relationship before that because basically b4 her I thought relationships were soul drainers and really couldnt understand why a guy would give up his freedom etc etc

Before I had ever met her I was living in Dublin at the time and my best mate was crashing with me for about 3 or 4 months. It was cool , I'd go to work and then get home and we'd sit up playing computer games all night gettin wasted and basicaly have a pretty cool time, then the weekends go out and have a mad one. the usual really.

My mate (he needs a name for reference later, lets say Tom lol) was from another part of Ireland and one Sunday night when he was comin back to dublin (we were going to see a Pink Floyd cover band) he met some girls from where he lives on the bus, now he was a looker and girls were usually mad for him. So he rang me and told me off a pub to meet them all in. So after work i headed into the city to meet up with Tom and these girls i never met.

Soooo..somethign funny happened me on the bus on the way in, long story short---group of spanish kids tried embarrassig me at a bus stop, about 30 kids all waving at me, then the guy in front starts waving back..blah blah--- so i was tellin dave (i thought no one was listening) and then *she* started laughing and i was never so drawing to someone in my life...i was like WTF, it was instantanious (obv wrong spellin) , I cant explain it, even when Tom introuduced me to the girls it was your normal Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi *forget all names* kinda thing

But in that moment i was drawing to her, for the rest of the day everywhere we went we sat together, got eack other drikns and instantly became great friends, funny thing is she spent the day tellin me she fancied Tom and told her, ill look into it and sort her out. (on a side note my mate was such a plonker and managed to mess it up with the douche bag "I know you want me" line LOL and they didnt end up scoring each other...the gig was savage BTW

So sorry for rambling, anyway we of course swapped numbers and kept in touch on nearly a daily basis. Then one day she invited me down to meet her and put an "x" in the SMS which was obvious something was brewing, so LDO i got on the next bus and arrived in Galway where she was in college,luckily alot of friends were studying there too and it was always insane/blackout/pills all out madness anytime i went out with them so i was happy out wit my little trip down. BTW I stil hadnt mentioned she is beautiful, one of those faces of beauty rather sexy if ya know what i mean

I arrived about 8 and got drunk with my mates in their house all the time gettin extremely nervous/anxious bout meeting up. I knew we were gonna get together and i was excited little boy. Only one problem my mates went and got Buckfast for everyone which i doubt many of ye know as its a Scottish drink but basically it sends everyone mental, pumped with caffeine i have no idea why its not illegal and the funny thing is its made by monks in a monastary, ask anyone from Galway about it ...Jeesh...dont believe me google it

So i was 1/3 way through my bottle and all was good, we had planned where we were going to meet and all was hunky dorey....but all of a sudden it was pitch black...WTF where is every one, all i could hear was "aAAAaaah lemme oout", obv i was confused but i was also hammered, i then realised i was in bed ****** Looked at my watch and it was 2:30am WTF my mates let me sleep ...when did i go to bed...CHIT!!!!

So i got up ,went into the hall and another mate who was bannanas drunk was running round the house shouting "BASTIDS BASTIDS LOCKED US IN" lol he was one of the funniest guys id ever known for being drunk, when sober was a mute and when he got drunk esp on buckie he let rip. I had blacked out and crashed, my mated tried everything but couldnt wake me so put me to bed, obviously i had numerous missed calls and texts from Her and when irang her and told her the story she wasnt to happy. She said I was a disaster and theres no point meeting up. This obv sucked and i was so pist off

My mates arrived back from the nightclubs and we stayed up all night gettin wrecked. Then around 6 in the mornging my mates tryin to cheer me up said lets go to the pub. Now in Ireland going to the pub at 6 in the morning cant usually be done but in Galway theres a bar for "the sailors" LOL open all night. If you could ever see such a place its hilarious, it has been done up now since i was there but at the time...my god

Picture a bar (at 6 in the morning when your out of your skull) half full of Winos, guys tellin you "the Lord is coming soon" kinda BS and the other half full of lively students out on an all night session..what a mix, what a pub, what a dump! It was filth mixed in with more filth but we were all buzzin so we didnt care. There was one toilet for the guys and when i staggered into a girl who was inworse shape than me, that toilet was the best place for us to go...so go we did. For about an hour the door was being banged on by drunken customers, some winos shoutinthe nuttiest chit, we both ignored them aswe ripped the clothes of each other in the dirtiest toilet you ever seen! Finally the owner of the pub unlocked the door. "Get the [censored] ye little chits a brains" as i lifted her off the floor we laughed toegther! Obviously assumin I was being thrown out i went over to say good bye to me mates but the barman said "Ya'll prob need a pint after that?...Cider" loL Yeh and one for her too!

Talk bout gettin side tracked in my story jessh

Anyway She rang me the next day and said Sorry bout last night and i of course apologised for f**kin up major, i wa sdisgusted with myself for being such a clown so I got dressed left that strangers house and headed into meet her

Long story short we met up that night and that was that, we were offically going out, I was gob smacked that i had met a girlthat had such an affect on me. Over time I fell mad in love with her and she me, I was now startin to see what relationships were all about. I was a new man and pitied my old beliefs , relationships (with the right person) are amazing and this was no different.

fast forward 2 years my mate Tom moved to Holland to work in sound engineering and me and Her were still together until we go through a rough patch, we were plannin to go to Spain in a weeks time to visit friends and then my parents but we had a huge fight on the phone, she didnt seem erself and i kept on harpin on about "What is it , theres something...do you want to break up" kinda chit to the point where she said Ok yeh i do..i slammed the phone down and walked straight out the door at work. I wasnt used to us fighting and assumed we were finished cause me being a stubborn prick certainly wasnt ringing her back to change her mind /read as i tried about 50 times/

So my first thing was to get the f**k outta where i was, i needed to get away , She wasnt *that* serious when she first said it to me bout us being over but i think the idea grew in her head and she stuck with it. So in a knee jerk reaction went to visit my friend in Holland, we went up to Amsterdam to "blow off some steam" , we got wrecked

The next day i went down to Malaga n spain to visit my parents who were on holidays and a friend who taught english there. They knew Her pretty well and were devestated we were finished, my mate arrived that night and we sat up all night drinkin and talkin about the break up, women and every sorta chit 2 guys do. Our plans were to spend 2 days there, play some golf then head up to Barcalano where 2 of my friends were after arriving. I lived with one of them in dublin and the other guy John was the guy i got locked in the house with in Galway.

So me and my friend crashed bout 6 in the morning when i got a phone call at about 9 in the morning, it was my house mate in Barcalona "Man theres been an accident, john is dead" My mate drown in the sea in barcalona, they were out all night in "the square" and about 5 in the morning took loads a coke with some guy they just met and went to the beach. John suggested "first to swim out to that Bouy (thing that floats in water) and then run over and touch the homeless guy wins" they did but john didnt make it back.

So straight away me and my mate went up to barcalona and as you can imagine the next few weeks/months were fairly nutty

He was some character and for weeks we sat around drinkin tellin stories bout him and really gettin through it together. Very hard to lose a friend at 20 when you think you are all invincable etc

The whole next 2 months seem such a blurr, every day was a nightmare and i really couldnt spend time thinkin about Her and the break up, everything else seemed more imprtant, my problems shrank up

But this had a lasting affect on me, when all the dut finally settled i was alone.She was gone and then it hit me how much i missed her. I didnt get in tuch with her or her friends and tried avoiding talkin about her but i always thought of her, sleepness night and all that BS that comes with a broken heart. I just couldnt shake it off. I wanted her to ring me and talk to me but she never did,i convinced my self ah screw it she deserves better anyway...then i heard sh was seein someone else. this was about 5 weeks after the break up....that hurt big time

Anyway THE POINT OF ALL THIS POST WAS ....over the years she kept in touch with me with simple emails maybe once or twice a month just to keep in check. Id always reply in a friedly way and try to end the email convo early cause it always hurt to hear from her. I just never felt closure on the whole relationship and thought we woudl end up back together bt knew we woudlnt kinda thing. So i never got in touch with her

Then about 2 months ago she text to say she'd be in my hometown and did i wanna meet up. I of course obliged , nervously admittedly.I went into town to get some snazzt clothes before we meet up, i was helpin a brother move all day and was filthy when in town shoppin only to get a text say "Hey look outside" there she was across the road...BALLS! So typical...but anyway we hung out for the 1st time in years and had a blast, went shoppin together and caught up. We planned to meet around 9 that night

Again it was a bit of a disaster. Before i went into meet her i was in friends house, some friedns were takn some coke so i reckoned hey that might help the nerves cause even though it was over 4 years ago i still held a flame for her. But i managed to take waaaay too much so when i met her i was in a state, she kept askin what was wrong so i told her i was wasted...lol donktown

We went outside for a smoke and i started tellin her how i never thought we got closure and dammit seein you today brought old feelings back etc

She then sat down on the footpath and said sit down...My heart skipped a beat. I wanna tell you something...Ok ok what is it....Im going out with someone she said....BALLS, ok cool , your a good lookin girl, thats natural whatso hard totell me i said (while of course feelin my soul leak out my feet!) ..well its someone you know..its Tom (BIG BALLS!!)
Me and Tom had drifted over the years but still kept in touch , he never mentioned they were seein each other

I said its best if i go home and left her back to her friends in the other pub and went home sickened. I got in touch with Tom and told him its too much and i cant be mates with either of them anymore. After about 2 weeks Tom emailed me sayin they decided to stop seein each ohter outta resepect for me but i told them no need its all got too wierd anyway so go for it but they didnt.

Me and Her text each other over next few days and i made a complete fool of myself, basically tellni her how i held onto belief we'd get back together over the years which admittedlly is pretty pathetic,I did see someone from england for a year in between but i never felt as strong abut anyone but Her. She took it all in but never seem to reack out to me so i always felt like a tool after being in touch with her, every god dam time!!!

Then lol I hear TWO weeks later that she is going out with someone from my home town!! WTF how can i get away from her, the guy is a cousin of John my friend who drown in spain...hes a guitarist in a popular band in dublin but hes from my hometown, i actually bumped into her at 1 of their gigs in dublin bout a year ago. Oh my head, but once i realised that she was capable of going from Tom to my friends cousin showed she didnt care for my feelings at all so i emailed her sayin She was a clown. Thats all i said, she straight away emailed back and text me sayin how can i say that blah blah blah

I never replied and that is the last time ive been in touch. That was about 2 months ago and now i hear they broke up lol

Yesterday she sent me a friends invite on Facebook....i nearly fell off my chair!! WTF I looked at her page and no Tom or other fellas for that matter

What do i do....

1/ignore her cause shes causin me headaches for 4 years now and will prob hurt me again
2/ send her a message sayin youve some cheek
3/accept and see what happens?!?

(stop postin on 2+2 prolly lol)


Bullet points
>Met girl, fell in love, got dumped, never got over her, sex in toilet, drugs, lost 3 close people, unrequited nonsense, conundrum ---

[ACDC_34]

Dude i cant even read that much ahh u make my head hurt

[friskyfleabag]

tl;dr

[Tartufo]

Pics?

[ardubz]

[ QUOTE ]
2/ send her a message sayin youve some cheek

[/ QUOTE ]
what does this mean

[4_2_it]

It seems Goofy may have met his match. Somebody read this and translate into English (preferably the Queen's English for maximum comedic impact).

[tarheeljks]

no reason not to accept the facebook invite, but i suggest you cut your losses as far as trying to be with her.

[THEOSU]

2l; dnr

[Gregg777]

[Snoman13]

I actually read all of that and the only answer is number 1. You only get one chance to live, so why make it miserable.