Life changing moments...

[dcasper70]

Avoiding the obvious (births, deaths, etc), post a defining moment in your life. Something that truly altered the way you viewed yourself, or your world.

A personal paradigm shift.

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My wife & I have been together since 95. For the first 9 years of that we were convinced that we would never have children. We enjoyed spending our money on ourselves. We took 2 or 3 vacations a year, bought whatever toys we wanted, did what we wanted, when we wanted, and really enjoyed ourselves. We fully expected to be the best aunt and uncle in the universe. We wanted our parenting friends to be jealous and live vicariously through us, and for the most part they were and did.

I know I had this outlook due to my uncle and aunt. They are the wealthiest people we know.
At 60, he's been retired for 10 years and golfs every possible day. She is one of the top jazz agents in the country, representing many names that all of you would instantly recognize. They eat at the best restaurants, hang out backstage at the coolest concerts, travel around the world and generally seem to love life.

Basically, we wanted to be like them.

Three years ago, he took me to Mrytle Beach for a weekend of golf (on him of course).
Somewhere over the mid-atlantic states I asked him what was his biggest regret in life.
His response was choosing to not have children.
He said it was such a big, painful void in his life that all his money and posessions and experiences would never come close to filling. He went on to further divulge how much he has come to envy what my mother and father have had with my brother, sister and me, and how his most enjoyable of all experiences nowadays is the time he is able to spend with all of his nieces and nephews.
He said he'd trade, in a heartbeat, all of his wealth to be poor with one child.


There are few moments in my past that I can look back on and see my life alter. That is one.
It truly blew my mind that the life I may have wanted, may not be all it's cracked up to be. The person I wanted to emulate would give everything to <u>not</u> be the person I wanted to emulate.

After serious discussions with my wife, we realized that of our two chices, there is no way we'd regret one of them.
How we viewed our future life changed within a matter of days. We're both amazed at just how quickly this happened.

Our daughter is only 14 days old (yeah, that must be shocking to some of you [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]). She was born six minutes after midnight. I woke up my aunt &amp; uncle at ten past.
I already know it is the greatest thing I have ever done. Had she been a boy, I would have named him after my uncle. She would not be here had it not been for that conversation.
I make sure my uncle knows this.

[Acein8ter]

Congrats Casper, must be a great feeling. I'm still single and have no kids...

[Dominic]

great story, and a realization I've come to, as well. Now all I have to do is find a wife!

Congrats on the daughter, I'm sure she's now the only thing in your life that really matters.

[dcasper70]

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Congrats on the daughter, I'm sure she's now the only thing in your life that really matters.

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wife's kinda important too... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]


C'mon, someone else post a 'Life changing moment' so I don't feel like an attention whore...

[diebitter]

Well, okay, I originally did just this thread in OOT over a year ago, and got just fudgemonkey replies. Here's what I wrote then:


I was going out with a girl, and I eventually got around to telling her I loved her, and she started acting odd. I wasn’t sure how to take it, so didn’t say anything.

And here's my life-changing day:
The next morning I went to work, but was sad, thinking on her, and also thinking about my Grandfather for some reason. He’d been the only father figure I’d had, a good, kind man - an ex-boxer - and he’d died a few years before. I’d cycled past the place he was cremated, though it was out of my way, and he was on my mind.

I got to work, and had to go to the Dean’s office (I worked in a medical school bar). He told me my job was finishing, they didn't need me any more. Tough, I worked my shift, and then rung my girl – needing some sympathy. She dumped me. She didn’t want to get into anything serious. I felt absolutely terrible.

No job, no girl, and really missing the only grown-up guy that meant anything to me.

I went outside, sat on the steps of the medical school while people passed, giving me funny looks (you just didn’t do that). I looked up, and it was a beautiful sunny sky, with clouds here and there. And then I started laughing, really laughing, laughing at how this had turned into the worst day ever, when just the day before I was getting all excited about telling the girl I loved that I loved her. I said something like ‘what, no rain? You might as well put the cherry on the cake!’ or something like that up to the sky, and grinning and laughing like an idiot. And I swear, since that day, I have been a really, deep-down, happy person – what’s that about, huh?

I guess you can take so much crap before you just think ‘to hell with it. It’s not going to drag me down’.

[rothko]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, okay, I originally did just this thread in OOT over a year ago, and got just fudgemonkey replies.

[/ QUOTE ]
standard.

congrats, casper. suppose i'm kind of like your uncle and live vicariously through my sister and her little ones. spent about six months living with them this past summer and it really changed my perspective. still young, so there's lots of time to have kids, but though i think i'd be a good dad i'm way too neurotic to hold down a relationship. not sure what to do when i get old, as i don't golf.

[zac7179]

I was married before and went through a bad divorce. I had pretty much decided that I was going to not marry again and spend alot of my engery for work, and having fun.

I started getting in a real serious relationship with a girl I had been off and on with for awhile. I knew early on it could be something really good but we were at different points in our lives. She is a a deeply religous person....I don't think that is agood way to describe her, she keeps her veiws to herself, she doesn't push them on anyone. I was rasied catholic and moved away from the church at a young age.
She reintroduced me to the church. I kept it at arms distance for along time. The more I saw and the more I really thought I realized there has to be something more out there. If there isn't what much point is there to all of this. Then I went on a deployment to new orleans right after katrinia and down there with all of the death and trashed houses and destruction I realized there even more then before that has to be a god. That is also the day I asked her to marry me(over text messege, yes I know, I did it right later on in person) Who knew 18 hrs of one day in a flooded city would change a person so much. I didn't.