My mom is still an addict after quiting drinking...what's my move?

[Butcho22]

I'll try to keep this short.

My mom told the entire family about a year ago that she was an alcoholic and she was going to start A.A.
She's always had an addictive personality, and had an extremely rough childhood. She has been taking anti-depressants for as long as I can remember.
So she quit drinking...
About a month later she was always complaining about her migrain headaches. She's always had migrains every once in awhile, but nothing like this. Since then it's only gotten worse, to the point where she is now taking shots of very strong medictation, almost every single night to help her sleep.
I myself am addicted to marijuana, so I know what to look for. She is always making lame comments about this or that causing her head to hurt. I can just tell that she is using her headaches to get stoned.
My dad is a doctor so it's easier to get these meds for her than the average person. She will freak out at him, saying stuff like, "You've never had to go through this!! You don't know how this feels!" Blah, blah, blah.
My plan is to first talk to my dad about this, and see what his thoughts are. But even if he tells me he thinks everything is fine, I think I still should talk to her about it.

This is obviously a touchy subject, because I'll basically be accusing my mom of lying to us all and being addicted to migraine meds. She could take this the wrong way in a second and it could get really ugly.

Should I move forward without the support of my dad?
FWIW he's the type of guy who ALWAYS avoids conflict whenever possible. He's never smoked or done any drugs other than the occasional beer, so he really doesn't have any first hand experience on this issue. His first instict will obviously be to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I can see the signs and it really bothers me, so I don't know if I can keep my mouth shut even without the rest of my family's support.

Any suggestions would be appreciated...

[Butcho22]

whoops...wrong forum i think, lol

plz move to proper forum?

[nineinchal]

Have a son to father talk with him. Teach him how to smoke weed. This way, he will understand just how important it it is your mom gets her dope.

You wouldn't want your mom legitimately buying her drugs with your dad's hard earned cash off the black market in the 'hood.

[Beermantm]

You either love smoking Weed or you don't!! You are not addicted. Weed is not an additive substance but if your are an addictive personality type then you might think you are addicted. Anyway don't smoke Weed bro Vaporize it. Much better for your health and a lot less dangerous than other recreational drugs including the legal ones. You can pick up a good Vape for a couple hundred bucks on Ebay and it will save your lungs and give you a nice pure stone.

[headofmike]

[ QUOTE ]
You either love smoking Weed or you don't!! You are not addicted. Weed is not an additive substance but if your are an addictive personality type then you might think you are addicted. Anyway don't smoke Weed bro Vaporize it. Much better for your health and a lot less dangerous than other recreational drugs including the legal ones. You can pick up a good Vape for a couple hundred bucks on Ebay and it will save your lungs and give you a nice pure stone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fairly new to the world of marijuana. Please pm me and tell me exactly what this means, and how it is done. Smoking is ok. But I really enjoy cooking with it more. But vaporizing, now that sounds like fun.

[JoRoLa]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll try to keep this short.

My mom told the entire family about a year ago that she was an alcoholic and she was going to start A.A.
She's always had an addictive personality, and had an extremely rough childhood. She has been taking anti-depressants for as long as I can remember.
So she quit drinking...
About a month later she was always complaining about her migrain headaches. She's always had migrains every once in awhile, but nothing like this. Since then it's only gotten worse, to the point where she is now taking shots of very strong medictation, almost every single night to help her sleep.
I myself am addicted to marijuana, so I know what to look for. She is always making lame comments about this or that causing her head to hurt. I can just tell that she is using her headaches to get stoned.
My dad is a doctor so it's easier to get these meds for her than the average person. She will freak out at him, saying stuff like, "You've never had to go through this!! You don't know how this feels!" Blah, blah, blah.
My plan is to first talk to my dad about this, and see what his thoughts are. But even if he tells me he thinks everything is fine, I think I still should talk to her about it.

This is obviously a touchy subject, because I'll basically be accusing my mom of lying to us all and being addicted to migraine meds. She could take this the wrong way in a second and it could get really ugly.

Should I move forward without the support of my dad?
FWIW he's the type of guy who ALWAYS avoids conflict whenever possible. He's never smoked or done any drugs other than the occasional beer, so he really doesn't have any first hand experience on this issue. His first instict will obviously be to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I can see the signs and it really bothers me, so I don't know if I can keep my mouth shut even without the rest of my family's support.

Any suggestions would be appreciated...

[/ QUOTE ]
sent you PM - hope it helps

[El_Hombre_Grande]

I'm not usually a "life advice" poster, but because your thread seems to have taking a turn towards a pot smoking seminar (which as intrigued as I am by vaporizing...) I'll give it a try.

I think you should approach your mother first in a non-confrontational manner. You should focus on the fact that you think things are so much better now that she's not a drunk (be a little more delicate) but you are concerned about this because you don't want her to get derailed.Ask her what she thinks about Dad getting involved, and ask her if she thinks its a problem , and tell her you think she needs help, and you are willing to help.

She might accept, but when she doesn't, end by telling her in a roundabout polite way that you are going to be watching her like a hawk.

If there is no immediate improvement(and there probably will NOT be), move on to step two--getting dad involved, etc. The real purpose of this step is not that its going to work necessarily but that hopefully she will recognize that you tried to get her to help herself before you went to a reality show style "intervention." It may go a long way to alleviating resentment.

[Brad1970]

Hope there's no cops reading this thread!!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[HorridSludgyBits]

I can certainly sympathize with dealing with a narcotic addiction that your mom appears to have, because they always have a 'reason' for using, and it's prescribed by a Dr. after all. I'm a little surprised that your pharmacy allows your dad to prescribe narcotics for a family member, and I'm concerned about the consequences for your dad as much as for your mom, really. (Our pharmacy goes nuts when my dad prescribes Ritalin for our daughter, although they still allow it.)

The main problem is that your dad is giving your mom the prescriptions to get her off his back rather than because he really believes she needs them. This can lead to a number of serious problems for him, as you might imagine. I've had something happen similar to this in my family. He needs to get someone else to prescribe for her, at the very least.

As far as what you can do, well, there's not much. Talking to your dad is fine, but you're not likely telling him anything he doesn't already know. It's just much easier to give in and keep the peace at home than it is to confront someone with a problem who isn't ready to change. As you know, trying to reason with your mom will just get you yelled at and called insensitive for not understanding her pain. I've been there.

Unfortunately, the cliche that addicts have to hit bottom before they change is almost always true. I wish I could give you something more optimistic than that. I hope things get better wrt this problem for you.