Rounders 3: Internet

[BowToYourSensei]

lsats on saturday. what with me not wanting to study, and the NVG eurorounders thread being bumped, i thought i'd present the first part of my attempt at the 3rd installment of rounders, Rounders 3: Internet






- Player sits out of a .5/1 NL table; chat scrolls along bottom left corner of screen –

Grimstarr (observer): Listen, here’s the thing. If pokerace can’t spot the sucker in your first 5 hands at the table, then you are the sucker. See, I learned how to win a big blind at a time. But finally, I’ve learned this: if you’re too careful, your whole life can become a [censored] button steal.

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TITLE/CREDITS

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- Grimstarr reserves open seat at Ivey Deathmatch –

FTPDoug (observer): Not playing 3/6 buttons?
Grimstarr: Nope. Not tonight. Gimme 100 stacks of high society.
FTPDoug (observer): 100 grand. Count it.

- Black alien avatar sits in –

Grimstarr (narrating): He doesn’t look like much, but Phil Ivey is the King of Full Tilt. He’s the one guy in the game you don’t want to [censored] with, but if you’re looking for high stakes, this is the only game on the net.

Phil Ivey: gl
Grimstarr: [censored] you

Grimstarr (narrating): They all know me as a low stakes blind stealer. But that’s about to change.

- Grimstarr is dealt the K of diamonds and is the button –

- Phil Ivey raises to 3 thousand –

- Grimstarr clicks time –

Grimstarr (narrating): I don’t have [censored] but I’m going all in. And I know he’s folding. They all fold. I want him to think I’m pondering a call, but really, I’m thinking about the 50 BB I’m robbing from this sucker, and the Geo I’m going to be rolling in when I cash it out

- Grimstarr goes all in for $100,000 –

Phil Ivey: lol
Grimstarr (narrating): I know what he has before he does anything else…

- Phil Ivey calls -

- Phil Ivey shows [Ac Ad] -

- Grimstarr shows [Ah 9d] –

Grimstarr (narrating): I’m a 17-1 dog, but there’s still a chance…

- Flop comes As, Ks, 2d –

Grimstarr (narrating): …
Phil Ivey: gg
Grimstarr: $#@()$ you you *(%#@%$@#*(% black @$(*@$@($* I WILL MURDER YOU

- Phil Ivey wins $199,999.50 with three of a kind, Aces –

Grimstarr (narrating): I’ve lost everything.
Grimstarr (observer): What do I do, Mat? I have no money.
Mat Sklansky (observer): At least you still have 2+2 forums, amirite?

- Grimstarr smiles about this new glimmer of hope –

Grimstarr (observer): Right.
Mat Sklansky (observer): LOLOLOL! WRONG BITCH!

- Mat Sklansky launches banhammer –