Mother commits suicide at same spot as her only daughter

[luckyjimm]

It's not the first time I've read of a parent committing suicide soon after their only child kills themselves:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7002179.stm

For me it's about the saddest story imaginable. I think this is because, like everyone else, I'm in a family, and I know what it's like to be loved by my parents, how much they have given for me, and how much they have sacrificed for me and my brother. And also I know the happiness (and sadness) parents get from their children's lives.

It is an intensely stupid and selfish act for this girl to have killed herself over some little tiff with her boyfriend. In a sense, her life is not hers to take. As an only child, she killed three people when she killed herself.

When I think of whatever abnormality of mind made this girl kill herself, I just think she was very foolish to lack the vision to see her short-term unhappiness was utterly inconsequential in the broader sweep of her life. Maybe that's what being young is about: not realising that your current happiness or sadness won't last forever.

But when I think of her mother's death, it strikes me as unbelievably poignant and tragic. She killed herself because she felt she had nothing left to live for. Quite differently from her daughter, she judged that, yes, her life had lost its purpose and would not get better. In losing her only child, she lost her own future. The family's narrative was over - growing old with her husband, tending the garden, watching television, perhaps bingo or bridge would be all she had to look forward to. She'd never dance at her daughter's wedding. In an act of impetuousness her daughter had killed her own mother's hope for the future.

Perhaps this story is so upsetting because it is small scale. I can't relate to a thousand made homeless by an earthquake. But the death of a family strikes me hard.

[jono]

Nothing constructive to add other than that really, really sucks

[BigPoppa]

I only have one child, and I'm not sure I'd want to keep living if he killed himself.
I would wake up every day feeling like an utter failure at life who had nothing to contribute and nothing to look forward to.

An accident or illness, and I could keep going; but suicide sends such an ugly message to everyone the person knows. This is especially true to the parents. The child is basically saying "I hate the life you gave me, and I wish you'd never done it". After all the love and sacrifice of being a parent, that's pretty brutal.

[luckyjimm]

Here's a similar heartbreaking story:

The parents of a man who hanged himself took their own lives after hearing of his death an inquest has heard.

Neil Powell, 27, from Bridgend, was found hanging from a tree in a field in July 2005.

Hours after being told by police, his father Robert, 56, hanged himself at home in Llandeilo and his mother Mary, 56, drowned herself at a reservoir.

The coroner said it was one of the most tragic family cases he had come across in 30 years.

He recorded that Neil Powell, a chemistry graduate, killed himself by hanging and returned a suicide verdict on his parents.

The inquest heard that Mr and Mrs Powell were told by police their only son Neil had been found hanging near his home on 14 July, 2005.

Hours later, the couple took their own lives. They were last seen driving down the lane at 2130 BST by a neighbour

Mr Powell, a retired civil servant, was found hanged in an outhouse building of his home after driving his wife to the Llyn Brianne reservoir where she had drowned.

The hearing was told how police discovered the couple had attempted to poison themselves by trying to attach a vacuum pipe to their car's exhaust.

Officers also found a substantial quantity of tablet wrappers in the vehicle.

Their bodies were discovered on 15 July 2005 - the day after their son's body was found.

A farmer had previously discovered Neil Powell's body hanging from a tree in a field opposite a paper mill near Maesteg.

The coroner heard how he had appeared depressed after being unemployed for 18 months.

Phillip Walters, coroner for Bridgend and the Glamorgan Valleys, described the death of the family as "most tragic family case that has been my unfortunate experience to deal with in my 30 years as a coroner.

"Mr and Mrs Powell felt there was no purpose on going on after the death of Neil.

"They loved their son very much and life there after served no purpose and they took the ultimate step of ending their lives."

Speaking about the death of Neil Powell he added: "One of the nationwide phenomena which we have at the moment is the suicide of young males.

"There has been a considerable spate of suicides in young males in this age group, and in many cases no-one has been able to find answers.

"And this, I regret to say, is another one which I have had to deal with where I can find no answers other than to say that generally since he had finished work he wasn't the man he used to be.

"There are no notes and there was no communications with any friends to suggest the events surrounding his death or that he was going to take this course of action."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/4862848.stm

[W brad]

Funny, when I made this post a couple of weeks ago, some questioned my reasoning. This new thread should make it obvious.

Reprint of prior post:
<font color="purple"> I would never want people to know that I committed suicide, so I have thought about how to arrange my death in a way that does not look like suicide.

You know: suicide by "cop", suicide by car "accident", suicide by mountain climbing "mistake", suicide by snorkling "accident", suicide by "snake bite". </font>

[Phil153]

I take a different view. I think if someone wants to kill themselves, that is their choice, and the effect it has on those around them is not their fault.

You also don't know that she killed herself just over a tiff with her boyfriend. There may have been childhood abuse or a whole range of other stuff (guilt over which may have led the mother to take her own life).

This mutual responsibility view of family relations is kind of bothersome. Your parents chose to bring you into the world, knowing full well they'd have to raise you. You can choose to be grateful and reciprocate their love and effort, but it's only a choice. Taking it too far isn't healthy IMO.

But sad story, obviously

[Dickie_Drain]

I could not believe this when I read.
Natasha lived close to me so there was lots of news when she went missing.
I still remember vividly when I heard on the car radio that they had found Natasha’s body near the railway line. We will never find out if it was suicide or a tragic accident.
How much grief must the mother have felt to do this. So sad.
Find Natasha

[luckyjimm]

[ QUOTE ]
There may have been childhood abuse or a whole range of other stuff (guilt over which may have led the mother to take her own life).


[/ QUOTE ]

I hate this expression and you've forced me to say it: wow, just wow. What an outrageous and baseless speculation. No, I take the story as it's reported. Silly girl kills herself over a tiff with boyfriend. Loving supportive mother who gave everything for her daughter kills herself in grief.

Obviously there are cases where teenagers/young people kill themselves in response to abuse, for example:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6124190.stm

But the situation in OP is clearly nothing like that. And, yes, I do believe that in return for the financial and emotional investment parents make in their children in a normal, happy family, the children have obligations in return. No, I don't believe you have to marry someone unsuitable because your parents like them, or become a doctor when really you want to be an artist, or not take any risks or do anything differently from how your parents would.

But I believe that by fulfilling your obligation to yourself to live well, to find whatever your idea is of happiness and obtain for yourself on your own terms the best life possible given the start your parents have given you, you are also implicitly fulfilling your obligation to your parents. You are making the most of the life they have given you, and allowing them to find happiness in your happiness, and pride at your success. To kill yourself, when you have had loving, supportive parents, and you are not even someone with depressive or psychiatric issues, strikes me as a wicked, wicked thing to do. You are murdering your parents as well as yourself.

[Aces McGee]

[ QUOTE ]
It is an intensely stupid and selfish act for this girl to have killed herself over some little tiff with her boyfriend. In a sense, her life is not hers to take. As an only child, she killed three people when she killed herself.


[/ QUOTE ]

You're certainly not the only one who has this attitude towards suicide, but frankly, I couldn't agree less with it.

-McGee

[luckyjimm]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It is an intensely stupid and selfish act for this girl to have killed herself over some little tiff with her boyfriend. In a sense, her life is not hers to take. As an only child, she killed three people when she killed herself.


[/ QUOTE ]

You're certainly not the only one who has this attitude towards suicide, but frankly, I couldn't agree less with it.

-McGee

[/ QUOTE ]

State your case?