Asking out a girl

Kilillan · #1 02-12-2007, 06:49 AM

Ok, well I've been annoying SSNL with this and Goofyballer told me to create a thread. So here it is.

Well I moved to Japan alone on December 22nd. I started taking language classes with a german girl around January 10th. We got along pretty well, we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

She graduated from the class on the 5th so we don't see eachother on a regular basis anymore, but I started teaching her poker. So I've seen her a couple times since then. Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

I wasn't really sure how to take that, I just asked why he was annoying then talked about poker, etcetera.

Today I texted her with

And it's been 6 hours since I sent it, she still hasn't responded.
In Japan texts are usually answered pretty quickly since the cell phones ring when they get a new text, also there's a big message on the main screen.

So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?
And is there a good way to ask if she has a boyfriend?
And any other suggestions?

She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

goofyballer · #2 02-12-2007, 06:57 AM

Muahaha, all of the girl threads I've inspired are leading a takeover of The Dorm!

EricW · #3 02-12-2007, 07:12 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, well I've been annoying SSNL with this and Goofyballer told me to create a thread. So here it is.

Well I moved to Japan alone on December 22nd. I started taking language classes with a german girl around January 10th. We got along pretty well, we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

She graduated from the class on the 5th so we don't see eachother on a regular basis anymore, but I started teaching her poker. So I've seen her a couple times since then. Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

I wasn't really sure how to take that, I just asked why he was annoying then talked about poker, etcetera.

Today I texted her with

And it's been 6 hours since I sent it, she still hasn't responded.
In Japan texts are usually answered pretty quickly since the cell phones ring when they get a new text, also there's a big message on the main screen.

So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?
And is there a good way to ask if she has a boyfriend?
And any other suggestions?

She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't ask her if she got the first one. She obviously did and you'll end up looking desperate.

Bork · #4 02-12-2007, 07:13 AM

At this point I think it is not looking good for your prospects of being more than a friend.

Advice for future:
Why are you paying for her lunch? Don't ask out by text message.. Don't ask if she is busy on X.. Just say I am doing Y, you can come along. Gauge reaction and go from there.

EricW · #5 02-12-2007, 07:13 AM

btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Kilillan · #6 02-12-2007, 07:15 AM

[ QUOTE ]
btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Baller?
Pretty standard no?

????

And why are my prospects aren't good?

Am I missing something here?

EricW · #7 02-12-2007, 07:18 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Baller?
Pretty standard no?

????

And why are my prospects aren't good?

Am I missing something here?

[/ QUOTE ]

man, I suck with girls but I know the big "what not to dos" and paying for a girl especially in your situation is a huge no-no. She'll just see you as a chump who's paying for her free meal while that french [censored] is playing hard to get while nailing her.

Kilillan · #8 02-12-2007, 07:21 AM

it wasn't really because she was a girl, I offer to pay for drinks or lunch when I eat out with my other friends too.

I made like 20k last month and 10$ is a lot to some people, so I don't mind it at all.

un-baller?

EricW · #9 02-12-2007, 07:23 AM

[ QUOTE ]
it wasn't really because she was a girl, I offer to pay for drinks or lunch when I eat out with my other friends too.

I made like 20k last month and 10$ is a lot to some people, so I don't mind it at all.

un-baller?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll tell you what's NOT baller and that's you telling her that you really like her and her not reciprocating. I think that if a girl was interested, she'd go a little out of her way to give you some attention but the fact that she kind of brushed your comment off and didn't really make an effort to see you again doesn't bode well for you. Then again, I suck with women so what do I know?

Kilillan · #10 02-12-2007, 07:26 AM

What I failed to mention is that her english really isn't perfect. She misses sarcasm and any kind of ambiguity, it's very possible she didn't understand what I said.

I also didn't word it like that