Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex

[manupod]

Since breaking up with the GF a few months ago, I have trouble w/ regular sex with other people, but BJs are all good. In fact, I think I always preferred them and my friends thought I was crazy. I dunno.

[samsonite2100]

[ QUOTE ]
When girls say they find oral more intimate, they don't necessarily mean "intimate"...most just mean oral is too embarrassing unless they are really comfortable. It's not really the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's exactly the same thing. They have to have a level of trust and comfort with you to not be embarrassed. That's intimacy.

[StevieG]

I like to have my cake and eat it, too.

Eating it is more intimate.

[tuq]

Interesting responses thus far.

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind and that would be a retarded endeavor anyway. I've just always thought that putting your face in someone else's crotch is a more intimite act than putting the jigsaw puzzle together.

Also, the eye contact thing is a pretty good point but I find it less applicable in non-missionary positions. I don't really like that anyway. Cowgirl, I guess there's some eye contact but it's from several feet away. Reverse cowgirl & doggystyle, the only eye contact would come courtesy of a mirror.

I do think there are a LOT of women who don't feel comfortable with a guy going down on them, it just seems weird, thus they prefer intercourse. I think this accounts for a non-trivial percentage of women preferring regular sex.

[Peter Harris]

I think it's a male/female divide imo (I'm grunching btw so this may have been said already). I think it's insane to think that being penetrated/penetrating has to be more intimate than oral contact. But Jenny seems to think that oral requires a degree of trust which needs to be gained post-coitus.

She thinks (paging Dr. Freud) that it's the male fear of being penetrated which leads many to think intercourse is more intimate than oral copulation.

[adsman]

I think it comes down to this;

With oral sex you are pleasing your partner. With intercourse you are connecting with your partner, (if you have an emotional attachment.) Of the two the second is much more intimate.

[aladare]

god, i don't wanna agree w/ads but yeah.

if there is no emotion, then oral is way more intimate b/c your [censored] is in my mouth not my box.

Tuq,
your poll excludes women. sexist ban! I don't wanna lunch at the Y..but maybe i would like an option 3.
also, oral sex is a stepping stone?? there should also be another choice, of oral sex being intimate, more than sex..not a stepping stone to sex. I suppose girls have a much more intimate role in oral sex than a guy eating ya out...so hmm...i think i will be in the minority on this one.

[Peter Harris]

aladare,

I have hooked up with both types of women - those who will put oral before intercourse as an intermediary, and those who hump first and lunch later.

Another point is that a lot of men worry about impregnation, so they may view sex as more intimate as it may lead to child support.....uh-oh.

[traz]

The real answer here is kissing amirite? I mean just look at my sex trip report. "we can't kiss, but you can put your penis anywhere you want!"

[The Black Anus]

I'm pretty sure that intimate touching of the anus is more intimite than either oral sex or intercourse.