This Commercial Makes Me Want to Commit Atrocities

[Rushmore]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZICu_yRsuKo

OK, then. So Alka Seltzer had this nationwide search for a hip new jingle, and these clowns won. Apparently, they are heavily influenced by Rascal Flatts, some freakin bands from the Peach Pit, The Spanish Inquisition, and the Marquis de Sade, because this is torturously bad in every conceivable way.

I like all the "hot girls" who really love the song--they know the words, and they're really into it. Apparently, the front man for this Crossover Supergroup is irresistably sensitive, and that makes a real connection with his audience.

If I were wealthy and unbelievably angry (rather than just unbelievably angry), I would smash my television every time this commercial comes on, then I would gouge my own eyes out with one of the broken pieces of the screen.

And since I would be wealthy, then I could just buy another television and try to avoid the commerical in the future.

[Borodog]

[ QUOTE ]
I would gouge my own eyes out with one of the broken pieces of the screen.

And since I would be wealthy, then I could just buy another television

[/ QUOTE ]

Seems superfluous at that point.

[tuq]

I briefly considered creating an Albert Belle gimmick account just to tell the OP to chillax.

[[Phill]]

The vid isnt loading for me for some reason.

But either way, you need to calm down.

Plus the fact you are here talking about it means the commercial worked.

[samsonite2100]

I just think it's funny that this commercial is this band's 15 minutes of fame.

[ChipStorm]

Long, long time ago, when Howard Cosell used to do Monday Night Football, there was legend of some sports bar in the Midwest. They had a raffle every Monday night, at the beginning of the football game. Winner was given a brick.

At halftime, when Cosell took the screen and was doing his wrapup of Sunday's games, the raffle winner would get to pitch the brick at Howard, right through the TV screen. At which point they wheeled out a fresh TV, and continued with the evening's game-watching.

[27offsuit]

I saw this last night and smashed my TV when they got to the 'plop-plop-fizz-fizz' chorus and everyone held up their glowing alka-seltzers like they were lighters at the concert.

[JackInDaCrak]

I don't know what's in it but it starts working in a minute!

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I would gouge my own eyes out with one of the broken pieces of the screen.

And since I would be wealthy, then I could just buy another television

[/ QUOTE ]

Seems superfluous at that point.

[/ QUOTE ]

Indeed. I decided to stick to the plan in spite of my potential blindness (and my apparent lunacy), just to show my commitment to my loathing for this commercial.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
I briefly considered creating an Albert Belle gimmick account just to tell the OP to chillax.

[/ QUOTE ]

But, but--HAVE YOU SEEN THIS COMMERCIAL??!!

I need to go to my Happy Place.

Or maybe Timeout?