How Do You Meet New People?

[MicroBob]

iggy - didn't realize you went there for a job.
with co-workers around and meeting some hopefully nice people there, maybe some who want to show you around, you have much better chances.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
iggy - didn't realize you went there for a job.
with co-workers around and meeting some hopefully nice people there, maybe some who want to show you around, you have much better chances.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't, but before coming out, I fired off my resume to a bunch of places and I got a hit. I had a phone interview that went well, but then they were stringing me along saying they weren't sure if they were going to fill the position. I figured once I got out here, I'd start hounding them and if it didn't work out, I'd have to find something else.

On Monday when I was driving out, they called me up and told me they wanted to fill the position ASAP and wanted to go with me. I'm supposed to go in Monday and I'll hopefully have an offer before walking out. Wish me luck on that, because if I get this job, I only have stupid stuff to worry about (like meeting people).

[Jake (The Snake)]

Iggy,

I think tsearcher's post is pretty spot on, especially the part about joining people in activities that you like doing. It's real easy to connect with somebody who has the same passions that you do. Think of (or better yet, write down) the things that you really enjoy and make a plan to meet people who also enjoy them.

As for going to bars, yeah I would agree it's probably not the best place to go meet random friends. Possible GFs maybe, yes. I think a bar is a fine place to go out with people you are trying to get to know better, though.

Good luck.

[Howard Treesong]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Nobody on 2+2 lives in SD to meet this guy?

[/ QUOTE ]

Who would want to hang out with such a friendless loser? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure that Ray Zee will let you take him out to dinner the next time he's in town.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Nobody on 2+2 lives in SD to meet this guy?

[/ QUOTE ]

Who would want to hang out with such a friendless loser? [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure that Ray Zee will let you take him out to dinner the next time he's in town.

[/ QUOTE ]

From The Devil's TR's of such dinners, I don't think I could afford it [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[WhoIam]

I have some experience in this from traveling by myself and staying in strange cities for a few months. I'll start by giving you some advice on what not to do--don't be the weird guy with no other friends. By this I mean that we've all had an experience where we met some guy at a party or in one of our classes who seemed cool and given him our number, only to have him call every goddamn day wanting to hang out or find out about parties. So the basic lesson is don't lean too hard on your new friends. For example, if you meet an interesting guy and hang out with him and his friends this Friday, when next Friday comes around and you have nothing to do, just suck it up instead of calling him up wanting to hang out again. You'll come off as desperate and needy, and no one wants to hang out with someone like that.

Option one is to PM a bunch of people on Myspace explaining your situation in a funny or memorable way so people don't think you're a creep. This is a numbers game--most people won't respond at all, especially in a big city like SD. No one's going to commit to anything serious with some guy from the internet, but you'll get some responses from people who will invite you to parties they're having that weekend or who will let you come along when they see their friend's band. Just make sure to take it off the Myspace PM system as soon as possible; talk via aim or preferably the phone.

Option two is to meet guys in bars or other social venues. This is a lot like picking up girls, just without the sexual undertones. Just go to a bar and starting chatting up a bunch of people and if you hit it off with a guy, say something like "hey man, we should hang out sometime" and exchange numbers. Like a girl, they may or may not be responsive when you call them later. You can reassure them that you won't be the creepy guy I talked about above and are not interested in them sexually.

Option three is to make "single-serving friends" for a night. This starts out like option two, but you hang out with a group of guys you meet for the entire night. There may be times when you need to leave your comfort zone and invite yourself along to wherever they're going. This shouldn't be a problem as long as you're nice about it and you're not getting obvious signals to f off. This will rarely lead to a real friendship. We've all had nights where we went out drinking and made friends with a guy or group of guys and decided we were bff. But the next day everything is hazy and you would probably feel strange if the guy you barely remembered from the night before called you.

As a general rule, you want to meet as many people as possible so you'll eventually come across some people you really like. Maybe your coworker is pretty meh, but he might have a friend who you really get along with. Don't be afraid to lean on people a little more than you would normally be comfortable doing (eg inviting yourself to stuff) but don't overdo it.

Also, the season is still a few months away, but here's a list of Steelers bars worldwide.

[Greenmachine]

obv your not going to meet stright male friends in a typical
bar on a sat night, but a sports bar on a football sunday, where everyones drinking and gambling is a much more condusive atmosphere to talk to a random dude you dont know

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, the season is still a few months away, but here's a list of Steelers bars worldwide.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a cool list to have saved, thanks for that.

I know where the Steelers bar here is and definitely plan on hitting that up for the games. I'm sure I'll meet a ton of people there, because as I'm sure you know, if you're a Steelers fan, you have thousands of friends.

[tsearcher]

There may even be some Pittsburgh transplants that you already know. Maybe someone you knew in H.S. or college that was a good guy but you didn't know that well. You'd be surprised at the connections you may already have.

Also, I'm not familiar with San Diego, but most big cities have lots of out door festivals. These are usually free or very cheap. If it's a festival your interested in go to it. You'll find a lot of like minded people. Bring a football, frisbee or hacky-sack. Someone will want to toss around the ball or frisbee or do some bagging. It's a real easy, low pressure way to meet people.

[JaBlue]

I don't really have any advice to offer you, but I'd be down to meet up with you and hang out some time.

What about a homegame? I know two, maybe three other people in SD that would like to play. Games/stakes don't matter. We're all at UCSD which might be too far from you. Let me know if you're interested. Dunno how old you are, one guy is 21, the other is 19, and I'm 18. You might want to check out some cardrooms. Not really sure if you wanna make friends with the guys in there, but there's gotta be SOME decent people around.

Where do you live in SD? Maybe check out a bar or something, try to chat it up with some people and make friends?