would Jesus have been good at poker?

[Ganjasaurus Rex]

[ QUOTE ]
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

[/ QUOTE ]
If you were sober
and you just went to Jesus
Would he put his hands on you
and make you high again?

[Rainclouds]

He would have had the ultimate super-user account, and he would have spread his cheating-wealth to the hard working micro stakes grinders and retarded droolers at ssnl.

[niss]

This is a dumb question. Jesus was the original "superuser".

[TheRenaissance]

[ QUOTE ]
lol at "The Gospel of Thomas". Written a 150 years after Jesus, as opposed to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, written by Jesus' contemporaries, none later than 65 AD. Some gnostic group put it out as the "secret" sayings of Jesus, 'cause they were into secret stuff. They thought it was cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

From Wikipedia:

Matthew:
"Secular scholarship generally agrees it was written by an anonymous non-eyewitness to Jesus' ministry. The author apparently used the Gospel of Mark as one source and the hypothetical Q document as another, possibly writing in Antioch, c 80-85."

Luke:
"While some scholars argue for a pre-70 date for when the gospel was written, most scholars place the date ca. 80-90."

John:
"Most scholars agree on a range of c. 90-100 for when the gospel was written, though dates as early as the 60s or as late as the 140s have been advanced by a small number of scholars."

Also there is much debate about the date of Gospel of Thomas as well - ranging from 50 to 150.

You are correct about Mark though (60-65).

[/nitpick]

[steel108]

Ummmm, would you really try to win a pot from the Son of God? He tells his old man that you stack a donked him and your off the guest list at the pearly gates.

[Passaman]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
lol at "The Gospel of Thomas". Written a 150 years after Jesus, as opposed to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, written by Jesus' contemporaries, none later than 65 AD. Some gnostic group put it out as the "secret" sayings of Jesus, 'cause they were into secret stuff. They thought it was cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

From Wikipedia:

Matthew:
"Secular scholarship generally agrees it was written by an anonymous non-eyewitness to Jesus' ministry. The author apparently used the Gospel of Mark as one source and the hypothetical Q document as another, possibly writing in Antioch, c 80-85."

Luke:
"While some scholars argue for a pre-70 date for when the gospel was written, most scholars place the date ca. 80-90."

John:
"Most scholars agree on a range of c. 90-100 for when the gospel was written, though dates as early as the 60s or as late as the 140s have been advanced by a small number of scholars."

Also there is much debate about the date of Gospel of Thomas as well - ranging from 50 to 150.

You are correct about Mark though (60-65).

[/nitpick]

[/ QUOTE ]

Good work. However, while I agree that Matthew used Mark and Q, he was not an "anonymous non-eyewitness." He was the disciple Matthew. It's important to note that Wikipedia cites "secular scholars." Also, many believe that all of the gospels were written pre AD 70, with Mark being the first (Luke used Mark as well as oral citations from Peter whom he traveled with on the journeys of Paul). At any rate, all were writted either by an eyewitness, or used eyewitnesses as sources, and were completed basically within a generation of the death of Christ. Quite possible that John was written in the 90s (in fact, probable). All except for Thomas, which was immediately renounded as heretical.

[MicroBob]

haven't read the whole thread but I suspect that regardless of his poker-skills he could have done quite nicely on some turning-water-into-wine prop-bets.

[losingdonkey]

Hero ($143)
WWJD ($107.75)
MP2 ($217.70)
CO ($99.75)
Button ($50.35)
SB ($92.45)
BB ($99)
UTG ($176.95)

Preflop: Hero is UTG+1 with Q , Q .
1 fold, Hero raises to $4, WWJD calls $4, 5 folds.

Flop: ($9.50) Q , K , 9 (2 players)
Hero bets $7, WWJD raises to $21, Hero raises to $50, WWJD raises to $103.75, Hero calls $53.75.

Turn: ($217) J (2 players)

River: ($217) 9 (2 players)

Final Pot: $217

Results in white below:
Hero has Qd Qc (full house, queens full of nines).
MP1 has 9d 9s (four of a kind, nines).
Outcome: MP1 wins $217.

Hero: ****ING SICK
WWJD: miracle card lololo

[Rainclouds]

But buddha would suck out on him

[Teh1337zor]

lmfao @ that pic