Ohhhh Artichoke Joes... will you EVER learn? (trip report part deux)

[DJ Sensei]

Fueled by the success of my last excursion down to Artichoke Joes to play in their 5/5/10 NL game (the biggest in the bay area that i'm aware of). I decided to head down yesterday and give them the business again. See the previous trip report from Monday if you missed it.

So I took the $5k roll down there, figuring if I lost it then whatever, i'd be even. But losing certainly wasn't my plan. I woke up around noon, douched around for a bit at the apartment, and finally called in for a seat around 2:30. More douching around ensued, but eventually I hopped on my bike and headed down to the BART station, crown-royal bag of hundoes (and, of course, my trademark lucky frog card-protector) in tow. Train takes a while to get there, but fortunately I brought my iPod, and it's actually working this time! yessssss. A little dark side of the moon is my soundtrack for the ride down to San Bruno. Get there, ride to the casino, and lock my bike to the same tree out front. Also, its bright and sunny out today. If I own them when its raining, they dont stand a chance when its sunny.

Anyhow, unlike last time I don't get a seat immediately. Balls. I ask for any open seat though, because i'm hungry as [censored] and want to get that players menu going on. No crappy catch of the day this time though! I cashed in my roll for 4 big green $1k chips and 10 purple $100s, which jangled pleasantly in my pocket until I finally got a seat at an omaha hi-lo 4-8 limit table. It was full of old men whose motto was presumably "4 cards good, 2 cards bad" and a young flashy drunk guy or two. In any case, they all sucked, but I wasn't here to take their little moneys. Well, some of it. Quartered the drunk dude pretty quick with QsQc4h3h on a 5h2h8x8hJh board. His naked 43 got taken to shameville. Also, there was another old guy in the pot all the way with like A6 low and no high... what the hell was he doing in there. I don't know, he's stupid.

Soon enough I get my dinner, a bowl of beef stew noodle soup. Well, turns out that I suck at ordering casino food. On the plus side, it was more tasty than the mahi-mahi from last time, but it was also like the beef chunks had a mixer with chunks of fat, and both had too much to drink. By the time they got to me, they were all up ons each other. The noodles at the bottom were good though. Right about that time, I get called up to the big game, to the delight of all my lady fans! And by all my lady fans, I mean the omaha players who are like "whoa, you're a no limit player?" and I'm like "yea, see ya suckas". I roll my little cart across the room with my bowl of beef stew noodle soup and my 2 racks of $2 chips from the omaha game.

So, I take the 8 seat on the must-move table (there are two tables today) but people who play this game usually hang around for a while (hint: foreshadowing), so I don't expect to move anytime soon. I take out my remaining $4700, and some chip runners take away my yellow $2's to go turn them into twenties. The brush comes up, sees my green thousand chips, and basically says "yoink" and jacks them off the table. I am a little confused, but I figure I shouldn't be concerned, since it was the brush and not some railbird/old asian degen gambler. Most of those were over at pai-gow though, of course. Stupid tiles. Fortunately he's back shortly with stacks of purples. Dunno why he pulled the switcheroo, but whatever.

So now the action starts! My big action fish from last time is on the other table, but a few of the players on this one seem a bit fishy too, so I take a few orbits to feel the game out. On my second orbit, I pick up AA in late position (in a kill pot, of course). There are 2 $40 "limpers", I pop it to $200. first limper calls. Looks kinda like robert varkonyi only less bald: squirrely middle-aged glasses-wearing dude. Anyhow, i've got aces and he's got fear in his eyes. Flop comes out 87x with a flush draw of some sort. He check-calls $300. Turn is another 7, and he leads out for $600. I'm not letting some varkonyi-ass punk push me off my aces, and he's only got like $1000 left, so I push it to the limit. The stack of purples I shove in collapses all over the middle of the table. I have a good laugh, as he thinks for a while and then calls. River is something, I flip the bullets, and he gets that look on his face like they always do, where they sort of stare at the board for a few seconds and wish it was different, turning down the outside of their lips a bit, before reluctantly tossing their cards into the muck. Owned. Two orbits in and i've already taken a dude to stacktown. This is gonna be a good session!

Soon after that, an old man in the one seat opens in EP for $180 in a kill pot. Thats a little too much for my crappy hand, but he gets a few callers. The flop comes 954 with 2 spades, and he open-shoves like a thousand or so. First caller folds, second one snap-calls. Turn 5, river 3. Old guy flips 32o, having rivered a pair of 3's. Caller mucks. lol live poker.

Soon after that, I open 76s, get a few callers, and the flop comes 854 rainbow. Sweet fancy moses, what a flop. And the first guy to act comes at me for $260! And the next guy calls!! I call, of course, since theres one more dude behind and I hope he comes along too. He doesn't, though. Turn is a 6, which doesnt really help. Donker checks, caller shows that his remaining stack is $25. I bet like $300 or 400 or something, but donker folds and the other guy obviously calls, and flips 33. lol. River 7, chop chop. damn it. Stupid live rigged poker. I argue that I should get the extra chip because I had 2 pair also, but he got it because he was in earlier position. His straight was longer too, as pointed out by some other players. Whatever.

A short while later, a seat opens up and a frumpy old man takes it. Looks like the kind of guy to cause trouble. The first hand he's at the table turns out to be a misdeal because of some nonsense with his blind, and he shouldnt be dealt in, or something. Everybody grumbles a bit and looks at their cards, as they do after every misdeal. The next hand, when he's actually dealt in to the BB, I raise a few limpers to $120 with AQh. Guy in the SB calls, and frumpy old man raises to $900 straight. Thats weird, I think, why would he raise that much if he had a real hand? He's probably just making a stupid steal. After some thought I put him in for his $2k stack. Other guy obviously folds, Frumps calls and flips KK. Balls. I don't flip my cards though, cause if I don't get there its mucksville. Flop T9x no hearts. doh. Turn J. meh. And the river, not surprisingly, is the prettiest card in the deck, the Ace of spades. I choose that time to flip my cards. Frumps gets up and leaves after one hand at the table. That'll teach him to mess with my raises.

A few hands later, the dude on my right raises to $140 over some kill-limpers, I call with 98h, other dudes call too. Flop 983 with a FD, raiser shoves $900 something (didnt realize he was so short, but ok) I isolate him with another $2k on top (other players have stacks to play with, I don't want to see anymore cards with them in the pot). Fortunately they bail and I flip my nuts, turn and river brick off and my stack is now huge.

A while later, I limp with A9d and call the raise of the player on my left, with whom i've been chatting it up over most of the session. I gather that he's a fairly good regular, perhaps playing this game for an income. When I say fairly good, I don't mean as good as me, I mean good compared to the rest of these goons. Anyhow, I head to the flop OOP with A9d (I think theres another dude or two in the pot, as usual). Flop comes 9x4c2c, I check-call $160 or $240 or something. Turn Kx, I lead for $360 or $400 or something. He calls. Uh oh, I think I know whats about to happen. I think he's about to get pwned. River is an offsuit 3. I check, he bets $500 or so, and I raise $1500 on top. He mutters something about how sick that was, and mucks. Not much happens after that, and I decide to head back around 8:30 so I can party down. It is friday, after all. My stack is about $12,500 when I quit, for a net profit of $7500 today, which, of course, is the hotness.

This time, however, I don't carry it home on my bike (so if anybody has schemes of waiting for me somewhere along the way and jacking my scrilla, forget about it). I get a safe deposit box with the cashier, who keeps calling me Patrick (its my middle name, but far from the name I go by). Whatever. I get a $10k plaque and a thou chip, toss them in the box, lock it up, and head out. Side note: A $10k plaque is about the baddest-ass thing i've ever owned. So cool. ($10k plaque yo?)

But the fun is only just beginning! As I ride back to the BART station, I realize that Target is right next to it, and i've had a hankering to make a few purchases. I roll up into the garage, park my bike in front of the store, and head upstairs to the electronics department. It doesn't take long to get an Xbox 360 (the baller version, not the regs one) a few games (but Gears of war was sold out, damn it!) another controller (all wireless baby, no cords on my ish) and 4 volumes of simpsons DVDs (1,3,7,8 to go with the 4,5,6 i already have). And because I'm on my bike, I ask the workers where I can buy a backpack or something to carry it in. I find a nice reebok duffel bag and buy that too. Straight cash, of course. The bag was definitely heavier than I expected, but I ride it home happily.

Soon enough I get home, bust out, the new toys, and play perfect dark and hitman until 4 AM, with some beers and some laughs. It sure does suck to be a poker pro.


cliffs notes of course:

Brags: won another 7.5k at artichoke joes, bought xbox 360 and whatnot, straight cash, and the government dont gots to know! Also, 10k plaque yo.
Beat: Gears of War was sold out.
Variance: beef stew noodle soup. questionable.

[luckychewy]

hahaha awesome, please go back and win/write more.

[KindaMoney]

Put me on your mailing list plz

[StaticShock]

Keep these trip reports coming.

[thejerkface]

Great trip report. That river check raise was sick.

[JP OSU]

Teach me to run like you...

[Georgia Avenue]

[ QUOTE ]
an old man in the one seat opens in EP for $180 in a kill pot. Thats a little too much for my crappy hand, but he gets a few callers. The flop comes 954 with 2 spades, and he open-shoves like a thousand or so. First caller folds, second one snap-calls. Turn 5, river 3. Old guy flips 32o,

[/ QUOTE ]

El D working on his shania...

[T-God]

I think I want to move to San Francisco.

And Simpsons season 2>>>>>>>Season 1

[steel108]

The floorman at Lucky Chances told me that they will be spreading 10-20NL no cap starting in January. Some law passed or something, but I didn't really pay attention bc he was fat.

[J_V]

[ QUOTE ]
River is something, I flip the bullets, and he gets that look on his face like they always do, where they sort of stare at the board for a few seconds and wish it was different, turning down the outside of their lips a bit, before reluctantly tossing their cards into the muck.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
When I say fairly good, I don't mean as good as me, I mean good compared to the rest of these goons.

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