Sabotaging Yourself?

[jeffraider]

Is it possible to subconsciously try to hamper your own success?

Sometimes I feel like that's what I do, in poker and in many other aspects in my life.

I've got many problems, including personal debt and being overweight. I desperately want to solve both of these problems, and being the kind of person that I am, I've poured incredible amounts of research and study into learning how best to lose weight and get my head back above water financially.

Basically despite the fact that I know the correct move for me to succeed in my struggles, I just can't seem to listen to myself. For example, I know for a fact there are certain things I can add to or elminate from my morning routine to set me up to eat right and exercise properly, but morning after morning I find myself just blowing it. I get up and next thing I know I'm sitting at my computer, and while I desperately want to lose weight and do stuff to help myself it's almost like I don't mind screwing myself over.

Similar deal in poker, sometimes I'll know that I'm making a terrible play but just can't stop myself. Playing SNGs made it very easy for me to curb this and I basically never make a outright bad play in a SNG, but I've been dabbling with NL cash recently and there are TONS of opportunities for me to let myself screw up.

I've heard that some people's subconcious wants them to fail or something like that. Could that be in my case? How can I help myself? Is there anything to Affirmations or that kind of thing?

[alwaysburied]

Try reading some personal strength, or anything that encourages success. They have a bunch of that stuff at your local bookstore. Sometimes it's a matter of perspective. Why do you think so many professional athletes hire psychologists? Don't give up on it, it's a struggle on a daily basis. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, and often. Good luck with it.
-md
www.myspace.com/iambabyd

[bkholdem]

If change was easy everyone would be perfectly perfect.

[CarlSpackler]

“He is most powerful who has power over himself.” -- Voltaire

Listen to the voice in your head when you talk to yourself. Pay careful attention to it. These are all conscious thoughts, but most people don’t pay attention to them, even though these thoughts basically run their lives.

What are you saying yourself every morning? I’m guessing you’re probably creating a lot of rationalizations about why it’s ok not to work out or eat right THAT PARTICULAR morning. Then later on that day, you’re probably pissed at yourself for not doing the things you wanted to do to change your life for the better, earlier that morning. At this point, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably pretty hard on yourself (because you “failed”), and now there’s a good amount of negative self-talk. It’s likely you then have a new resolve to change your behavior the next morning (this time you mean business!), only to see the cycle repeat itself.

It’s a lot easier to keep doing what you have done every morning for the past several months/years, than to implement the desired changes in your life. I like to think of behavioral changes like a wheel in a rut. It’s easiest for the wheel to stay in the rut (your past/present behavior). You have to work hard to get out of the rut (new behavior), and once you do get the wheel out of the rut, you have to be careful that it doesn’t fall back in to the old one.

If you can change your behavior for 2 weeks straight, then you’ve effectively created a new habit, or new “rut” for the wheel. Continue to practice the new habit, and it just gets easier and easier to do over time.

[helpmeout]

I think we all have these battles with ourselves.

The problem is we get set in our ways and resist change.

Best thing to do is to make small changes and have a plan.

Weight loss is simple its just exercise and a healthy diet.

Look at everything you eat how many calories. Why am I eating this [censored]? Figure out what you should be eating and slowly make the changes. Write it all down on paper.

Exercise is a bit more difficult because it is boring. For me I run every morning before I play poker. I used to just walk in the afternoon then i ran a bit eventually you run further and further, then I did it in the morning instead. Now I run about 5km (3miles).

You just have to start it, make the routine. Ok I am going to go so far before I play poker. Do it every morning, gradually add to it. When you get in better shape try jog for 50meters then 100 etc etc.

Best thing I did was get myself an exercise bike, now when I watch tv at night instead of sitting on my ass I'm riding.

As far as eating well you have to be realistic dont just go from eating pure [censored] to eating fruit and veg. Small changes.

Instead of a chocolate bar buy a fruit bar (still [censored] but not as [censored]). Work your plan out, think of how you can improve it.

Once you start to feel better you'll be making more and more changes, your poker game will improve because you'll be much better mentally.

People who neglect all this stuff eventually fail at poker because so much of it is a mental game, not just a game of cards.

[TomBrooks]

[ QUOTE ]
Is there anything to Affirmations or that kind of thing?

[/ QUOTE ]
Yep. Check out Louise Hay.

[Shaman]

It is not self-sabotage. It is more like a thermostat. Now if you set a thermostat at 70, it will automatically regulate the temperature in such a way that it will average at 70 degrees. For instance, if the heat moves up to 75, the thermostat will kick in and bring the room temp back to 70. That's called the "comfort zone".

We all have "thermostats" (aka "comfort zones") in terms of our weight, level of happiness, net worth, etc. The 180 pounder will tend to go back to that weight even if during the hollidays he pigged out and gained 10 lbs. Donald Trump went back up to becoming a multi-billionaire after going down to several hundred million in the early 90s. 90% of all lottery winners go back to their previous wealth level in a few years time. In other words, the 30k a year plumber with 5k in savings will tend to go back to that level even after he has won 3 million in the lottery. The money just somehow seems to vanish. He had this one big 24/7 party in which he "helped" his needy relatives, "invested" his money in "this" or "that" business deal, and gave "loans" to his closest friends. Before he knew it the money was gone.

This applies in poker too. Where a super knowledgeable player just can't figure out how the maniac he used to play with years ago is now playing with Chip and Doyle and Phil, while he, the superior player, is still playing 30-60.

Jeffraider, you don't have a self-sabotage problem. What you need to do is to switch your thermostat dial to a much higher number. Or in the case of your weight, a lower number. What makes up our psychological thermostats? Answer:


Neuro-Logical Levels