Extreme difficulty remembering names...

[Belok]

I've always had a problem remembering peoples' names. Actors, historical figures, people I'm meeting for the first time, it doesnt matter. I will forget a name within 5 minutes of hearing/reading it if i dont make an extreme concious effort to burn it into my memory.

Examples

In any kind of social setting where I'll be talking to 10+ people over the course of a night, I will forget the name of every single person I talked to, unless they personally did something that stuck out in my head (and even then, i'd probably remember their face, but not their name). Literally five minutes after hearing "Hey, I'm Karen", I'm thinking "damnit, what was her name...I couldn't even guess...oh well, Ill fake it" and that's it. This will happen over and over.

Back when I was in school, I'd do pretty well at memorizing whatever random crap i had to for my classes...as long as too many names weren't involved. If they were, I was screwed and would probably not get better than a C.

Aside from a handful of celebrities, I can only have a conversation about some actor by referring to work they've been in. "Oh look! Thats the guy from Blade 2! ...No, not Denzel w...err...the black guy. The white guy in the truck. He was also in Boondock Saints..." And by the time somebody figures out what the [censored] i'm talking about, whatever I was originally trying to say is long forgotten.

I'd post this in Psychology, but that forum is swamped with "OMG how do i get motivated to play teh pokarrr" "why cant i get a gf" posts. Plus, I like you loungers. You're cool.

(Oh, and aside from names, my memory is pretty solid. Especially when it comes to poker stats/hands...numbers in general)


Anyway - is this a common thing? Does anybody else have to deal with a near inability to remember names? I can deal with it pretty decently, and fake it when I need to - but I can see how many lines of work would be completely cut off because of this.

I think its very likely I'm just a bit nutty...

[Kimbell175113]

common advice is to repeat it, e.g.

her: "Hi, I'm Karen."
you: "Hi, Karen. I'm..."

Can't hurt, and makes you seem more friendly, anyway.

[Phil153]

I'm the same. When meeting someone new, the name used to be pretty much gone by the end of the handshake. It's actually kind of funny having to divert the conversation away from things to conceal the fact that you can't remember the name they just told you.

One trick is to put meaning and pictures onto names. For example, imagine Elizabeth as a severe queen. John as a toilet. That way when you hear a name, the picture/meaning is evoked as well, which is far easier to remember as it has emotive content. I know that sounds odd, but it's quite effective.

I haven't heard of anyone having trouble with celebrity names. Maybe pick up a gossip mag now and then as a memory jogger?

[youtalkfunny]

"Common advice" doesn't work for guys like OP and me. I've tried every trick in the book. Nothing.

Same thing with faces. People will disappointed that I don't remember them. I'm talking about people I went to school with for 12 years! I see them three years later, and I know that I'm SUPPOSED to know who they are. Sometimes I remember the face, and not the name. Sometimes, the face escapes me as well.

At my Dad's funeral, a man approached me and offered his condolences. I asked him, "Have we met?" It was a cousin I was very close with all my life. I hadn't seen him in about ten years, and he had shaved his head.

Now here's the interesting part: as soon as he spoke (to exclaim, "WTF?"), I instantly recognized his VOICE, and knew immediately who he was.

This happens a lot. Someone will be sad that I don't acknowledge them, but as soon as they speak, I suddenly recall everything about them.

For this reason, I have a theory: there's something wrong with the part of my brain that stores this info. The part of my brain that recalls voices works. When I finally figure out who the person standing in front of me is, I have no problem recalling--instantly--everything I've ever known about this person. But I'll never recall their name without help, and usually be unable to recall their face.

I'm a balls-out genius. I've never scored less than 146 in any IQ test I've ever taken, and I can recall copious amounts of trivia. There's nothing wrong with my brain, except for the names/faces part. So that's my theory--there's something wrong with a small part of our brains.

I have a hunch that this is more common among folks with high IQ's. I don't know how Einstein was with names, but I know that his closet was full of identical shoes, and identical suits, because he could not recall what outfit he had worn the day before.

Or, I have another theory: I know that I'm never comfortable being introduced to people. I have absolutely no idea why this is. I meet people all the time, and it's no sweat. But when there's an introduction involved--the exchange of names and a handshake--I crumble. I have difficulty making eye contact, I fret about how well I shake hands with people, the whole thing is just an uncomfortable ordeal that I wish was over already! What's your name? Who gives a [censored]! Just let this awkward introduction be over with already!!!

[Rick Nebiolo]

[ QUOTE ]
"Common advice" doesn't work for guys like OP and me. I've tried every trick in the book. Nothing.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just typed "tips to remember names" (without quotes) into Google and got 154,000,000 hits. Are you sure you've tried them all?

~ Rick

PS Serious links to good tips appreciated; I'm horrible at this too. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[BigPoppa]

I remember faces very well, but not names.
I often have to ask multiple times what the person's name is, repeat it, and still forget it almost instantly.

[quirkasaurus]

my trick is to make an association that ties their name
to my first impression of them... for example:

sheryl, sheryl, shaped like a barrel.
joe -- extremely average joe
diane -- died while jogging ( runs a lot and looks skeletal )

etc...

[daveT]

I used to suck at names too. It took tons of focus to get better at it. I used to work as an extra.

My trick was to tell the person to say something funny, or ask for their full name.

I can now meet someone once and remember their name for six months.

I think this is something that you really have to want to become good at. It takes a ton of focus.

I am not a super-genius like the other posters. I did terrible in history and literature because I couldn't remember anything at all.

I remember phone numbers by remembering the pattern on a key pad, no matter how easy it is, I cannot recall my own phone number.

I am also full of useless information. This is possible because one thing leads into another, i.e. there is some sort of pattern to it all that I can make sense of. For names, well..... I hate everyone named x, x, x, and like all people named y, y, y, etc.... you get the point. Logically, this makes absolutely no sense, but it does help me partition the names into something easier to recall.