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#161
11-06-2006, 04:20 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Poin-
I just dropped into OOT tonight and read this entire thread. I am still sobbing but I feel the need to give you my condolences and let you know that someone else is thinking of you and your wife. I have a six year old son who is the light of my life. Before he was born, I had no idea I could love someone so much. Please have more children. The things you said in your beautiful post tell me that you and your wife will be excellent parents. The world needs more children with excellent parents. Thank you for sharing your story and your grief. You are not the only person you have helped by doing this. Many happy days to come... Whit 
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#164
09-22-2007, 10:14 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
I missed this thread first time around. Your post was very moving. My wife delivered a stillborn baby girl, Leah Ann, at 20 weeks last October 5th, it has been nearly a year. I am not sure I have fully dealt with it even today. It is very hard on a relationship, I have a hard time understanding when she is upset about seemingly "marginal" things, but I am sure it is much deeper at times (the new fertility drugs probably do a number on her too)
I could never write the depth that you did. It is quite a whirlwind that is almost beyond words, the decisions you have to make so quickly are unfair. If I could give anyone advice, it would be take pictures and don't stop taking them. It sounds weird at first, but if you don't you will regret it. I thought we took quite a few, but it wasn't close to enough. My baby girl's face looked just like my son's when he sleeps, it makes me cry the resemblance. 
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#165
09-22-2007, 10:41 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Uglyowl,
[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Man I remember how sad this thread made me. That dude can write.
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#166
09-23-2007, 12:00 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
[ QUOTE ]
I missed this thread first time around. Your post was very moving. My wife delivered a stillborn baby girl, Leah Ann, at 20 weeks last October 5th, it has been nearly a year. I am not sure I have fully dealt with it even today. It is very hard on a relationship, I have a hard time understanding when she is upset about seemingly "marginal" things, but I am sure it is much deeper at times (the new fertility drugs probably do a number on her too) I could never write the depth that you did. It is quite a whirlwind that is almost beyond words, the decisions you have to make so quickly are unfair. If I could give anyone advice, it would be take pictures and don't stop taking them. It sounds weird at first, but if you don't you will regret it. I thought we took quite a few, but it wasn't close to enough. My baby girl's face looked just like my son's when he sleeps, it makes me cry the resemblance. [/ QUOTE ] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
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#167
09-23-2007, 12:24 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
wow. i'm a little late here, but i think this is the saddest thing i've ever read. thanks for sharing.
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#168
09-23-2007, 12:42 AM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
poin, all I can offer that might help is to tell you what I've seen with 2 friends who have been through or close to the same thing.
One's just happened a few months ago. The baby got the umbilical cord wrapped around his belly I think. His wife was pretty much a mess for a while and I can tell it's been just about all they can deal with. But I think things are getting just a tiny bit easier for them. With the other friend it was his sister. It's been a couple years. He says she still breaks down once a day or so. But she's getting a little better all the time. As with both of them. I have no idea what else to say other than this is one of the most touching things I've ever read. I wish you the best possible recovery from this tragedy. -Matt Edit: just realized this was a bump. Well poin, I hope you're doing ok.
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#169
10-30-2007, 12:59 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Wow. I read this thread after reading poincaraux's news in the Post if Your Wife is Pregnant thread. I had seen the "in loving memory - Allan Frederick Lerner" on that thread, but had never read the backstory.
In some ways, I'm so glad I did, and in some ways I wish I never had. This is the most excruciating thing I have ever read. I had to stop at least 4 times, and just cry. The description of the discovery, rocking Allan for his only time, the birth, his one outfit, dressing and cleaning and holding him and telling him all the things that should have been. I admire so deeply your strength to do those things and be strong and keep fighting. I have a 4 month old daughter, and reading this and imagining her is the most awful thing I can picture. I wish you the absolute best with everything.
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