Love a girl but there is a dilemma - Page 4

Speedlimits · #31 10-30-2006, 09:23 PM

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That's not what I meant. And I doubt it's what mad meant - but he can clarify that I'm sure. The point is you didn't once mention or register how she feels or might feel in your OP, you just presented a value decision in terms of what you get out of it.

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Oh I see. Yeah she feels similar but feels insecure about her std etc. I would definitely make sure the feeling was mutual before I took the relationship to the next level.

BPA234 · #32 10-30-2006, 09:26 PM

Thanks. I agree that I may have been crass. But, the point is valid. If the op doesn't believe that he has any potential for future prospects than he could factor that into his decision. Although, that would raise several other issues. Other than that, he should move on.

Genital herpes is serious and is definitely a big deal.

http://www.femail.com.au/genitalherpes.htm

Speedlimits · #33 10-30-2006, 09:30 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Thanks. I agree that I may have been crass. But, the point is valid. If the op doesn't believe that he has any potential for future prospects than he could factor that into his decision. Although, that would raise several other issues. Other than that, he should move on.

Genital herpes is serious and is definitely a big deal.

http://www.femail.com.au/genitalherpes.htm

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Well I definitely believe I can get other girls but I find it hard to believe any would be as the one I have now. Let alone even if I did find a girl that is as good, that she would be into me as much as I'm into her. All of that needs to be in the equation.

BPA234 · #34 10-30-2006, 09:43 PM

Speed:

Go to several herpes 2 sites and research the disease. There is little to no accurate info in this thread. After you fully understand the price you will very likely pay, you can at least make an educated and informed decision.

Regarding my original reply, I apologize if I was flip in any way. I honestly thought you were screwing around and that other people responding were just fueling the joke.

But, please note that I stand behind my post. If you leave this girl and move onto others, you will find another girl who is as good or better than who you are with now. I would only consider disregarding the std if I were going to spend the rest of my life with this woman and I was so in love with her that I couldn't live without her.

If you contract this std, you will be affected for life. If you then break up with this girl, you will be left with the consequences of this disease for the rest of your life. New relationships, jobs, insurance will all be affected by your std.

I would not make this decision lightly.

Sephus · #35 10-30-2006, 09:43 PM

thanks for ambushing us with the inline pic [censored].

BPA234 · #36 10-30-2006, 09:50 PM

Most of the replies are dismissing herpes as a minor inconvenience and are encouraging the OP to disregard the disease. There are many serious consequences if infected, the least of which, imo, is represented in the picture.

Speedlimits · #37 10-30-2006, 10:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Speed:

Go to several herpes 2 sites and research the disease. There is little to no accurate info in this thread. After you fully understand the price you will very likely pay, you can at least make an educated and informed decision.

Regarding my original reply, I apologize if I was flip in any way. I honestly thought you were screwing around and that other people responding were just fueling the joke.

But, please note that I stand behind my post. If you leave this girl and move onto others, you will find another girl who is as good or better than who you are with now. I would only consider disregarding the std if I were going to spend the rest of my life with this woman and I was so in love with her that I couldn't live without her.

If you contract this std, you will be affected for life. If you then break up with this girl, you will be left with the consequences of this disease for the rest of your life. New relationships, jobs, insurance will all be affected by your std.

I would not make this decision lightly.

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While I agree I will definitely be affected, I don't know if you can accurately make a statement that I would find a better girl. As for now I will research the disease more thouroughly so I know exactly what I am dealing with.

Either way this is a big decision because A. I have herpes, but am with the girl that I want to be with forever. B. I break off the relationship and run the risk of never finding an equal.

latefordinner · #38 10-30-2006, 11:03 PM

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If you contract this std, you will be affected for life. If you then break up with this girl, you will be left with the consequences of this disease for the rest of your life. New relationships, jobs, insurance will all be affected by your std.

I would not make this decision lightly.

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BPA: WTF are you talking about?

jobs? insurance?

Ever heard about HIPAA? There's no way anyone at your job is going to find out your medical information legally. Insurance? At most herpes is a minor pre-existing condition and if someone was currently taking antiviral drugs for it they might not be covered for like 6 months but most cities have sliding scale sexual health clinics anyway.

FACT: HSV2 infection rates are estimated at between 1 in 6 and 1 in 4 of sexually active people in the US.

FACT: Many people infected with HSV2 never have any symptoms, or only have outbreaks when sick/stressed (if you get cold sores, same thing)

FACT: HSV2 is extremely common since most people don't know they have it and it can be spread without ever having symptoms

FACT: Most people with herpes find out that it doesn't affect their relationship/sex lives near as much as they thought it would.

--

It's always a personal issue when it comes to comfort zones around level of risk, exposure, etc and it sounds like OP is in the process of thinking through a lot of those things. There's no right or wrong answer, people decide to be in or not be in relationships for all kinds of reasons that other people would have no problems with (socioeconomic status, race, relatives, appearance, not liking poker, substance use, etc, etc, etc) But for the vast majority of people herpes really isn't that big of a deal once they learn about it and live with it for awhile.

(and yes, I volunteer as a sex educator for teenagers)

FortunaMaximus · #39 10-30-2006, 11:35 PM

Fairly standard questions:

Is the disease going to cut decades off your lifespan?

Do you love her enough that even if this was a consequence, you'd be happier spending your life with her rather than finding someone you don't love as you do her?

Speedlimits · #40 10-31-2006, 07:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Fairly standard questions:

Is the disease going to cut decades off your lifespan?

Do you love her enough that even if this was a consequence,you'd be happier spending your life with her rather than finding someone you don't love as you do her?

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No it would not cut any length of my lifespan. The disease in question is herpes.

It depends on how many decades? 5 decades, probably not(but not 100% on this). 3 decades, yes.