Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)

[kipin]

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funny effin story man. I would try and do a mental inventory of how much beer was in the house on Tuesday afternoon. Then find out how much remained on Wednesday morning. That way you can kinda figure out how much Pooper Mike had to drink. Was there any sign of ass wipage?

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No sign of ass wipage, and Mike went straight to work after being at our house. I also inspected the sofa, and blanket and there is no sign of brown stuff.

[kipin]

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I think you need to go with my DNA test idea. Loser pays for the test. There's gotta be some DNA in poop right?

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You think a vet would be able to tell if it is dog or human?

[Badger]

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I think you need to go with my DNA test idea. Loser pays for the test. There's gotta be some DNA in poop right?

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You think a vet would be able to tell if it is dog or human?

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Maybe not by site, but the bacteria and other stuff in it is probably different. I really don't know, call and ask and report back.

Also, Exhibit E please- hole in the screen door.

[djoyce003]

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I cannot come up with a Big Lebowski joke here.

But I didn't really try very hard, to be honest.

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Carpet pissers did not do this man......just because Mike would pee on the carpet doesn't mean he did this.

[im a model]

i used to be a detective, and although i dont have enough evidence to say for certain, from the evidence you have given, i would say that it is NOT mike. i think it is an animal. i ask you this--was there piss all over the place? cuz i know that whenever i take a dump, especially after drinking a lot, im going to piss a lot. animals dont do this. so if its just a dump in and of itself, it points to an animal. also, im no dump expert, but that dump looked awfully animal dumpish. plus--it just doesnt seem like something that a human friend would do. take a dump in the middle of the floor while drunk? you need to sit down when you take a dump, especially when youre drunk. drunk peeing in random corners is standard, but ive never heard of anyone drunk dumping in the middle of the room--it takes too much coordination. i have more reasons along the same lines but im tired of typing. but i says animal ftw.

[Klompy]

My guess is that a roomate pooped on the floor to do a prank on mike.

[kipin]

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Also, Exhibit E please- hole in the screen door.

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Sure, but the back door was almost 100% closed when everyone went to sleep. It was kinda chilly that night so it is highly unlikely it was left open. Also when I came home at 1:30 it was closed, and didn't notice it being open at 11:30 when I first stumbled down stairs.

Also, if it was an animal that came in, laid a turd, and then left, it would have had to have been between the hours of like 4am and 11:30 am.

[kipin]

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i used to be a detective, and although i dont have enough evidence to say for certain, from the evidence you have given, i would say that it is NOT mike. i think it is an animal. i ask you this--was there piss all over the place? cuz i know that whenever i take a dump, especially after drinking a lot, im going to piss a lot. animals dont do this. so if its just a dump in and of itself, it points to an animal. also, im no dump expert, but that dump looked awfully animal dumpish. plus--it just doesnt seem like something that a human friend would do. take a dump in the middle of the floor while drunk? you need to sit down when you take a dump, especially when youre drunk. drunk peeing in random corners is standard, but ive never heard of anyone drunk dumping in the middle of the room--it takes too much coordination. i have more reasons along the same lines but im tired of typing. but i says animal ftw.

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I agree, the no pissing thing is very weird. Plus if he was blacked out, he would have no balance and would never be able to squat without falling over.

[Los Feliz Slim]

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it just doesnt seem like something that a human friend would do. take a dump in the middle of the floor while drunk? you need to sit down when you take a dump, especially when youre drunk. drunk peeing in random corners is standard, but ive never heard of anyone drunk dumping in the middle of the room--it takes too much coordination.

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While not as common as drunk peeing, drunk dumping is not remotely an unheard-of phenomenon.

[Vendal]

Find the person who stepped in the poo. I think thats gonna be the key to figuring this out.