What will make you happy?

[jeffnc]

One tidbit I'd like to add is something I've always believed, and I think Billy Joel said something similar in an interview. So many people search for happiness, or want to be happy. But perhaps a better goal is satisfaction or contentment.

[QuimKnight]

Very interesting thread.

I've been playing poker for a living for around 18 months and it really can be a sick emotional rollercoaster.. I find it really important to keep as active as possible as you can become worryingly hermitic. It's very easy to lose touch with people- including yourself in some ways.

On balance though I think the freedom the lifestyle affords makes up for the occasional periods of social isolation. As for happiness in the long term? I think many of the previous posters have been spot on but I do think it's a very individual mindset.

Gl to us all!

[cts]

good read.

I definitely agree with James282's posts about getting carried away with all the free time poker allows and making a stay up all night sleep till 4pm eat only wawa routine. I find that just making a schedule and following it more or less (ie using an alarm clock) really helps keep my head on straight and increases my overall happiness level.

[badhandoop]

I've been trying for about 9 years to find an answer. I'm almost 25 now, and have lived in Korea, Thailand, and the US.

The aforementioned 9 years have been in the US. When my father died ten years ago, my entire attitude on life changed. I only started to realize the extent of the change in the past couple of years. I have a preoccupation with trying to become financially secure. This may sound just like regular financial planning, but I now think it may be a symptom of being alone.

My father raised me by himself and provided for us the best he could. We lived decently in Thailand. About middle class level of comfort. But after he died, I felt like I had to become an adult and secure my own future.

Back then, while living with my father, I had grandiose plans to change the world. Become a writer, researcher, or some type of scientist. Maybe even go into politics. That all seemed to go away.

The underlying purpose for the past 9 years of my life was to put myself into a position where I wouldn't have to worry about money. At least for the most basic needs. This may just be a reaction to the loss of my father and the security he provided for me.

A few examples of what I was doing while all of the kids I knew in high school were playing sports, hanging out, and generally having fun:

Worked 2 jobs for a grand total of 45hrs a week when I was 16. I had to take the second job under the table since I wasn't legally allowed to work over 25 hrs a week during school.

At 17, after working for a computer store for a year, I started a computer reselling/repair business out of the house. And to have a proper amount of time to maintain this business, I routinely forged sicknotes and missed nearly 1/3 of all school days in my junior year.

When I was almost 18, I partnered up with another maladjusted teen for a brick and mortar retail computer store. After 3 years of toiling with little profit to show for it, I ended the business.

The years afterwards included a string of uninteresting IT jobs right up to the present day. I am now an IT manager with depressed little minions of my own. But I have already decided to end my employment around January or so. I've lost whatever willpower I had to be able to do an 8AM-5PM deskjob.

I feel like I've been cast adrift. I've had this feeling for awhile now, but I don't know when it happened. My purpose of obtaining financial security doesn't seem fulfilling, or even worthwhile. I've been so preoccupied with ensuring my own survival that I don't really have a passion for anything else.

In the past 2-3 years, I've become progressively less interested in everything. I've gone through so many fleeting hobbies trying to find something to latch onto. Even sex is less interesting. I've become incredibly picky about women. Unless I mix something exciting like an element of risk or danger ( public place, etc. ), I tend not to even be interested. Oddly enough though, my current relationship has been my longest one. I've been with her for over 2 years. Before that, my longer relationships were 5-6 months at most. Usually my work schedule would get in the way. I used to think this was just them being unreasonable, but I've come to realize how dumb it was to piss away my youth for peanuts.

What makes the whole financial situation weirder for me, is that I don't like to buy things. To be more specific, I don't tend to buy anything unless I need it for work, or survival. I'm fine with paying for restaurant meals, plane tickets and venue admissions ( movies, concerts, theme parks, etc. ). But things like a nice car, big TV, nice furniture, or even some basic pieces of furniture that are considered essential to some people, I refuse to buy. I drive a car that is worth less than one of my bi-weekly paychecks. I have not bought any kind of furniture in 4 years. I rent a house with two other people, and my room has no furniture except a mattress while the rest of the house is fully furnished. I make more in a good night of live poker than they make in 2-3 months. I realize I can easily afford to get these things, but I am just not interested.

In the past 3 years, the accumulated cost of leisure items I've purchased is under $1000. The only items that I can think of that I still have are my Nintendo DS, PS2, some sports equipment, some books, and a few board games.

I may be in a general malaise. This is the way I've felt for a very long time. About all I have as interests right now, are poker, and getting out of this town. I'm not sure whether I'll find any kind of purpose. Maybe the answer lies elsewhere, or maybe it doesn't matter. It just may happen that there is really nothing for me to "find," and I'll just have to man up and do my duty to society like everyone else.

[Pete H]

[ QUOTE ]
One tidbit I'd like to add is something I've always believed, and I think Billy Joel said something similar in an interview. So many people search for happiness, or want to be happy. But perhaps a better goal is satisfaction or contentment.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with Billy Joel and agree with the Hatebreed's debut album title:

"Satisfaction Is The Death Of Desire"

The anticipation keeps me going much longer than the satisfaction of things I've already done.

Only time I want to be satisfied with my life is a nanosecond before my death.

NP: Sepultura - Mayhem