Infidelity

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It also sounds like OP is sitting around waiting for her 'to see the light' and return home and is now trying to convince himself that she was disturbed and made these decisions at least partly unconsciously.

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I partially agree. I would bet any amount of money that she will someday see the light, but I don't know about waiting for her to return home. Her choice to cheat was conscious, but the inability to stop near impossible.