jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[sokiraJ]

Like 95% of my jokes flop.

I love jokes that are intentionally bad/shocking. I also have a very low pitched and quiet voice so usually I end up repeating the same lame joke and feel like a total idiot.

[Xibalba]

The Entourage reference in this thread was sadly overlooked.

[iSTRONG]

The only joke I've bombed was a Timoty McVeigh joke.

[MelchyBeau]

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The only joke I've bombed was a Timoty McVeigh joke.

[/ QUOTE ]

I found this joke pretty funny

[JaredL]

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The only joke I've bombed was a Timoty McVeigh joke.

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I think you're full of [censored].

[wisehandpoker]

8th grade English class, we're having a period of silent reading, but I'm chatting it up. Mrs. Whitney, our ballbuster teacher, shrieked "Gary, people can't read!" My response? "Shouldn't you teach them to?"

[bonlins]

I went to a Catholic grade school and middle school and in 8th grade we had this religious retreat where these crazy people came to our school to talk to us about Jesus. Another Catholic school came over from the other side of town to do the thing with us. So right away we are put into small groups with one crazy leader that was trying to be everyone's friend but was just obsessed with religion. The group is me, one of my friends and a bunch of kids from the other school that we did not know.

So to start out we all have to say our names and our hobbies. First unknown kid says "Im Josh and I like video games." Second kid says in the gayest voice/gestures ever, "Im Josh and I like karate and shopping," to which my friend raises his hand and interrupts, "I like the other Josh better." I cracked up immediately and everyone else just looked at him in shock.

Later in the same activity it gets to my friends turn, he says, "Hello everyone, my name is Jerry and I like to turn water into wine." The overly religious guy took him to the side and explained to him how this was "so not cool" to joke about

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
"Hello everyone, my name is Jerry and I like to turn water into wine." The overly religious guy took him to the side and explained to him how this was "so not cool" to joke about


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Well, at least he didn't talk about turning vitamin pills into amphetamines.

[AlexM]

[ QUOTE ]
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The only joke I've bombed was a Timoty McVeigh joke.

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I think you're full of [censored].

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It's the only joke he's ever made.

[Rushmore]

I tell very few "jokes." Normally, I am just saying funny stuff.

But my worst flub of all-time was when I was drunker than Hogan's goat one night, and decided to ask a full table of fellow drinkers...

"Hey--why is a blind man's penis erect?"

"I don't know...why?"

"Because he's blind."

I literally had to stand up and leave the room.