lost 8K my story help and advice

[soulshot]

First of all besides quit poker I got that part down.

Here is my story...





I had $100 bucks I built it to 1k and got scammed.
Turned 30 bucks into $300..

turned my $300 somehow into 8K.


Here at 8K I was on top of the world. I planned on cashing out 3k and paying for my med bills and having a solid 4k roll. I could play 100nl with 40 BI and cashout my rakeback every month.

I ran sick bad and lost like 1k in 30 minutes. I decided to go crazy and lost all my money.
I begged a friend of mine to lend me 3500 and tried to get that quickly to 10k to get that feeling of being on top of the world like before. Id pay him his money and everything would be fine.
Well I lost that also...

I kind of want to kill myself right now, but I dont know..

Im sitting here feeling extremely depressed and swimming in my tears. I owe my friend 3500 dollars and I have a 7 dollar an hour job working at a retail store...

wtf am I supposed to do I mean christ honestly..

I seem to have 3 choices but each 1 has a problem


1. try to steal parents cc or borrow 3k again and try to get it up to 6k and clear my debts. problem is what if I lose that 3k?

2. seriously kill myself. Id feel to bad knowing how sad my mom would be.

3. Try to pay my friend back $100 dollars a month... thats going to take more then 2 years...


oh and 1 more choice but prob. wont happen

4. tell my friend the truth and hope to god he says [censored] it and to forget it about, then I quit poker for good and try to put this time behind me WAY behind me (online friend ive known for 4 years) plays nl400 with 44k roll...





Please I'm looking for help and advice. What should I do? how should I do it? Why did this happen? Whats next?