So I'm going to Prison for 2 years

[ikestoys]

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no you didn't

you are assuming the body has had a reasonable amount of time to process the alcohol. If you and I take three shots of tequila and measure our BAC's, they'll be the same.

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Isn't it going to take some time to get the alcohol into your blood in the first place?

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alcohol diffuses in your body at just a little slower rate than water. your body doesn't process it fast at all.