My massive psychology post. My life seems to be at a fork.

[PITTM]

[ QUOTE ]
I read the whole post, not really sure what you're looking for? Seems like you've got it pretty figured out what you want/need to do, just apply yourself and quit smoking/get back in shape/get over the girl or find a way to live near each other.

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i think i needed to write this so that i could put all of the things that are going wrong together and analyze them. Writing it out was incredibly therapeutic and i have let some people read it so that they can better understand how i am feeling. now, as you said, comes the difficult part, application.

[leehrat]

I have just a couple of points to make:

(1) Smoking marijuana (especially everyday) will raise your estrogen levels markedly while reducing your body's testosterone levels. This is a major issue, especially given your current depressive state. If you can quit smoking and perhaps occasionally lift weights, you'll probably notice yourself beginning to feel more optimistic and confident.

(2) I really don't think any of this is a huge deal, and you'll probably be laughing about it a few months down the road if you address the weed problem. Obviously you love the girl very much, but your mindset might well change once your hormones reach homeostasis. Your relationship reminds me a great deal of my first "serious" relationship that I had when i was 18-19, and I look back now and laugh at how immature and ridiculous I was. And I don't mean that in a pejorative way at all, just remember there are many fish in the sea.

You're in good financial shape, have a good job, etc. You'll be fine, just straighten out the drug issue. Good luck.

[ImsaKidd]

Whenever I feel down or whatever, I love reading articles from www.stevepavlina.com

Lots of self improvement articles, spanning a zillion subjects. I can give you some of my favorites if you're interested.

FWIW, I love the headphones you recommended to me a while ago.

[please.muck]

[ QUOTE ]
This causes me to hemmorage money and get ridiculously depressed, which i feel hurts the chances of our relationship being worked out.

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Screenname/Stakes?

[Stoneflip]

Read the whole post. One positive that you fail to mention is that you still care. If you didn't you wouldn't be writing this post. Quit the dope while you still care. Once the dope has you quit caring, you are too far gone. You seem to know what you need to do. You also need to think of why relationship trouble gets you so depressed? There might be other factors in your self esteem that need to be addressed, as you might be basing your own worth on her affection. Again I am not in the relationship so I dont know, only you do. Im in Norcal, PM me if you want to talk or hang out sometime.

[ruken]

You need to see a counselor/psychiatrist. You probably won't need to see a full-blown psychiatrist, there's a level beneath that called.. I forget the exact title but they do just as good of a job with less cash outlay. Psychs are there to diagnose serious weirdness. You're just depressed and you need someone direct to talk to.

There's nothing wrong with going to seek professional help. It's what they do for a living. I've talked to them and I'm sure most people here have at one stage or another. Contact your local mental health provider (get past the name, it doesn't mean you're crazy) and tell them you need to speak to a counselor.

Once you get there, they will probably tell you the following things. Don't take this as an excuse to skip going to see them because they're going to help you do these things far better than any dumb internet post will.

a) They're going to tell you to kick the weed. Weed is stupid and obviously it's affecting you. You're going to need help for this probably, and they can give it to you.
b) They're going to give you some direction and a fresh perspective. You need this as well. You're kind of isolated and very dependent on your girlfriend. You don't have a lot of self-reliance and it's painfully obvious. You need to be -capable- of living on your own.
c) They're going to help you sort out why you feel the way you feel, and maybe help you change it. You need help on this, because you feel miserable.

Go to your phonebook RIGHT THIS INSTANT, flip to the Government section in your phone book and dial the mental health help line. They'll direct you to where you need to go from there. You need to get back on course. Being a man isn't about handling these problems all by yourself; it's by doing the best, most effective thing to get you straight regardless of whether you think you're a wimp for seeking help. You aren't going to be able to get over this by yourself. Go get help.

[goodgrief]

IMHO you are an addict. I know, embarrassing to be addicted to weed, but there it is. Until you fix that, you can't fix anything. I think you need to join a support group and get real about getting away from the weed.

If you love your poker, and if you love this girl, then you need to get your head straight. You don't need to be a functional alcoholic (weed-aholic?) who comes home every day, immediately gets high, and is messed up everywhere in life except on the job. It sounds like NASA is getting the best of you, and you're short-changing your interests in poker, your own health, and your relationship. Why don't you deserve for YOU to get some of your best? You've got something going for you or you'd be screwing up on the job too. Build on that something.

As far as your emotions, tilt, and so on, hard to control your emotions when you are wasted most of your non-working waking hours isn't it? Honestly, I think you would have a whole lot going for you if you just got the weed out of your life now. Something in your soul spoke to you and told you to break up the bong. Listen to your inner knowledge. Weed is fine for some people. But it isn't fine for you. Walk away.

[wickedgoodtrader]

My girlfriend of 6 years left me a couple months ago and my game has suffered severly. I feel obligated to go out and try and get pussy or find a good new girl. Finding a girl takes time and so does poker and you ain't gonan find a girl while playing poker. I figure I should have a couple booty calls lined up shortly and my mind will be a little more clear. i had a hooker come over the other day and I played my best session in a while after she left. I guess I didn't give much advise but just lettin ya know your not the only one that's gotten taken by them heart breaking girls.

[Spechel EDD]

well at least you dont have to eat ramen because youre broke

[JohnAndersen]

I think it important that you get your head on straight. Whether that means finding professional help ( there shouldnt be anything shameful about this) or having enough will power to cut the things out of your life that you know you should. It seems like you recognize the problems, and it seems like you are at a tipping point. You can let things continue like this and most likely manifest into something worse or you can take the problems youve identified and channel that into something positive.

I hear some of what you are talking about. I am starting my 5th year at school and it seems like everyone I know has graduated and moved on. I just got back from Spain and my gf and I broke up the very first month there. I spent too much time drinking in my room especially since this was supposed to be the experience of my life. eventually I stopped this and really got to know my host family. I had kind of taken them for granted the first couple months and it was great and they turned me around 110% RJ I think if you look you can definitely find some positive things that you have taken for granted as well. I hope this makes sense as I am just typing off of the top of my head but I hope you get everything straightened out. I am glad you made this post. There are a lot of people who would not have thought to seek out the help, and I think there are a lot of people here who would be willing to talk if you needed it.

John