My massive psychology post. My life seems to be at a fork.

[OneChipWarrior]

re: your pot smoking.

Do you even enjoy smoking anymore? How much do you smoke for a session and how many sessions a week to you think you have?

[KurtSF]

I read it all. Very good post.

I don't have advice per se, but I'm in the area and if you ever want to chat, hang out, get an outside point of view, or just ramble on to someone who'll listen, drop me a PM.

[PITTM]

[ QUOTE ]
re: your pot smoking.

Do you even enjoy smoking anymore? How much do you smoke for a session and how many sessions a week to you think you have?

[/ QUOTE ]

i smoke every single day. probably once or twice. but its just when i come home from work i feel sooo tense and stressed out and the second my lungs are full i feel completely relaxed and at peace. its pretty much the definition of an addicting feeling.

[PITTM]

kurt,

thanks a lot dude, stuff like that really means a lot. hopefully we can meet up at a bay area homegame soon. I will drop you a line if i need to talk. thanks,

[Hoi Polloi]

1. If you want to be with your woman, move to Texas.
2. You can find work there.
3. You can quit dope there.
4. You can retake hte GMAT there.
5. You can go to school there.

Good luck.

[cts]

I read the whole post, not really sure what you're looking for? Seems like you've got it pretty figured out what you want/need to do, just apply yourself and quit smoking/get back in shape/get over the girl or find a way to live near each other.

[hoyasnaxa]

Hey Pitt, anyone that is a normal and semi decent person has gone through similar times as you, so dont worry you, you are not alone. As for everyone saying you need to stop smoking I disagree, because if it is something that you want to do you should do it. However, given the way that you have talked about smoking weed it sounds like you are doing it in a destructive manner, and you should try to avoid doing that. Maybe just take a break from smoking, get things more even, and then decide if you want to again.

Poker - Not a good thing to be doing while in a difficult emotional state, especially with a temper. Every poker player knows the feelings you are talking about, and every losing player reacts the way you appear to be reacting. Again, just take a break from it.

Emotions - You realize some of your emotional problems, which is a big step, now act on that knowledge. Realize when you are getting unjustly pissed, like when driving, and then ask why am i doing this? It will get better in time.

Relationship - Most long term, long distance relationships have episodes like this. Be careful posting like this on here, because she is probably going to read this. Everyone does similar things when they have girl problems, like leaving really sad away messages on IM and [censored], and all it does is make the two people in the relationship feel worse. It sounds like you really care about her, and it doesnt have to be over if you want it bad enough, at least thats what I think.

When people are at their lowest points, their actions and feelings define what kind of person they truly are. You sound like a good guy, so now act like it. If you know smoking and poker is making you unhappy and you are doing it foolishly, then stop. You will be fine though, and good luck.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
to be clear, i dont drink more than once every other week. To say i could "drink my life away" is false. i think my main problem with everything is that i just dont handle frustration very well. When i get frustrated, at some point i just turn off all logic and just think about how angry i am and cant focus on anything else. it sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pot, booze, it's all the same thing. It's a retreating, defensive action. That uneasiness you have when alone at the end of the day can be your friend or your enemy, but by looking to escape, you're turning your basic life force into your enemy.

It's natural to feel ill at ease or a little antsy when you don't have positive things taking up that energy. But stifling it with dope every day until you can stand being in the world or with yourself alone isn't the best solution. If you're really busy doing something that matters to you, you won't have that feeling, and the time will fly. Maybe you need to find something positive to do, so you can use your energy up in a good way instead of stifling it or ignoring it. That way, free time becomes profit, instead of threat and grim reminder.

[joeblack]

[ QUOTE ]
I sometimes try to imagine what people on twoplustwo must think of me.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol... wait, what? why? This is an internet forum. Who cares what anyone thinks of you. Your real friends and family are all that matters.

When someone is like "Oh no I got banned from 2+2", big [censored] deal. Get a life.

[quirkasaurus]

some grunch:

I like the suggestion of changing things a little at a time.

Your girlfriend misconstrued your remark. Clear it up by
telling her you'd like to move closer to her. Make sure
she understands your remark was not because you have the hots for
a closer look-alike girlfriend. We've all hurt the ones
we love. The good relationships persevere.

My contribution to the din:

What is your diet like ?? Someone with these types
of problems ( emotional swings and outbursts, depression, sleep
difficulties, weight gain ) probably eats terribly.

Too much caffeine and sugar probably for starters.

Get the book "Fit for Life" by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond.
It's the Bible for fixing food issues.

Meanwhile, I recommend:

Reduce the caffeine and sugar intact as much as possible.
Eliminate as much cheese and dairy stuff as possible.
More fresh fruits.
More fresh salads.
Less pigging out.

See if that doesn't help the sleep and emotional discipline.