Ask Howard about Oriental Massage Parlors

[Howard Beale]

Ok, I have read at least 2 recent threads where the posters had a terrible time getting hookers. One of them is on the front page now, regarding getting a hooker from the yellow pages. A couple/few days ago was a post about 2 guys in LV who spent a fortune trying to get laid. IN LV! Each case apparently ended in disappointment.

So, I'll admit it, I'm an afficianado of Asian Massage Parlors and have been to many of them in NYC, Phoenix and LA. I haven't been to one in a few months but I'm sure they are still the same.

The Asian Massage Parlors are the greatest things ever invented for getting laid by a hooker and will save anybody looking for this service a great deal of bother so in case you're interested ask away and I'll try to answer/help you out.

[bobman0330]

-How do you go about it?
-What should you expect to pay?
-Most importantly, any funny stories involving massage parlors?

[SNO FLAKE]

can you pick the girl so you know she is hot? Do you actually get laid or is it just a hand job? Which one is the best one in LA? Is there a certain thing you have to say or do or is it pretty much expected that you are there for sex? Trip reports(funny stories)? Are the girls generally attractive or is it hit or miss?

[TheBronzer]

how do you make the transition into an HJ (if not sex)?

can you touch their boobs while they're whackin?

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
how do you make the transition into an HJ (if not sex)?

can you touch their boobs while they're whackin?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you are in an 'honest' place (and almost all of the ones I've been in have been) both you and the girl will be naked when the massage starts. Sometimes the girl will massage you with her clothes on and take them off half-way thru your time for the sex part. I've asked girls like that to just get undressed right away and they usually do.

There is no transition. They will go straight from the massage to the sex. If you think they're taking too long w/ the massage just roll over and they'll get the message. You can do more than just touch their boobs. Much more.

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
can you pick the girl so you know she is hot?

[/ QUOTE ]

Some places, yes. It's been a long time since I was at one in NYC but I was always able to pick. Other places they may try to assign one to you. Insist on seeing all the girls first.


[ QUOTE ]
Do you actually get laid or is it just a hand job?

[/ QUOTE ]

You will get laid unless you're unlucky enough to get the rare girl who'll only do hand jobs.

[ QUOTE ]
Which one is the best one in LA?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't live in LA so I don't know. There must be a gabbillion of them. I went to the ones on the street that passes by the Colloseum (sp?) next to HP and the one near the Bike. They were ok.


[ QUOTE ]
Is there a certain thing you have to say or do or is it pretty much expected that you are there for sex?

[/ QUOTE ]

It is absolutely known that you are there for sex.


[ QUOTE ]
Trip reports(funny stories)?

[/ QUOTE ]

See above.

[ QUOTE ]
Are the girls generally attractive or is it hit or miss?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hit or miss is the honest answer but I've been with some real stunners.

[eviljeff]

ever seen/experienced anything sad/disturbing? abused girls, girl asking for help, etc.?

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
ever seen/experienced anything sad/disturbing? abused girls, girl asking for help, etc.?

[/ QUOTE ]

Never. I've seen some pretty obnoxious customers but the girls didn't seem disturbed at all. A couple seemed shy (which may have been an act) but that's about it.

[Howard Beale]

[ QUOTE ]
-How do you go about it?
-What should you expect to pay?
-Most importantly, any funny stories involving massage parlors?

[/ QUOTE ]

Most of them are walk-in. Few require an appointment. You will either be asked to pay the fee for the time that you want in advance by the woman running the place or you will be brought to a massage room where there will be the time prices on the wall and you pay the girl.

Whatever the time charge says for an hour just give the girl $200 and say you want an hour. If you've paid the time up-front add in amount to bring it to $200. Round up. That should be enough. Don't bother with the half-hour.

I have written and posted (on RGP) the best trip report (imo, of course, but I've never seen a better one) to an Asian Massage Parlor in the history of the internet. Since it has language that would not pass 2p2's filter I won't link to it w/o a mod's ok.

[EYEWHITES]

ever got great sex from a = or <4
best service and rating (1-10 on looks)
the most you paid
least you paid

Bi service? been tempted?