30 and living at home

[Oski]

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I lived at home until I was 28 and moved out to be with the woman that would become my wife. I never had any issues with girls. Either they came over or I stayed at their place. They all lol'ed me but still slept with me, so who cares? It also allowed me to live a baller lifestyle on a not so balla salary.

BTW, my primary reason for sticking around was my mother was very sick and it was easier to take care of her at home.

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My wife and I (and 3-year old son) live with her parents (actually, her parents live with us, but so what). The father is ill and we take care of the parents financially. It has been this way for 8 years. My wife's family are Slovenian and this arrangement has never been considered (by them) to be unusual.

Actually, I think it is great. The same people who ask me how I could possibly deal with the parents, etc., are the same ones who ask me how I am always available to golf, play poker or watch football (among other things). Well, with the whole family at home, I don't have to worry about what the rest of the crew is doing and I know someone will always be able to take care of my son. My wife also like the fact she (and we) can leave our son with his grandparents and get out of the house when necessary.

Of course, this builds into a larger philosophy that I believe in (that a child should be raised by a family and not just mom and dad) and one that I have seen in practice many times in Europe.

As for living with your family whether young, old, single, married, there are pros and cons to everything. If everyone there is comfortable with the arrangement, its all good.

[Blarg]

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I lived away from home with mates when I finished (more accurately dropped out of) uni for around a year and it was fun whilst it lasted but I had to move home because I couldn't cope with the finances. Also I was living in pretty bad conditions, just a studenty mess of a house.

After a couple of years living back home I moved in with my girlfriend and it's great.

I think forcing yourself to "make it on your own" when you've not got the financial ability or responsibility to really make it work long term is a bad idea. Then again I had it pretty easy at my parents house.

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Good point.

Social expectations for a lot of people have not caught up with economic realities. America has experienced rolling recessions for decades now; there's pretty much always some area and segments of the economy that are depressed. Meanwhile, housing prices continue to rise, and Americans spend more of their money than ever before on housing, whether buying or renting. You used to be able to afford a house pretty much as long as you stayed out of jail. Now you can get a law degree and still be out of the housing market for years.

It used to make a lot more sense to look down on people for staying with mom after they hit 18, or at most graduated from college. Now it's just incongruent with reality. I think the ideal for a kid now, unless he has to move to get to a better college, is to stay with the folks until he graduates college, and then stay there for a few more years to get the down-payment for a house.

Of course, you can wreck that up too, by just blowing all the money you get to save since you're not spending so much on rent. Friends of mine did that and in their early 30's should have been ready to move into a nice house or buy some condos outright. Instead they were just older people still living with mom.

FWIW job-wise, people in fields like film and t.v. production, and sales, can take huge advantage of this set-up. Lots of the jobs in the former require unpaid or virtually unpaid apprenticeships, and jobs are very hard to come by. It's only once you're really in that the money is better than ruinous. A lot of those opportunities just aren't available to people who want to continue to live indoors, if they're not living at home. And for sales people, you can take a while to generate an income, much less a career. Living on nothing for months is just not an option for the rest of us, but living at home can make going for a good career in sales much more doable.

[CharlieDontSurf]

I pay nearly $1000 when u included utilities and I'm only renting a fricking room.

where as in AZ i could have my own 1 bedroom apartment in scottsale for like 800

[DerrtySlime]

I'm young and i dream big. For the masses, what Blarg said is probably right. Living at home would be an option if i failed, went broke but man right now i just want to take risks financially and double up.

[Blarg]

It's easier to double up when someone else is paying your rent, though. Throwing away 10k plus in rent per year is tough when you're just starting out, especially if you are having to pay for some or all of your college, too.

[DerrtySlime]

i agree. But the kind of risk does I'm talking about does not involve going through college first. Maybe later. Starting your own little business and expanding is what i wanto to do now, when i have the passion and drive. Whoe knows who I will be after spending 4-8 more years at home. It seems soul crushing.

[Bork]

I lived at home after finishing college for 3 months and found it absolutely unbearable. My parents are very kind and generous to me, I just felt completely worthless and unmotivated while mooching off them. I really need to trick myself into believing I'm on the brink of disaster to work hard.

It was easy and financially smart, but like the previous poster suggested it was soul crushing. Of course how it makes you feel is largely a product of you. So, if you are ok with living at home and most people thinking less of you for it then there isn't a downside.

I am spending 11k per year not live at home, and to live alone. That is over half my part-time income (i'm a student). If I wanted to live with others I could trim that number to 4k ish. It seems to me that people with a full time job ought to easily be able to afford to move out if they wanted to (and are willing to have room-mates), unless they are raising a kid/ paying very large debts/ etc.

[Phil153]

I still think there are excellent reasons to not live at home past 18 (or at least 21-22), and those that do are rightly looked down on by those who stand on their own two feet.

You're not really an independent person while someone who's legally required to love you is providing your food and shelter. Not to mention the bizarre dynamics of being an adult in a family home.

I can't imagine becoming an adult without going through the struggles of having to earn enough money (under the spectre of living on the street), having to manage ALL of your own affairs (with the consequences being that they don't get done) and finding your own way in life without the daily backdrop of a familiar home, people that have to care for you, someone to make your meals, and high school friends. How can you ever build character or know your capabilities if your life is totally safe?

As for the cost of rent, it's not that terrible. I always shared rent with a couple of people, and you can easily have a nice pad for a reasonable price. $1500/month split four ways gets a great place with plenty left over for spending and saving.

[CrustyFace]

2 words, house prices (uk)

[Butcho22]

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I pay nearly $1000 when u included utilities and I'm only renting a fricking room.

where as in AZ i could have my own 1 bedroom apartment in southwest scottsdale for like 800

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