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#1
05-02-2007, 07:43 PM
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Re: My first contract hit
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] For the past week and a half, every morning at 6am a yellow-bodied orange-headed woodpecker tries to drill a hole in the drain pipe at the corner of the house that's right above my bed. It's really loud. [/ QUOTE ] This is mating behavior. The correct solution is to get the woodpecker laid. [/ QUOTE ] More importantly, once he does get laid, he will stop. We had one of these a couple of years ago. It didn't take very long before he just went away. [/ QUOTE ] Won't that just make more woodpeckers? 
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#2
05-02-2007, 07:46 PM
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Re: My first contract hit
Evan,
If one is against eating meat, but not abortion, then you could just have an omelet in a month or whatever and solve that problem, too.
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#3
05-02-2007, 08:23 PM
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Re: My first contract hit
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] More importantly, once he does get laid, he will stop. We had one of these a couple of years ago. It didn't take very long before he just went away. [/ QUOTE ] Won't that just make more woodpeckers? [/ QUOTE ] Who will grow up to bother other people, if they aren't eaten by badgers first.
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#5
05-02-2007, 09:43 PM
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Re: My first contract hit
i can't remember the last time i got mad at an animal for doing what i would do if i were in their shoes. i think it's cute if a canadian goose walks in front of my car, [censored] all over the street, and then hisses at me if i get out and try to get him to move because honking just isn't doing the job. i just think to myself, "if i were a goose i'd walk in front of their cars and hiss because you know what? eff them!!" i like that their program is working out for them.
and of all annoying animals with annoying traits, i might get the biggest kick out of woodpeckers. a friend had one at his house and i thought it was adorable. he didn't kill it, maybe he did the owl thing and it worked. maybe this handyman guy of yours will do the owl thing and then kill him if it doesn't work for the same hundo? tell him that your wife, gf, or some other weak-hearted person put you up to it but we all know it was me. i don't have a really compelling reason, but fwiw it would make me really happy if you at least gave the alternative a shot first. and just to cover the meat-eating hypocrisy test you issued earlier, i've cut my meat intake by about 95% over the last several months. i might post about it. p.s. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_coaching is revealing for those of us that had never heard the term
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#6
05-06-2007, 10:21 AM
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Re: My first contract hit
[ QUOTE ]
i can't remember the last time i got mad at an animal for doing what i would do if i were in their shoes. i think it's cute if a canadian goose walks in front of my car, [censored] all over the street, and then hisses at me if i get out and try to get him to move because honking just isn't doing the job. [/ QUOTE ] Hitting birds with your bumper at pace generally does the job you [censored] hippie. P.S I am an animal and my natural urge is to kill animals that annoy me. I hope they too find that cute.
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#8
05-03-2007, 12:58 AM
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Re: My first contract hit
I don't approve of killing the bird. But I do approve of the awesomeness of this thread.
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#9
05-03-2007, 02:37 AM
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Re: My first contract hit
is this OOT?
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#10
05-03-2007, 04:27 AM
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Re: My first contract hit
[ QUOTE ]
I am not a morning person. For the past week and a half, every morning at 6am a yellow-bodied orange-headed woodpecker tries to drill a hole in the drain pipe at the corner of the house that's right above my bed. It's really loud. Drives me nuts. Second time I looked out the window and saw him, yelled, he flew away. More yelling on subsequent days. No good. He comes right back. Now he shifts his body around the corner of the house so I can't see him. [/ QUOTE ] this is hilarious. i can barely see, but its really funny. bwahhaha i havent read the rest but i wanted to quote it and say lol.
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