Living with someone post breakup - Page 2

jws43yale · #1 06-11-2007, 11:27 AM

You really should watch the Break-Up. This is a similar situation, and the movie although not great, is really funny in parts.

LuckOfTheDraw · #2 06-11-2007, 12:22 AM

Worst case scenario, don't try to take up a casual conversation with her until she starts talking to you. Don't ignore her either, but speak to her only when it's prudent. It sounds like it's a [censored] situation, but you seem to be pretty level headed about it. As long as there's no baggage on your side of the relationship, I see no reason why you can't just tough it through the next several weeks. Also, try to spend as much time out of the house doing stuff. Hell, it's summer anyways.

SVTHORD · #3 06-11-2007, 12:25 AM

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Worst case scenario, don't try to take up a casual conversation with her until she starts talking to you. Don't ignore her either, but speak to her only when it's prudent. It sounds like it's a [censored] situation, but you seem to be pretty level headed about it. As long as there's no baggage on your side of the relationship, I see no reason why you can't just tough it through the next several weeks. Also, try to spend as much time out of the house doing stuff. Hell, it's summer anyways.

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I have a job which will occupy 9 hours of the day. She leaves before I do for class so that's another hour and she'll be working 3-4 nights which cover another 4-5 hours each night. I'm hoping she decides to go home for a few days to get away.

Klompy · #4 06-11-2007, 12:22 AM

If she stays until the end of july I think there's a 90% chance you guys have sex before then.

KungFuManchu · #5 06-11-2007, 04:13 AM

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As we got into the car to go home she started crying and mumbled something about this being her last time going out in my town. Nothing else was said for the rest of the ride home between us.
When we got back to the apartment (friends were staying over) she flipped out at me for ignoring her all night and told me to get what i needed out of the bedroom and not come back in.

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Right there, what did you do? Did you act stonewall, like, man wtf this bitch is crazy...or did you do any sort of talking or comforting?

You have two options: 1. You can be cut off and let her to her own problems. Which makes the living situation a lot more difficult. 2. Help her out if she has problems, communicate.

I have no idea of your relationship, or how youve handled her depression in the past, nor do I know your level of communication. I would say if you still care for her, well regardless actually, treat the situation with respect, definitly do not invite her out if shes just going to be a third wheel, only invite her if you want her there. I only skimmed OP briefly but Id even say if you wanted you probably could get back together.

SVTHORD · #6 06-11-2007, 08:17 AM

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As we got into the car to go home she started crying and mumbled something about this being her last time going out in my town. Nothing else was said for the rest of the ride home between us.
When we got back to the apartment (friends were staying over) she flipped out at me for ignoring her all night and told me to get what i needed out of the bedroom and not come back in.

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Right there, what did you do? Did you act stonewall, like, man wtf this bitch is crazy...or did you do any sort of talking or comforting?

You have two options: 1. You can be cut off and let her to her own problems. Which makes the living situation a lot more difficult. 2. Help her out if she has problems, communicate.

I have no idea of your relationship, or how youve handled her depression in the past, nor do I know your level of communication. I would say if you still care for her, well regardless actually, treat the situation with respect, definitly do not invite her out if shes just going to be a third wheel, only invite her if you want her there. I only skimmed OP briefly but Id even say if you wanted you probably could get back together.

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I have been what I (and the one friend familiar enough with the situation) would describe as overly sensitive to her needs. Maybe that's not possible in a good relationship, to be overly sensitve, but I would definitely go way out of my way to try to make her happy. It drains on you after a while.

When she started crying in the car she was sitting behind the driver and I in the passenger seat. Her head was turned away from us all and I wasn't 100% sure she was crying until we got back and the friend sitting next to her confirmed. Because of this and my not wanting to start further drama in front of my friends I did ignore her for the 5-10 min car ride home.
I'm off to work but I will be checking throughout the day.

Thanks to anyone that has cared to comment or at least has pretended to.

KungFuManchu · #7 06-11-2007, 04:15 AM

Could you go into more detail on what you fought about, I know you listed a generality, but Im curious how things have been handled.

btw, I went out with a girl for almost 6 years...we got together in high school and broke up about 3 years after HS, while living in New YOrk City. She was going to school there, I was there working on movies and such, but came there with her. We lived together for almsot 4 months post-breakup to finish our lease up because it was crazy expensive. Now that was fun.

chesspain · #8 06-11-2007, 06:32 AM

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S and I have been dating for ~1.5 years. We originally met on a vacation with mutual friends and after hitting it off and dating for 6 months she moved 1,000 miles to live with me in my hometown.

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What kind of "dating" did you do if you lived 1,000 miles apart?

SVTHORD · #9 06-11-2007, 08:10 AM

I flew down there 4 times and she came here 3-4 times. We talked on the phone daily longer than most couples living together speak on a given day. I don't blame the breakup on the long distance relationship as her health issue is what made her hate life here. I'll try to explain the breakup more later. Need to get ready for work now.

I sorta remember what a vehn diagram is but fail to see its usefullness in the situation. What am I diagraming?

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What kind of "dating" did you do if you lived 1,000 miles apart?

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Peter Harris · #10 06-11-2007, 08:22 AM

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I sorta remember what a vehn diagram is but fail to see its usefullness in the situation. What am I diagraming?

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if this was levelling, it'd be great. sadly, it's not.