How Should We Make This Guy Suffer? Slightly Long, with Cliff's Notes

[FoxwoodsFiend]

A friend of Krantz' from college works for an entertainment company in Vegas. He claims to have connections all over the city and says he can find us a juicy high-stakes no-limit game with some total whales. Krantz, whitelime, and I immediately ask him to do it and he tells us a few hours later that he's found a game with 4 total billionaire fish. There's a catch though: they want to play 300-600 NL with a minimum 100k buy-in and they want to play 2 internet players. Or so he says.

As a result of this, the three of us (mostly me, but whatever) spent 2 days calling everyone we know who might want to buy a piece of our action seeing if we could raise 500k. After dozens of text messages and phone calls to raise money, we then spent a day figuring out which two players were going to play, with players backing out and other players getting pissed that they were passed over. We also had to make 3 separate trips to the bank to get cash which is a pain. So long story short, this was a giant pain in the ass.

The whole two days we kept pressing this guy for details and he just insisted that these were 4 wealthy businessmen who wanted to play high stakes against some internet players and didn't give a [censored]. So tonight, after a final dinner between all the investors, we decide to put in Jman28 and flawless (with each of them playing mostly their action and not each other's so that there's no incentive to collude) and we go to the Wynn poker room to meet the fish. Turns out there are only 2 of them so we can't guarantee that only fish will play (because the other two seats will stay open). Then they see Jman28, recognize him from somewhere (maybe the avatars or maybe from a TV show he was on), and realize we're internet players and refuse to play us. The game never goes.

So here's why we hate this guy: first, he was a real prick about his finder's fee and kept demanding the 10k up front so that we wouldn't screw him over, which is obviously very insulting. He also kept jerking us around changing the details, at one point working on getting Phil Ivey and Howard Lederer to play so that he could feel like a hotshot even though we obviously don't want to play them. He also tried getting us to play at the fish's apartment and gave us a hard time for not feeling safe taking 500k to some stranger's place. Every time we asked him for details about who the two guys were he just evaded our questions and in con-man style just told us to trust him and everything would be all right.

TLDR: Douchebag strings us along for 2 days promising us high-stakes game with 4 fish who want to play against young internet players when he was just lying. We waste two days scrounging up 500k and haggling with this guy.

So, what should we do to him? Krantz wants to hire a tranvestite to hang out with us, introduce this guy to the transvestite, and have them go home together. We are open to suggestions: anything that doesn't involve a hitman or physical abuse.