Monte Carlo LV -- An endless list of annoyances

[bav]

While I'm a bit of a poker room gadfly, flitting from room to room, I hadn't been to Monte Carlo but one time like two or three years ago. But they enticed me to return. Well...I must say, I don't think I've been missing much.

The guy at the podium is very very nice, and gets me to a table and clocks me in. Good start. 'Cept they don't have a computer for this so comps are done by scribbling on note cards--a bit backwards but it works.

We start a new NL1/2 table and a kid asks the waitress for RedBull and vodka. She says "we don't have RedBull". Guy says "yes you do, I've been ordering them all day out there at the bar". Waitress says "yes, but you can't get it in the poker room...no energy drinks at all." No impact on me since RB sucks, but really now. Oh, and the cup holders built into the table do NOT fit the glasses they serve beverages in. Try to use the cup holder for the glass and you'll end up with wet wood and felt. (And yes, the tables have that stupid wooden ledge around instead of being felt all the way.)

Someone pulls out a cell phone. HOLY cow you'd think he'd pulled out a loaded .45 auto. Dealer jumps down his throat and makes it clear that if he opens that phone, his hand is instantly killed. Put it away SLOWLY and keep your hands where I can see them... Lots of rooms have anti cellphone rules, but they don't execute you when you violate it. This was repeated multiple times--they are VERY serious about their cell phone prohibition.

Someone pulls open a Cardplayer magazine and within 3 seconds the dealer says "Sir...put that down, we don't allow reading at the table unless it's a racing form." W T F ??? Did I just hear right? Either you don't allow reading, or you do. Either it's bad, or it's not. The content of what you're reading shouldn't matter. Guy says "I'm just looking at the tourney section, I want to play a tourney tonight" and the dealer repeats he CANNOT have that magazine open. This ends up costing MC two customers since this guy and his friend decide they'll go find somewhere else to play that isn't so uptight.

Someone is laughing about something and utters the F-bomb. Yumpin' Yeeminy, he's lucky security didn't tackle him. Dealer scolded him firmly, told him there is *NO* leniency in the enforcement of Rule 9, and one more utterance and he'd be out on his ass.

A neighboring table is down to 5-handed and asks for a reduced rake. Their rule is the jackpot drop must stop and there will be no high hand awards if they reduce the rake. A couple of the players throw a fit over not getting high hand jackpots so the floor refuses to lower the rake. *BLOOOP* one of the last 5 players says "Forget this! I'll play short handed, but I'm not paying full rake to play 5-handed" and walks.

Guy hits quad 9's at our table. And a little celebration begins when we see on the computer screen 9999 is worth $183. He's high-fiving everybody. They come around with the loot and it's $20. "I'm sorry, 9999 was hit earlier today, we just haven't gotten around to resetting the computer." Talk about a buzzkill.

And speaking of that computer display... Does NOBODY who works there even look at what they're doing? The automated display stuff goes between screens about high hand payouts, and tourneys, and whatnot. But the flippin' thing is apparently set to switch to the next screen the instant the last line of the current screen is written. So it line by line puts up "AAAA $20 $20" "KKKK $42 $55" "QQQQ $42 $20" all nice and slow. Then "JJJJ $20 $20" pops up and instantly is erased and it moves to the next screen--it's literally on the screen for a fraction of a second. Ok...I can read one line that fast, but then they do the same thing for entire screen fulls of tourney rules. It puts up some LONG paragraph of text about a tourney and it's on the screen for <1 second. Two dozen long lines and it just flashes up there and disappears.

And they use must moves. Ick.

And the parking situation sucks...they ain't got no parking garage and the tiny little lots they do have fill up.

And the really annoying killer... UTG is kinda hiding his cards (not intentionally) and UTG+1 doesn't notice he still has 'em and calls $2. Next guy calls $2. Next guy calls $2. Fold. Fold. Suddenly UTG tosses $20 in and says RAISE! UTG+1 starts to pull back his $2 and the dealer says "NO SIR! That $2 stays! You can either call or forfit the $2." He protests and the dealer is adamant claiming this is the rule. I figure this is all some silly misunderstanding and ask for the floor... Obviously UTG cannot let 5 people act behind him, and then get to put in a jumbo raise and force a forfit of all the money already in out-of-turn. Floor comes over and just growls "that's right, those bets stay and you can call the raise or forfit the chips". I reiterate that *5* people have acted behind this guy and he nor the dealer did anything to stop it; surely the floor CANNOT be implying that UTG can now raise knowing all this extra information and steal the three $2 limps already in there. Floor just growls that this is the rule and storms away.

So for all you angle shooters, here's the perfect place. You can turn your early position into a late one at anytime by getting the folks behind you to act out of turn. Sit to the right of the dealer and hide your cards when you are in early position. Let the 1-seat act out of turn and silently watch everybody around the table put in $2 Once you see that the whole table wants to limp, THEN proudly announce you were skipped and you are raising! All those folks are now stuck with their money in the pot, and it's perfectly legal and acceptable at Monte Carlo.

Mind you, it wasn't all bad. Most of the staff were pleasant, the players were fine, and 19 out of 20 hands went off without incident. But I surely do see why they're having to resort to a jumbo freeroll tournament to try to get people to play.