Emotional Affairs

[Blarg]

Have you been withholding toes? I thought toes were part of the deal?

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought I had entered into the twilight zone for a minute there. I'm surprised none of the lounge ladies have noted any absurdity in their sex being described as essentially automatons without an operative will of their own. I'm even surprised few of the men posed any objection.


[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe no one objected because it is just so absurd to describe our entire sex as automatons. So absurd as to almost not require a response.


Cobretti wrote this:

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I sparked attraction and it was simply "on". I bet she didn't even realize that she was following me inside as there wouldn't have been time for her to think,"hmmmm, I like that guy over there but I am with my boyfriend. It would be wrong to go after that other guy. Gosh, I have an ethical dilemma. What to do. What to do...." Instead, her body just picked her up and took her inside. It was purely instinctual. DeAngelo talks at length about this. I wish I could remember his exact discussion but it was basically that you want to do things that bypass a woman's rational mind so that her emotional/instinctual mind takes over. That is where a woman will do things that she normally would not.

[/ QUOTE ]


I can't speak for the other girls but I sort of thought Cobretti might be imagining some of this or might have missed some important cues. I mean perhaps he wanted the girl and truly believed his chemistry got her to stand up and follow him into the cafe. But in reality maybe she just had to go to the bathroom. I don't know. I suspect most of us women would roll our eyes if Cobretti tried to convince us that he could hypnotize us this easily.

OF COURSE WOMEN AREN'T AUTOMATONS BLARG (what a word [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]). If men really think that we are so easily manipulated and coerced then I would suggest they give it a try. They will quickly find out that women have a mind of their own. We may love the way you guys smell and your big shoulders and smooth voice and gorgeous penetrating blue eyes but hey we are not always easy. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[daveT]

Wow Katy, rage on!!!!!

If you ladies were so darn easy, Cobretti wouldn't need to read a book. It says a lot about our culture that a book like that is a bestseller.

Women are so easy that you inspire poetry of yearning in men and stupid ballad love songs.

Like "Hell hath no fury...."
Or "Women are like the weather."

For whatever odd reason, men feel tons of mystery (and dismay) about women. For some it is hard to relate to you at all, so it is easier to dehumanize and objectify you so that there is some logic to you.

So: "A woman is useless."
"Women are dumb"
"That's women's work."

Wow, this thread really opened my eyes. It is retarded. The evidence surrounds me and I never really noticed. Single guys, porn magazines. I never was into going to strip clubs. I always thought that guys that go there hated women. While I always thought I understood this psychology, I was way wrong.

I just realized that I used "objectify," a word that never had any meaning to me.

I feel old now.

And Katy, you should be proud to be a woman. I cant imagine how you feel reading some of this stuff if it got me riled up and I am a dude. I am surprised that you kept composure and just focused on toes.... Than again, maybe women are sexual automatons. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[Cobretti]

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe no one objected because it is just so absurd to describe our entire sex as automatons. So absurd as to almost not require a response.

[/ QUOTE ]Oh come on. We spend most of our lives in automation. Almost everything we do is without thinking or rational thought. If you disagree, please post you exact thought process for making the post you just did. Please tell post the pros and cons you weighed before you made the post. Why did you make this post in the first place? What need were you fulfilling? What value did you get out of it? I would bet my life that there was no such thought process. You simply posted.

[ QUOTE ]
I mean perhaps he wanted the girl and truly believed his chemistry got her to stand up and follow him into the cafe. But in reality maybe she just had to go to the bathroom. I don't know. I suspect most of us women would roll our eyes if Cobretti tried to convince us that he could hypnotize us this easily.

[/ QUOTE ]I would write it off as an isolated incident if it was isolated. I have no special mojo but strong seductive eye contact is a killer. 2 days later I made out with a married woman on a dance floor that I hadn't even spoken to before but who I had made strong eye contact with. About 2 months ago I was sitting in a restaurant with a girl and the waitress kept staring at me. The girl I was with was pissed and said, "why the hell does she keep staring at you every time she walks by". I said, "because when she first came to the table I caught her eye and when I did I held her there for a moment". The girl said, "oh, yeah. That will get us every time". The eyes are incredibly powerful. I worked very hard on my eye contact as it did not come naturally to me and I used to be horrible with it. Yes, you can seduce a woman with just your eyes.

[ QUOTE ]
If men really think that we are so easily manipulated and coerced then I would suggest they give it a try. They will quickly find out that women have a mind of their own. We may love the way you guys smell and your big shoulders and smooth voice and gorgeous penetrating blue eyes but hey we are not always easy.

[/ QUOTE ]People are so easily manipulated. Lets not pretend otherwise. There are a million examples and I can point some out if you want me to.

But, to call it manipulation is misguided. It is simply treating a woman how she wants to be treated. The reason it works is because it is what a woman wants. Most women do not want a guy that is nice and respectable and that treats them well and who wants to engage the woman in deep intellectual conversation. It bores the crap out of them. Women want men who are challenging, mysterious, adventurous, exciting, and of high social value. It doesn't matter the nature of the relationship. It is the type of man women will want to hang out with.

I have put you challenge to the test twice. There were two girls that I have been involved with that knew I worked on this stuff. They both called b.s. They were both attracted to me but neither believed it was a result of all this phony game stuff (but of course it was). So, I challenged each of them (at different times). I told them that over the next week I would game them 3 times and that each time I did it would spark attraction and that they won't be aware I was doing it. I won both times even though they were on high alert.

[Cobretti]

Note - This stuff isn't some crazy ass theory of mine. In fact, I don't have an original thought on the subject. I just practice it. Again, there is a whole industry and a TV show dedicated to it. Also, It was or will be on Dr. Phil (with the segment called "women beware!").

[tarheeljks]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Maybe no one objected because it is just so absurd to describe our entire sex as automatons. So absurd as to almost not require a response.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh come on. We spend most of our lives in automation. Almost everything we do is without thinking or rational thought. If you disagree, please post you exact thought process for making the post you just did. Please tell post the pros and cons you weighed before you made the post. Why did you make this post in the first place? What need were you fulfilling? What value did you get out of it? I would bet my life that there was no such thought process. You simply posted.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

why do you believe such a thought process is so farfetched? perhaps you're projecting your own m.o. on katy?

[ QUOTE ]
I mean perhaps he wanted the girl and truly believed his chemistry got her to stand up and follow him into the cafe. But in reality maybe she just had to go to the bathroom. I don't know. I suspect most of us women would roll our eyes if Cobretti tried to convince us that he could hypnotize us this easily.

[/ QUOTE ]I would write it off as an isolated incident if it was isolated. I have no special mojo but strong seductive eye contact is a killer. 2 days later I made out with a married woman on a dance floor that I hadn't even spoken to before but who I had made strong eye contact with. About 2 months ago I was sitting in a restaurant with a girl and the waitress kept staring at me. The girl I was with was pissed and said, "why the hell does she keep staring at you every time she walks by". I said, "because when she first came to the table I caught her eye and when I did I held her there for a moment". The girl said, "oh, yeah. That will get us every time". The eyes are incredibly powerful. I worked very hard on my eye contact as it did not come naturally to me and I used to be horrible with it. Yes, you can seduce a woman with just your eyes.

[/ QUOTE ]

people believe what they want and are very good at finding patterns in unrelated events.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If men really think that we are so easily manipulated and coerced then I would suggest they give it a try. They will quickly find out that women have a mind of their own. We may love the way you guys smell and your big shoulders and smooth voice and gorgeous penetrating blue eyes but hey we are not always easy.

[/ QUOTE ]People are so easily manipulated. Lets not pretend otherwise. There are a million examples and I can point some out if you want me to.

[/ QUOTE ]

But, to call it manipulation is misguided. It is simply treating a woman how she wants to be treated. The reason it works is because it is what a woman wants. Most women do not want a guy that is nice and respectable and that treats them well and who wants to engage the woman in deep intellectual conversation. It bores the crap out of them. Women want men who are challenging, mysterious, adventurous, exciting, and of high social value. It doesn't matter the nature of the relationship. It is the type of man women will want to hang out with.

reading that tilted me heavily. that is ~the 10th time i've heard/read that today. since when does not treating someone well mean the same thing as being mysterious and exciting. you don't have to be an [censored] to be have edge. what self respecting person enjoys being treated poorly? who is responsible for this mindset?

[ QUOTE ]
I have put you challenge to the test twice. There were two girls that I have been involved with that knew I worked on this stuff. They both called b.s. They were both attracted to me but neither believed it was a result of all this phony game stuff (but of course it was). So, I challenged each of them (at different times). I told them that over the next week I would game them 3 times and that each time I did it would spark attraction and that they won't be aware I was doing it. I won both times even though they were on high alert.

[/ QUOTE ]

i think you are a little too high on yourself.

edit: and i think you are grossly underestimating women

[Cobretti]

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i think you are a little too high on yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]No, I am just an average guy who used to have an average amount of success with women. I wasn't happy with it so I practiced a lot and got much better. So, I am not high on myself but I like the skills I have acquired and they have a good track record.

Here are two articles on eye contact:

Killer Eye Contact Can Get Her to Approach you - article
The Importance of Eye Contact - article There is a nice little eye contact clip from 9 1/2 weeks

[ QUOTE ]
reading that tilted me heavily. that is ~the 10th time i've heard/read that today. since when does not treating someone well mean the same thing as being mysterious and exciting. you don't have to be an [censored] to be have edge. what self respecting person enjoys being treated poorly? who is responsible for this mindset?

[/ QUOTE ]It is hard to explain. It is not treating them poorly. It is treating them the way they want to be treated, which is actually respectful when done right. It isn't about being some ahole. It is about being challenging. DeAngelo calls it Cocky Funny.

It works like magic. I have a close friend that is really "respectful" to women. He was married but had always been terrible with women. I was explaining to him how to bust on a woman. He said, "no way, it would never work and I couldn't be mean like that". I told him that women love it but he just couldn't see it. So, I told him that I would innocently demonstrate on his wife if he was cool with it. He was and later that day we were at his house and his wife came in. I was busting on her in front of her husband and she totally got into it and had the biggest grin. Now, it was innocent but my friend completely agreed that it triggered a favorable and strong response in her.

You don't have to believe me and I am sure you won't. There was a time that I wouldn't have believed me. The first time I tried it I thought I was going to get slapped. I was shocked when it worked.

I just keep thinking about the concept of how dangerous I think these "cool" relationships can be and how some don't see the danger. I keep coming back to the same thought - if you don't see the danger then you likely have some serious flaws in your general ability to spark attraction in women. That may not be true but I can't come up with another explanation why a man doesn't see the danger.

[tarheeljks]

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I just keep thinking about the concept of how dangerous I think these "cool" relationships can be and how some don't see the danger.

[/ QUOTE ]

what? the risk involved in extra curricular relationships is the entire point of this thread.


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I keep coming back to the same thought - if you don't see the danger then you likely have some serious flaws in your general ability to spark attraction in women. That may not be true but I can't come up with another explanation why a man doesn't see the danger.

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how is this relevant? glad you found success, but let's not make this a personal.

[Cobretti]

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what? the risk involved in extra curricular relationships is the entire point of this thread.

[/ QUOTE ]yes. I originally claimed that these things were very dangerous and some disagreed with me and took me to task for my opinion.

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how is this relevant? glad you found success, but let's not make this a personal.

[/ QUOTE ]Sorry, it wasn't meant to be personal. I was simply baffled that some don't see the dangers so I was searching for an answer because it is so counter to my experience and counter to what I have read and learned. I was trying to envision the encounters of others where it doesn't escalate and my past experiences when the encounters didn't escalate. My apologies again if I offended anyone.

[katyseagull]

You didn't offend me Cobretti. I know this isn't just stuff you made up on your own. Actually, it's weird you bring up the eye contact thing. We have this friend who I see from time to time. He's a pretty interesting guy...confident, really smart, kind of mysterious. Anyway he does this eye thing. He stares at me in sort of an intimate way sometimes. Not like a painfully long stare, more of a penetrating glance. It's intense. Anyway, it's like the main thing that I associate with this guy. (Well that and his calm soothing voice.)

After reading through your posts I got to thinking DAMN, my friend has been reading the same books Cobretti has been reading. What you have described in your posts is so dead on like my friend's behavior. Haha! I'm convinced now that his cool mannerisms and eye thing are calculated. I have to admit he's quite the player. (omg i wonder if you are him.)