things a customer service rep said that pissed you off

[AmadisSB]

I had called my insurance company to see how much it was to insure my laptop, as I will be using it as a travel for the next little bit.

I get a great service rep that say "why dont you just use the computer at the hotel?"

I tell her that I have important files on my laptop and that I didnt buy one to leave at home.

After being not helpful, she again says, "I just dont see why you can't use the hotels public computers"

Great help.

Anyone else have some good service stories?

[Artdogg]

pretty much everything other than "what can i do for you?"

[youtalkfunny]

Any time I hear someone in a customer service position start a sentence with "You have to..."

Even if they're telling me that the deal can't be done unless I do something, like fill out a form ("You have to fill one of these out..."), there's a better way of telling a customer this without sounding like you're barking an order ("If you could please fill this out...").

I work in a poker room. Players will often ask me things like, "Do I have to post a blind?", or "Do I have to put my name on a list?" My response is always, "I'll never tell you that you 'have to' do anything."

(I know OOT is a poker-free zone, but since I work in poker, I can only give poker examples, so sue me.)

Another one I love, since I work in a casino, is when someone gets on the PA and tells a customer to "report" somewhere. "Joe W, please report to the poker room, your Omaha seat is available." "Attention players: Miss Wanda Davis, please report to the security desk. Wanda Davis, please report to the security desk."

I'm the bloody customer, I don't report to you!

[yoshi86]

My phone is messed up so I went to verizon to see if I could cancel just my line without paying the contract cancellation fee (there's this cingular phone that I want to get). I share the family plan under my mom's name.

CS tells me that he cannot give me a yes or no answer even though I pay the phone bill and have full access to the account.

[smk67]

Last night I was watch shopping for my fiancee. So I went to just about every store in the mall seeing if I could find a good deal. I end up in the Bonton. I don't exactly know how common the store is, but its like a crappy sears.

I am checking out their jewelery, which is in the usual case. There was nobody working there though. I saw a girl doing inventory on the floor nearby, so I waited 10 minutes before I had to approach her. I asked if I could see a few watches, her response was "you may only look at one at a time". I could see she was great at dealing with customers. So we walk over to the watches, I get the first watch I wanted to look at. As she hands it to me she says "we do not accept damaged watches on return, we do not resize or change batteries and I will write this on the receipt so you don't forget". So I just handed her the watch and walked away. I would imagine she would have been fired on the spot if a manager saw her saying things like that...

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Last night I was watch shopping for my fiancee. So I went to just about every store in the mall seeing if I could find a good deal. I end up in the Bonton. I don't exactly know how common the store is, but its like a crappy sears.

I am checking out their jewelery, which is in the usual case. There was nobody working there though. I saw a girl doing inventory on the floor nearby, so I waited 10 minutes before I had to approach her. I asked if I could see a few watches, her response was "you may only look at one at a time". I could see she was great at dealing with customers. So we walk over to the watches, I get the first watch I wanted to look at. As she hands it to me she says "we do not accept damaged watches on return, we do not resize or change batteries and I will write this on the receipt so you don't forget". So I just handed her the watch and walked away. I would imagine she would have been fired on the spot if a manager saw her saying things like that...

[/ QUOTE ]

Has anyone ever been fired "on the spot?" It's one of those things that I see in movies but is too absurd to happen in the real world.

I'd imagine that a manager is who told her to say exactly what she said anyhow, so firing her for it wouldn't make sense.

[KilgoreTrout]

Used to have Verizon mobile service. I took their freebie phone when I signed up, had the service for three years, then the display screen on the phone failed. I called Verizon to ask for a replacement.

The rep started listing phones in the $200 range. I said, "no, I want another free one, just like the new customers get."

She said, "that's only a benefit to new customers."

I said, "May I speak to your supervisor."

She said, "Sir, he's not going to give you a new phome because you're an existing customer. That's the rule."

I then asked to discontinue my service. She said that would cost me $275 to terminate, even though my original contract was just for one year. Now I was getting peeved, so I asked for the name of the regional VP. She refused to give it to me and said that I was being petty.

After several minutes of bickering, I complained to her that I was paying for service that I was not receiving due to the bad phone. She said, "Well, sir, you get what you pay for. The free phones just don't last as long as the good phones." I was incensed. I asked her whether I was getting what I paid for given three years of paying for Verizon service, and hung up.

I found the name and address of the regional VP and sent a nasty letter. Within a week I had a new phone and a free year of service, after which I cancelled my Verizon account.

[ESnow]

I [censored] hate it when I get an automated system that asks you to speak into the phone and then when it doesn't correctly interpret you it says "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, please repeat."

YOU'RE A MACHINE.
YOU CANNOT BE SORRY.

[sonneti]

I walk up to the counter at an movie rental place and I ask for the movie "dumb and dumber". She says ok, sticks the dvd in the box and hands it to me, just as I hand her the money I notice its not "dumb and dumber".... its the [censored] sequel "dumb and dumberer". I tell her politely that this is the wrong movie & ask her to change it for me... she says SORRY WE DONT DO REFUNDS.

So I flip out.. I screaming and shouting, throwing dvd's everywhere... I throw one DVD box at her and it cracks her right in the face.. blood pours everywhere.. "You [censored] bitch, I'll [censored] kill you".. then some guy appears with a baseball bat and hits me full swing on the head. I get knocked out instantly... I wake up and im tied to a chair, I look a round and who do I see tied to a chair beside me? [censored] Bruce Willis!!

[RoundGuy]

Not a pissed story, but a funny one.

I live in Iowa, and was calling a service center on the East coast. After some preliminary conversation:

Her: So, you live in Iowa. Do you live on a farm with cows and pigs and corn and stuff?
Me: Yep, we pretty much all do.
Her: That's what I thought.
Me: Yeah, we don't even have push-button phones.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: We just have those old fashioned rotary dial phones.
Her: Really? I've never even see one of those!

(more basic stuff)

Her: You know, you could have done all this online.
Me: We don't have computers in Iowa.
Her: Wow! I feel so sorry for you.

I about died.