Professional Poker player looking for Assistant

[kid canepa]

My friend and I are looking for a Personal Assistant. Here was the ad on Craigs List:

I have a serious disease..... I hate cooking, cleaning, shopping, scheduling appointments, basically anything that requires any amount of effort and thought id rather have someone do it for me. I am 21 years old i work at home for a living as a professional poker player. I have two useless roommates who go to SDSU who are graduating sometimes this year not really sure when, they aren't really relevant anyways. Id like to hire someone to basically do everything i don't want to do..... i might call you and say "can you go pick me up some food from rubios" or "i want some new clothes go get me some" I travel part of the year at random times to random places for poker so i'm not always around. But i need someone with a flexible schedule who can do these types of tasks for me. I have a few requirements and these are non-negotiable.

Requirements....
1. You must be female
2. You must be competent
3. How do i say you cant be ugly in a nice way?
4. 18-25 years old
5. trustworthy
6. easy going
7. hard working
8. Good Cook
9. Like to shop
10. Will come here in the morning and cook breakfast a few times a week.
11. Must live within 15 minutes from Mission valley.

The pay would be on par with the service...... I am willing to pay anywhere from 200-500 dollars per week for your services based on the level of service, but for the maximum you'd have to be the best assistant ever.......come everyday to cook breakfast, clean vacuuum ect..., run errands, answer your phone for random requests. I will not require your services every single week i will let you know in advance when your services will be needed.

I am very laid back, easy going and understandable, i wont treat you like an employee just a friend who helps me out. I honestly wont need much done you'd probably be working like 8 hours a week max. I will pay you cash so its not taxed. If i tell you to get me food and you want some to its on my tab. We can basically work something out so that both parties feel is fair.

If this is a job that interests you feel free to contact me and we can talk about it in further detail.

[Dan87]

you forgot to add the footnote:

If I have a huge losing day I am liabel to throw various objects at you and in a drunken rage sexually attack you.

[NickyC]

lolllllllllll

[Steel]

lol'd so hard

[ConspirEDD]

[ QUOTE ]
you forgot to add the footnote:

If I have a huge losing day I am liabel to throw various objects at you and in a drunken rage sexually attack you.

[/ QUOTE ]

edit: redacted. mis-read this post @ it's much better

[inyourface]

Is this your previous employee, or were you just 'friends' with him too?




Nice photobucket account by the way

[DesertCat]

[ QUOTE ]
I will pay you cash so its not taxed. .

[/ QUOTE ]

I always wonder if the IRS has an audit patrol for internet sites looking for tax evaders? Or do they just count on someone (embittered ex-assistants) tipping them off?

[rocketsfan4lyfe]

this is called slavery

oh yeah, does the female have to be hot?

[Jackal69]

yep there are definitely lots of people who fit that description surfing 2p2...

[JJoseph]

Where do you play in San Diego?