HUGE tilt loss

greg nice · #1 08-03-2007, 04:12 PM

basically almost went busto the other night. took a shot at a good nosebleed game, made some bad decisions, ran poorly, played HU to try to recoup, lost even more. so dejected right now that ive lost interest in the game.

i guess what im asking is, how do i deal with the fact that online poker isnt indefinite, and i spent a lot of time grinding the money out of the fish, only to tilt give it all away to some shark in a night of blunder. we're talking over 6 figs here so its not like i took some guys mcdonalds paycheck. in the scheme of the poker ecosystem, i had syphoned a lot of money out, and now its gone and unavailable for the taking any more

that outlook is whats keeping me from diving right back in and trying to grind it back. its like, why bother when theres so little money avail for taking

chesspain · #2 08-03-2007, 04:35 PM

[ QUOTE ]
"...why bother when theres so little money avail for taking.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you should be thinking instead "Why bother when I'm capable of destroying my bankroll by playing like a degenerate gambler?"

greg nice · #3 08-03-2007, 04:45 PM

thats the next issue but first i have to get back in the action

Lucky · #4 08-03-2007, 04:56 PM

sorry to hear that.

In terms of coming back, even though games are tougher, there's obviously a level you can beat consistently and probably a level just below that you destroy. And I'm guessing both of these levels would make you a nice middle-upper middle class paycheck.

The key is to play in those games. Once you learn poker and begin to approach your potential, thats the whole deal, just playing right games.

How to do that? Well, you need to put your ego aside first of all. If you walk around like joe big shot, you'll have a hard time dropping back down. Next, you need to actually value the smaller money, that can also be tough. Maybe do some minimum wage temp work, I don't know.

Praxising · #5 08-03-2007, 04:57 PM

I have to congratulate you, Greg. When seized by an impulse of self-directed rage, instead of getting drunk and wrapping yourself around a tree, or some other guy on the road, you just donked off a massive amount of money that wasn't even yours, yet. (I never consider online money mine until it's in my bank account.) So, you choose a creative and essentially non-destructive way of killing yourself. This is a GOOD thing. Seriously.

I don't know why people have this trait - not a shrink or anything. I do know it can be related to bipolar disorder, I know it can be from crapola in your background. There's plenty of bankroll management advice - but I think you know it all, already. Therapy might be useful for you. Tell you what though - you have hope. You even have surety. You know something: if you choose to, you can get it back.

So - hmmmmmm. Maybe not a very useful thing until you do what I have heard so many poker pros talk about: give yourself permission to win. Figure out why you keep shooting yourself in the foot and try, scary tho' it is, to succeed. Decide it's ok - you deserve to have success as much as anyone. I've heard this from everyone from Phil Gordon to Johnny Chan to Daniel Negreanu.

How many final tables have you seen where as soon as it starts, some guy with a nice stack just donks it off and gets eliminated? This is a pretty common issue. Women do this by marrying as****** who beat the crap out of them. Guys do it by getting arrested, overdosing, losing job after job or going through millions in their lifetime.

You can fix this. Cymbalta works, sometimes. You'll figure it out.

Praxising · #6 08-03-2007, 04:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
thats the next issue but first i have to get back in the action

[/ QUOTE ]

No. This is first - or action is worthless.

GL

greg nice · #7 08-03-2007, 05:12 PM

Lucky,
thanks and yea i partly agree. i usually do play the limits that i have a big edge in. however i think that controlled shots at good games are good and feasible. problem for me was, the shot went bad, "omg i just lost $40k, i need to make this back ASAP" -> proceed to raise every hand -> "man im playin like maniac now, ppl bound to play back" -> call off stacks way too light -> lost half a house

Prax,
interesting. its like this trait came out of nowhere, too. when i was grinding my way up the stakes it was so important not to go broke and lose even a small bit. i knew all the br management cliches. nowadays im having huge swings.

i dont understand why i would need to permit myself to win. i mean i already win, ive still netted a modest amount from poker. ill have to explore that, that maybe there is some part of me that wants to fail or sabotage things.

cymbalta? drugs are not the answer. they fix the symptoms, not the cause

oddsock · #8 08-03-2007, 08:01 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Lucky,
, "omg i just lost $40k, i need to make this back ASAP"

[/ QUOTE ]

that says it all. however good you are, whatever stakes you play at i truly believe the most difficult part of the game is dealing with the seething anger, adrenaline overload and total mind collapse of these situations. and it's also the part of the game most assimilated with true gambling - you can beat the opponents but you can't always beat your own mind.

the fact that you said it came out of nowhere is what fascinates me here. what was different about that session from previous losing sessions?

bkholdem · #9 08-03-2007, 11:20 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Lucky,
thanks and yea i partly agree. i usually do play the limits that i have a big edge in. however i think that controlled shots at good games are good and feasible. problem for me was, the shot went bad, "omg i just lost $40k, i need to make this back ASAP" -> proceed to raise every hand -> "man im playin like maniac now, ppl bound to play back" -> call off stacks way too light -> lost half a house

[/ QUOTE ]

Learn your lesson. It would seem that you can't take a shot and then walk if it 'goes bad'. It was as if once the shot went bad you were not 'talking a shot' anymore, you were playing those stakes. And worse than that playing bad.

Chasing losses etc is degen behavior and I think you know this. If you can't walk after getting stung from taking a shot, and can not easily replace the money, don't take shots! You don't have the disposition for it.

If I take a shot and loose I get sick to my stomach, but then I walk.

Learn from this and it's all good. YOu can't undo it but you can learn from it. Give it time before you decide to quit poker, your not in the psychological state to make rational decisions right now.

Albert Moulton · #10 08-03-2007, 11:51 PM

Play at a level you're bankrolled at.

If you lost a bunch and have a lower br, then either play at the lower level, or don't play.

br-management is part of the game. You know it.

Whatever you do, don't play underrolled. Don't play if you can't play at a level your br'ed for.