Home Game Post

[Rottersod]

A coworker invited me to his home game today and I figured I'd give it a try in the hopes that it would be a suitable replacement for the great game that broke up late last year. He told me it would be $200 NLHE and that there are usually 6 regulars and I would be the 7th and that it as a comfortable game and the players were OK but not great. They all knew basics with some being quicker than others. I figured what the hey and gave it a shot.

So I arrive and first thing I notice is that the home is an effing mansion. I'm talking about 26 rooms with 2 pools type of mansion and I am feeling a bit intimidated as I walk through the portal (not door mind you but portal). I'm thinking to myself that this could be a very profitable game. I meet the players who are already there and counting out stacks and I get a sinking feeling. Except for my colleague I'm the youngest in the room by about 2 decades and I'm middle age. I can already feel the lifeblood drain out of me as I realize that I am going to be in for hours of nits on parade.

So I buy in for $200, count and stack my chips, draw my card for dealer button and get UTG+1. UTG folds and I have KJs and I want to get a feel for the game so I put out a raise to $12 and I get 6 guys shouting at me that it's limit!. Whaaaaat? I look right at my !@#$% colleague and tell him he told me it's No Limit and he answers "yeah..I made a mistake but figured you'd like the game anyways." I'm staring at him with my mouth wide open and must have looked like a fish gasping on a hook as I contemplate spending the rest of eternity playing low limit poker with a bunch of old guys with golf caps. So I get up to wash my face and cool down and figure an exit strategy. I tell them that I only play NL and PLO and that I'd stay for an hour but that I was leaving after that. And I stayed for exactly one hour, through 8 hands, with each hand lasting almost 10 minutes as these guys had no concentration and complained about every single thing. Every hand ended with each player trying to out slow roll the others and then one player would retrieve his cards from the muck and put them up on the board to show that he would have made the nuts if he hadn't folded pre-flop. Aaaargh.

I drove home with the CD player blaring and me thinking homicidal thoughts to the geezers and planning my revenge on my soon to be begging for mercy coworker. As I came storming through our front door my girlfriend took me in her arms and told me that he had called her after I left and told her what happened and that he thought I was going to have an aneurysm. An hour later and she had made the world right again.

But I'm still going to be locking every computer account, changing every password, removing every shred of access rights, corrupting every one of his SQL databases and deleting every email of my colleague this coming week.