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Old 11-30-2007, 12:16 PM
AZK AZK is offline
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Default Child Raising - Discipline issues

This is coming up because we just started a psych. unit in medical school, but I started discussing this with several colleagues/friends and was kinda of interested by the results.

So, like most boys, I was often punished as a kid for doing retarded [censored]. Totally reasonable, yet out of all my friends, I was the only one that was hit my parents when I stepped out of line. By hit, I mean, my father either smacked me on my ass, and I can only remmeber 3 times when he hit me in the face. These were not beatings. No belt or any other object was used. I didn't suffer any permanent brain damage (or so I assume). I haven't grown up using violence to solve my problems and I don't really buy into the whole people raised with violence in the household are more violent than others. I am not a violent person.

My friends are floored. They cannot believe my parents raised me this way and disagree with it very strongly. I don't think any of us were raised particuarly better or worse than each other, but we are all in the same environment, so it's not an accurate representation of child rearing.

They asked if I would hit my kids if they stepped out of line, and my instinct was "probably." They also flipped out about this, it's probably because how I was raised. So it seems natural. I don't know whether it's important or not (it definitely isn't now) but I remember being the most well-behaved kid compared to my peers when I was little. I frequently remember my parents getting compliments from other parents.

Totally random side note: My parents also frequently did the good cop/bad cop routine, but this was pretty unintentional, my mom was a total pushover, my dad was the hard ass. Ironically (not so ironic?) I am closer with my dad and more trusting and have better time discussing difficult issues. It could just be a function of overlapping interests in life and outlooks.


So.....

1) Were you spanked as a kid?

2) Do you spank your kids?

3) Additional thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:21 PM
RunDownHouse RunDownHouse is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I was spanked and experienced the gamut, from hand to spoon to belt. I was never hit in the face, but I was once thrown across a room.

Don't have kids, but like you my thought is I probably will spank them, although I think it will be used more sparingly than I got it. I was also really well-behaved as a kid, maybe too much so.
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  #3  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:36 PM
By-Tor By-Tor is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

kids these days are soft. i'm going with dr. denis leary on this one...

[ QUOTE ]
I am sick and tired of hearing that [censored] speech. You know? These people come out of rehab they always have the same story. "Well you know, I became an alcoholic because my parents didn't love me enough. And then I became a junkie because my parents didn't love me enough. And I went into hypnosis and therapy and I found out that parents used to hit me."
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Hey! My parents used to beat the living [censored] out of me! Ok? And looking back on it, I'm glad they did! And I'm looking forward to beating the [censored] out of my kids, aren't you? For no reason whatsoever.
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*thbbt* "What'd you hit me for?"
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"Shutup and get out there and mow the lawn for Christs sake!"
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There's therapy for ya! Mowing the lawn and crying at the same time.
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"The Leary kids in therapy again. Their lawn looks great, it's unbelieveable!"

[/ QUOTE ]
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  #4  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:38 PM
AZK AZK is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

ha...i vaguely remember this, i think he went off about it on rescue me as well...he is [censored] great. too bad the last season of rescue me sucked a fat one.
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  #5  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:44 PM
MissT74 MissT74 is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

Another great question to ask would be how old are you?

I'm 33 and we were raised with the belt. It wasn't socially unacceptable, it was the "norm". Now a days, or even if you're in your teens, I can't see many people answering "Yes".

I have a 15 year old daughter and she was raised with spanking, by the hand. Even though I was raised with the belt and I believe it made me a better person, who I am today, I could never stand the thought of hitting her with a belt, but the hand was absolutely allowed.

The last time I hit her was when she was about 6-7 years old, said something VERY off the wall and disrespectful to me so I open hand popped her in the mouth. I think she was more shocked that I had done that then it acutally hurting, and proceeded to cry because she couldn't believe that Mommy had hurt her. (We LOL about it now)

T
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  #6  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:46 PM
AZK AZK is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I'm 24. I remember the first time my dad hit me in the face because like you said, I was totally floored that he just reached across the table and slapped me. It hurt, but the same way a slap does and then goes away, it was more the shock that really jolted me. I was probably 12 or something.
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  #7  
Old 11-30-2007, 12:58 PM
BeerMoney BeerMoney is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues


I'm all for disciplining kids. I was scared to death of my dad, but he never hit me. Guess the fear was worse. My mother hit me, but I think there's a difference in being hit by mom, and being hit by dad. When mom hits you, its not gonna be fun, but you'll be ok. Dad's a different story.

Overall, I think hitting kids is unnecessary.. Maybe early on its ok.. Once they get past 6 or 7, something else is necessary. Personally, I don't really even like hitting my dogs.
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  #8  
Old 11-30-2007, 01:13 PM
astroglide astroglide is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

[ QUOTE ]
My friends are floored. They cannot believe my parents raised me this way

[/ QUOTE ]

a shock response really blows my mind, and i have to think that these people are out of touch. people still hit their kids.
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  #9  
Old 11-30-2007, 01:56 PM
JackInDaCrak JackInDaCrak is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I was swatted upside the head or on the ass several times, and I came out allright, so far.
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  #10  
Old 11-30-2007, 02:09 PM
cookieb cookieb is offline
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Default Re: Child Raising - Discipline issues

I was spanked, occasionally with a belt or switch, and I still wonder why. My brother, sister, and I were really good kids, no problems of any note through high school. I certainly don't hold anything against my mother and father, they were incredible but I think they spanked just because they thought they were supposed to. (I am 32 btw)

I will try not to spank my daughter, mostly because I would probably be doing it out of anger instead of as a teaching point. If you are spanking out of anger it is definitely a parenting problem, imo.
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