Ask tuq.

[Mike Haven]

Everything you ever wanted to know ATF, but were too afraid to ask.

Now you can ask tuq.

If it's simple, tuq can help YOU.

And you can be certain that coming from a mind like tuq's, the answer will be simple, too.

[stabn]

how much tuq could a wood tuq chuck if a wood tuq could chuck wood.

[Wires]

[ QUOTE ]
how much tuq could a wood tuq chuck if a wood tuq could chuck wood.

[/ QUOTE ]

A wood tup would tuk as much wood as a wood tuq could tub if a wood tuj could tug wood.


Would you care to elaborate, tuc?

[holdme]

whats ur fav color

[RoundGuy]

ATF questions simple here go all.

[tuq]

cabn,

7.2

holdme,

Don't have one.

[Phil153]

tug,

I've always admired and/or been slightly aroused by you.

How did you become like you are? i.e. what is the story of tug.

thank you.

[tuq]

Ban for ignoring his own Ask Me thread IMO.

[ QUOTE ]
tug,

I've always admired and/or been slightly aroused by you.

How did you become like you are? i.e. what is the story of tug.

thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]
The details of my life are quite inconsequential:

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like how he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

[tuq]

Best I can do is answer these bison-like. If the answers aren't funny or accurate it's a function of me being neither funny nor smart.

tuq,

Where is Stuey?

Canada

tug,

Where is PDPG?

Good question. After making his 9,999th post three months ago, he just stopped posting. Maybe he's overthinking the 10K post thing a little.

So I must know, does the pronunciation of "gyro" depend on its usage, or is it always pronounced the same way?

I think Bobo got this one a long time ago. How can it be anything but "year-row"? Maybe it's something else somewhere else.

Wouldn't having black friends be evidence against somebody being a racist?

Not if the black friends are supplying you with hookers and blow. I think even Mark Fuhrman would make an exception.

When you think of me, what do you picture?

I don't think of you, sry.

Do you consider yourself a good listener or do you often think you'd rather be doing something else?

Pretending to listen is an important skill IMO, particularly for the ADD challenged such as myself.

Could you tell me what you do for a living/income?

Technical recruiting / gigolo for women with low expectations.

Was it the mending of the gown, or the running it around?

It was the tender mending of this slender gown that brought me bending to the ground, IMO.

what does your title mean?

It's something from an ATF thread from over a year ago now. Can't remember the exact context to be honest.

how come you said you would call the next day, but didn't?

I found someone else at a 7-11 on the way home, sry.

is it possible that Tuq could make cheese fries so delicious that even He could not resist them?

Catch-22. If I'm making them it's unlikely I'm going to be able to resist them. Actually, I'm not sure that's really a Catch-22, it's just a Challenging Situation.

And yes, I was golfing. 86 degrees today suckaz.

[ClassicBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Ban for ignoring his own Ask Me thread IMO.

[ QUOTE ]
tug,

I've always admired and/or been slightly aroused by you.

How did you become like you are? i.e. what is the story of tug.

thank you.

[/ QUOTE ]
The details of my life are quite inconsequential:

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like how he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ban for quoting Austin Powers