post the nerdiest joke you know

[GambleGamble]

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A dairy company wishing to up milk production and hiring a chemist, an engineer, and a physicist to each come up with plans. After six months a meeting is held where the results of their individual reseraches are to be presented to the company's board of directors.

The chemist presents his results. He has come up with an feed additive that results in both a 6% increase in milk output as well as milk that lasts 8% longer before spoilage.

Next the engineer presents his design modifications of the milking machine, which can milk cows at a 7% higher rate than previous designs, and also reduces teat chaffing, leading to less agitated, and hence more productive cows.

Lastly, the physicist wheels in a large blank chalkboard, upon which he draws a large circle and says:

"Assume a spherical cow . . ."

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I can't stop laughing at this.

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I just wish I was smart enough to get this without having had to google it

[Our House]

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[ QUOTE ]
A dairy company wishing to up milk production and hiring a chemist, an engineer, and a physicist to each come up with plans. After six months a meeting is held where the results of their individual reseraches are to be presented to the company's board of directors.

The chemist presents his results. He has come up with an feed additive that results in both a 6% increase in milk output as well as milk that lasts 8% longer before spoilage.

Next the engineer presents his design modifications of the milking machine, which can milk cows at a 7% higher rate than previous designs, and also reduces teat chaffing, leading to less agitated, and hence more productive cows.

Lastly, the physicist wheels in a large blank chalkboard, upon which he draws a large circle and says:

"Assume a spherical cow . . ."

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I can't stop laughing at this.

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I just wish I was smart enough to google it

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[Fishmonger]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. Barman serves him and the neutron asks how much it is. Barman says "You're a neutron? Then there's no charge".

[gilbert]

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So if y = (r^3)/3, and if you solve the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think that you'll be pleasantly suprised.

y = r^3/3

dy/dr = 3r^2/3 = r^2

dy = r dr r

Or har dee har har

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winnnnnar

[Isura]

A mathematician and his girlfriend are out to dinner. They are arguing about how smart the average person is. The guy gives the average person credit for being pretty smart. But his GF disagrees. So when she goes to the restroom, he asks the waitress to help prove his point. He aranges to ask her what the integral of xdx is. He tells her to answer x^2/2. So when his GF gets back, he carries out his plan when the waitress comes back. He asks, "what's the integral of xdx". She answer "x^2/2". And when walking away, she turns around and says "plus a constant!".

[goofball]

A mathematician and an engineer are placed at one end of a football field. The most beautiful woman in the world is on the other side. They're told that every hour they can each move half way toward the girl. The mathematicial immediately rolls his eyes in disgust and starts to walk away. He notices the enginner is beaming. "You'll never get all the way there you know!" he cries in frustration, to which the engineer responds: "Yes but I can get close enough!"

What is integral (1/cabin) d cabin?
A houseboat

The science major asks: why does it work?
The engineering major asks: how does it work?
The liberal arts major asks: would you like fries with that?


Finally, some limericks:

There was once a girl named Irene
who lived on distilled kerosene
she started absorbin'
a new hydrocarbon
and since there has never benzene.

A proton once said, "I'll fulfill
My long-term belief in free will.
Though theorists (may) say
That I ought to decay
I'm damned if I think that I will."


and the best limerick of all time:

A friend who's in liquor production
owns a still of astounding construction
the alcohol boils
through old magnet coils
she says that it's proof by induction.

[fslexcduck]

[ QUOTE ]
A mathematician and an engineer are placed at one end of a football field. The most beautiful woman in the world is on the other side. They're told that every hour they can each move half way toward the girl. The mathematicial immediately rolls his eyes in disgust and starts to walk away. He notices the enginner is beaming. "You'll never get all the way there you know!" he cries in frustration, to which the engineer responds: "Yes but I can get close enough!"


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this took me two read throughs to get it but it was hilarious when i did

[fslexcduck]

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What is integral (1/cabin) d cabin?
A houseboat


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for those who aren't smart enough to google it:

Person 1: What's the integral of 1/cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin.

Person 1: No, a houseboat - you forgot to add the C!

[fslexcduck]

what did the circle say to the tangent line?

answer: <font color="white">stop touching me!</font>

[LotsOfOuts69]

Your mama's so fat you have to integrate her by parts.