Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[Gorby]

Was the guy in a hat and sunglasses?

[Tarheel]

Some lady from last night after taking down a $4 pot on the turn...

Villainess: I totally outplayed you. Hah
Me: I don't know if you outplayed me really, but ok
Villainess: Yes I did. You're my little biatch

And then 3 minutes later...

Villainess: I own this table. I have since i got here.
Me: Lady, when i sat down an hour ago you had $180, now you only have $100
Villainess: You better shut up. I'm gonna report you a-hole. You're not gonna demean me at the table just because i'm a woman.

[driverseati]

In an underground card club against my idiot friend:

1-2 blinds NL holdem:

I have K-6 on the button, i raise from the button, he calls.

Flop A-J-4, I bet 12, he calls

Turn 5, he checks, i check.

River 5, I bet 35, he calls

I go "king high" and flip up my hand

He goes: "it's good"
Me and everyone else at the table are like "wtf?!?!"

And he proudly proclaims:
"Oh that's alright, I knew you were bluffing."

[gutter]

I was playing at a table one time and a guy min bets into a smallish pot and I call on a nut gutshot. I proceed to catch and win a nice pot. The player proceeds to berate me for getting lucky. He decides he is going to leave and take his last $13 with him.





Player 1: I cant stand playing with idiots who dont know how to play, I am leaving.

Hero: No dont go, please stay here and watch me piss all your money away.

[offTopic]

Random guy: No one talks at this table? You all a bunch of bots?
Me: I'm fine, thanks. How are you?
Random guy: Jeez - about time. What do you think of this site?
Me: I'm fine, thanks. How are you?

-

Funniest thing I literally heard while playing online was two summers ago. It was hot and I had the windows open. I could very clearly hear the next door neighbors were having an adult tupperware party. "So, this here is our most popular vibe..." [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[Gorby]

Wow that was a bruise to his ego.

[crackhead]

[ QUOTE ]
Funniest thing I literally heard while playing online was two summers ago. It was hot and I had the windows open. I could very clearly hear the next door neighbors were having an adult tupperware party. "So, this here is our most popular vibe..." [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

why weren't you invited to this party???? and if you get invited to the next one, we'll expect a full report!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Stormwolf]

Some guy asks in portuguese:how are you X
X: fine
Some guy: my wife is from Sao Paulo(X's city)
X: really, where she lives
Some guy: England
X: damit, I was hoping to get lucky tonight

[luckydaxy]

two players g0 all in pre flop

Board is XXXAQ

player A has QQ player B has AQ


B: u had like 3 percent on the river
B: that's awful what a horrible beat

Me: what about before the flop
B: I had a good solid chance
Me: not really
B: i was like 35 65
Me: exactly
B: with the ace i still had a shot

by this point i stoipped caring

B: that's right be quiet you know im right

[mordecaibrown]

Guy was berating my lil bro's play. Bro is banging back at him.
The guy says something along the lines of "I'll pick up your poker book when it comes out!"
Bro responds by taking his camera phone out. The guys say "What are you doing?"
Bro responds by taking the guys pic and telling him "Congrads you just made to chapter 3!"

Guy looks puzzled.
Bro responds "Title of the chapter is How To Spot the SUCKER."