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#1
10-25-2007, 01:07 PM
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Another traz trip report (long)
OOT has been slow lately, so I figured I'd post the most recent adventures of traz. This one is pretty late, sorry I've been busy. It's long and somewhat bloggish...but includes hot girls, alcohol, celebrity sightings, and a pair of shoes. Possibly tl;dr though, so be forewarned.
On October 5th, I jumped on a bus and headed to Vancouver for the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. We have to be different because we're Canadian...we still eat turkey and cranberry sauce, we just do it in October. WTF eh? Anyhow, I get up at 6am and board the greyhound. The bus is only 2/3 full, so I have 2 seats all to myself, which is a rare treat. However, I quickly realize I have 6 hours of boredom to look forward to...so I whip out my trusty ipod video and watch a few episodes of Batman The Animated Series. Classic imo. We make our first pit stop in a country town called Merrit. I'm not sure if it's known about in America, but it's recognized for holding the Merrit Mountain Music Fest...which is a gong-show and a great place to get laid. It's seriously nuts...but that will have to wait for another TR. You see, during the regular times...Merrit f'ing blows. So with nothing else to do for 10 minutes, I jumped inside the convenience store and grabbed a diet coke...my standard drink. I went through a period in my life where I was super calorie conscious, and since then I only drink diet coke or coke zero. I'm just used to the taste. In any case, I grab my drink and head back to my bus. I sit down in my 2-seat abode. Having grown tired of seeing Batman kick The Joker's ass, I throw on some music. I'm happily listening to Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani when someone taps me on my shoulder. I take off my headphones and look to see what I did wrong...holy jesus it was a hot girl in a miniskirt. hyacahchac, the skirt was really short too. "Why are you drinking diet coke...you're not THAT fat or anything"...Expert pickup line right? Being the smooth operator that I am, I chose the cheesiest reply possible..."you could've thought of a better pickup line than that"....and we were off to the races. Girls have it easy...she could have called me the fattest, ugliest guy in the world and I still would have tried to bang her. In any case, I know you guys are picture-hungry horn devils, but the only one I have is really blurry. Sorry guys...she was hot though. I wouldn't lie.  So she sits down next to me and we start chatting it up. Her name is Patricia, and it turns out she's a psycho...which made me want to bang her all the more. She dropped out of school and moved to a new city with her boyfriend. They had an up and down relationship, filled with violent turmoil. Most recently, he had tried to hit her in a club, which caused her to break up with him and move out. So she was living alone with no money and a terrible job. Not my ideal girl, but who was I to judge? I kept trying to think of a way to get her to join me in the bus bathroom...that never happened, and at the end we exchanged numbers and left it at that. I never called her...I bet she likes it rough though. ----- That night, I'm out for dinner with my family, and on the way home I get a call from another girl. She's really slutty/ugly though, so I wasn't into it. "hey we're having a party and you need to come over" "I think i'm busy! sorry, have fun though" "no you need to come...I baked you a cake" "what?" "it has your name on it, seriously, I baked you a cake!" At that point I figured I had some karmic obligation to go...so I dropped by the cake-lady's house. She did indeed bake me a double-layer chocolate cake with icing, with my name decorated on it. It was sweet, she knew the way to my heart. Unfortunately, the way to my heart is not the way to my penis, and I had no desire to bang this girl. Sucks for her! So I ate a slice of cake, but then realized I couldn't just eat and run. That would be bastardly...so we had a few shots and I suggested we head to the bar (because I didn't want to be trapped at her place!). There is a bar in Richmond call The Buck and Ear, and you don't realize how small the city is until you walk in there. I must've known about 30 people in that place...which was good, because they all bought me drinks. 45 minutes later I was super drunk off tequila...when I saw someone I recognized. Wow wtf? It was Brad Booth. I blinked my eyes a couple times, and to make sure I wasn't just drunk, I grabbed my poker friend Chris to verify. Incidentally, this is the same Chris who banged the preggo a few months prior. But I digress. He agrees that it really really looks like Brad Booth, but we were both unsure. He dares me to go up and talk to him...and we all know when you're alcoholized, you cannot turn down a dare. So in my drunken stupor, I approached Brad Booth. "hey man, do you play poker?" "uhh...yea" "were you the guy who bought in with a cool million on TV? I've seen you on TV haven't I?" "uhh yea I've been on TV before". "oh man that's so cool! High five!" *hesitant high five And then I walked away. I know what you're all thinking...I'm one cool guy right? Clearly he was not as drunk as I was...but in any case, it was definitely Brad Booth. He was with a bunch of ordinary people and some cougarish unattractive women. He needs to step his balla game up. I should've gotten a picture of him...but at the time I felt it was too groupie-esque. High fiving was enough. Hi brad!  ----- The next day, I had planned a date with this girl. She was my ex-girlfriend, but we were still pretty into each other. As I've alluded to in other posts, she's 17, in grade 12, and smoking hot. At the time of asking her to hang out with me, I couldn't think of an activity, so I just threw out whatever came to my head. "I need to buy new shoes". Ugh. So we went on a shopping trip to the mall. I let her drag me around to a bunch of stores, telling me what shoes I should try on. I obviously did not need another pair of shoes...I mean, I already had a pair right? So I kept telling her that her choices sucked. Man I'm good at flirting. Eventually, I needed to buy a pair so I could flash my wad of cash. I went with these:  Rate my kicks? I'm in love with them now, so it all happened for a reason. While I was at the mall I also bought a slick mexx jacket and 2 under-armour shirts. I left the mall about $500 lighter...whoever said the mall was a good cheap date completely lied. Anyways, we went from the mall to my car to the parking lot of her work. She works at safeway. We made out for a bit in the parking lot and then she ran off to work. mmm. Fast forward to now we're officially going out again, but that's neither here nor there. This may be the only pic of her I ever post (unless she cheats on me...and then all the scandalous pics will be posted ldo)  ----- The next day, to wrap it all up, I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Sometimes, you just need to forget about the alcohol, girls, and general debauchery...and just spend some quality time with the relatives. Scratch that, I usually talk to the dog so my mom doesn't ask me about what I'm going to do with my life.  After I had enough family time...I went looking for sexy time. I called the shoe-girl (she wasn't my girlfriend at the time), and she told me she was having thanksgiving dinner but we could hang out later. Ok cool. However, I wasn't one to hang around and wait...I had needs to be fulfilled. So I called the El Salvo girl. She told me that if I wanted I could go hang out with her in Surrey. FYI surrey is a city 60 minutes away and full of gangsta brown people. I declined...not that I have anything against gangsta brown people. ok i lie. I ended up seeing The Kingdom with Jamie Foxx. I really liked it...afterwards I got a call from shoe-girl, and good times were had by all. Well, good times were had by me. Whether or not she felt the same way is largely irrelevant. The next day I hopped on the greyhound, kicked off a Batman The Animated Series episode, and laid back as I cruised home to my small town of Penticton, BC. No hot girls tried to hit on me. Until next time Vancouver! Cheers, traz 
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#6
10-25-2007, 02:03 PM
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Re: Another traz trip report (long)
I enjoyed this trip report.
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#7
10-25-2007, 02:09 PM
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Re: Another traz trip report (long)
[ QUOTE ]
Unfortunately, the way to my heart is not the way to my penis, and I had no desire to bang this girl. Sucks for her! [/ QUOTE ] Had me LOLing. Safeway girl looks like someone I went to high school with.
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#8
10-25-2007, 02:20 PM
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Re: Another traz trip report (long)
Gonna go against the grain and say "did not enjoy". Which is unfortunate because you wrote it as though your TR's were a gift, so maybe I just had too high an expectation. However, more pics of Safeway hizzy.
Oh wait, question. I thought you said you never saw her outside the bus? Where'd you get that picture? Whoever that is does, in fact, look as though they are into rough stough.
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#9
10-25-2007, 02:27 PM
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Re: Another traz trip report (long)
[ QUOTE ]
FYI surrey is a city 60 minutes away and full of gangsta brown people. I declined...not that I have anything against gangsta brown people. ok i lie. [/ QUOTE ] Worth it just for this. Someone from 2p2 lives in surrey.
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#10
10-25-2007, 05:08 PM
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Re: Another traz trip report (long)
[ QUOTE ]
"were you the guy who bought in with a cool million on TV?" [/ QUOTE ] Awesome. I was going to say you should have asked him something about a cool million, only to find out you did.
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