Tell the worst TURNING PRO STORY you have heard.

[kassdog]

It was alright, I still don't see the point.

[BostonMetro]

newhizzle

[threeonefour]

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i really fail to see how this story is hilarious.

to me it looks like some 13 year old kids school paper.

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so true... awful story.

[dumbndumb]

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newhizzle

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Oh, SNAP!

[wpr101]

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You can pretty easily make 5-figures/month if you're not a retard and you've put in the time to learn and build a proper bankroll.

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level?

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2/4 NL?

[mused01]

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You can pretty easily make 5-figures/month if you're not a retard and you've put in the time to learn and build a proper bankroll.

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level?

[/ QUOTE ]

2/4 NL?

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1/2 NL?

[Squareview]

[ QUOTE ]
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You can pretty easily make 5-figures/month if you're not a retard and you've put in the time to learn and build a proper bankroll.

[/ QUOTE ]

level?

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2/4 NL?

[/ QUOTE ]

1/2 NL?

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.5/1 NL?

[Drag007]

i like this thread

[Crazy Porto]

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My spell checker exploded trying to make this post remotely readable, there's 5 mihutes I'll never get back

Pants Optional's edited post:

This is a long one cause its prob my last one till I’m 18 so without further adu...............

Lmao wow today was one very "fun" day and by fun I mean [censored] gay and exhausting. Usually when I go on my long walks I come home happy and enlightened and by usually I mean every time up until today. So let me begin... today I decided to go the Galleria Mall and I only brought about 200$ with me this time cause I wasn’t planning on buying any clothes or DVDs or anything just a ps3 game and some glasses.

So half way there I hear this car coming closer and closer and closer with rap music playing louder than I ever heard before. So I stare at the car coming towards me and all of a sudden to my complete shock I see this 80 year old white male and I'm like wtf and that’s not even the shocking part. The shocking part was he flicked me off. That’s right I mean wtf there isn’t any explanation for what I thought when he did it cause I was just to shocked. So I spend the rest of the way to the mall thinking to myself did that really just happen or am I completely losing my mind?

Anyway I try to focus on other things that I usually think of when I'm walking trough rich Ladue like the spectacular houses, the fresh air, the cool cars and all the tall Green trees and [censored] that is in Ladue. But I can’t that [censored] totally ruined my frame of mind for the entire day. Anyway I get to the mall at about 8.40 Am and it is open but all the stores inside it are closed except this small cafe that served donuts and coffee and [censored]. But I wasn’t hungry so I wandered around the mall up and down left to right several times over and it was empty. So I got some sort of pleasure out of that. I like being in large places by myself for some reason, Anyway I finally decide to go to that cafe and all I ordered was an Italian soda and they gave me the cup...you gotta fill it up yourself so I go to the drink machine thing fill it up put it down cause I get distracted by a incredibly hot women that just walked in then I swing my hand back and knock over the drink and it lands in this old lady’s dress ruining it and she yells and everyone in the place looked at me in silence..

[Censored]!! That was really embarrassing so I just said sorry and promptly left not even asking for a refill I just left. Then I get to the game store and pick out the game I want to get already [censored] pissed then the guy tells me you have an id. Then I’m like excuse me what? he’s like ya this is a mature label or w/e 17+ you gotta have a id then I said do I look like I’m under 17 and he’s like ya as a matter of fact you do and I was kinda thrown off by the reply cause it wasn’t quite what I expected so I didn’t want to make a scene or anything so I just said w/e and left. I was so dam furious I didn’t know where to go next so I decided to go down a level to the food court and get myself something.

Then as I make my way down the escalator my shoe lace got stuck somehow and when I get to the bottom this thing is sucking my foot down so I was forced to remove one shoe and cut the lace off with a knife. Doesn’t seem like a big deal sure but I was so angry up until that it made it a big deal. So then I put my shoe back on and kick the wall as hard as I can breaking a toe nail and falling to the ground in excruciating pain. Meanwhile everyone is looking at me like I’m a psycho. Anyway 10 minutes later I put my shoe back on and calm down and see this sunglass stand. I walk over and start browsing and the French dude that is running it keeps talking to me asking questions every second and I kept telling him I’m fine I can decide myself yet he kept on talking and every time I picked a pair up to try them on he’s like do you want to buy those. And I’m trying to keep my cool cause he’s [censored] annoying and his special gay accent was equally as annoying.

Finally I decided on this cool pair with fake diamonds on the side. and I go to pay for them and he gives me this look and asks are these for you and I said uhh ya and he replied kid these are women’s glasses ...let me help you pick out a different pair. And I said I don’t want a different pair and I don’t care if they are women’s glasses they are really cool and nobody will notice and he’s like..ohhhh they will notice trust me. And after he said that I lost it and said Jesus [censored] Christ will you just let me pay for these already and stop talking and he quickly closed his mind in shock almost lol and I paid and left....I kinda felt bad for yelling at the small French businessman like that but w/e is happened and I don’t regret anything I do cause there is usually a reason for doing it.

After eating down in the food court I decided I had enough of the mall and decided to go home. On my way home I saw this huge...umm what’s the word for it monastery I think? idk but it was this place where nuns and monks and [censored] live and it had a huge chapel and stuff so I decided to see for myself what's going on here and on my way to the main grounds this nun stopped me and said can I help you young man and for some retarded reason I decided to lie and say uhh ya my mom works here I’m supposed to meet her. And she said oh ok what building and I said uhh the central one and she gave me this look and said can you be more specific and then I said. Well ya she told me it was the one in the center of the whole grounds and she laughed and read me like a book and said your mother doesn’t work here does she and I gave up and I’m like no...No she doesn’t then the nun is like then let me ask again why are you here? And I replied idk just to look around I guess so she said well come in and sit down I will be right back.

So I’m like ok and thinking to myself [censored] that was embarrassing getting caught in a lie like that. And then all of a sudden she comes back with this monk/priest dude who is by far the most psychopathic nut I've ever met in my life. He looked like Kenny Rogers and had a smile on his face 100 percent of the time and he was a hippy in a way to. And he said I heard you lied to Sister Claudia about why you have come here, lieing is a sin in all its forms and I suggest you make a confession right now and I’m like!!! What?

He responded by telling me how he sees how I am controlled by demons and how my soul is crying out for attention and that I need to start off my making this "life changing confession". all of this within 1 minute of meeting me...anyway I don’t want to go into to much detail but within 10 minutes of talking to this guy I realized he was plain nuts and even psychopathic and I wondered how he was allowed to become a priest in the first place ...I’ve come across some crazy priests in my time but this guy took the cake by far.

Anyway soon after that conversation I left and went home. That was my day basically. Now I’m sore and tired and about to go to sleep. But ya going to the mall is the [censored] I love it id live there if they let me. But today wasn’t so great to say the least. if I wasn’t so unlucky I’d be playing poker all day instead of going on these walks cause that’s all I have to do all day now that I’m broke....sure I could deposit more at anytime but there is no point for I am not a luckbox like a lot of others and will just lose it again. I’m too much of a emotional player to play online I care about winning and losing to much...the people that can control their anger online are more crazy then me for not controlling it because you obviously don’t have any emotions while playing making u a [censored] online zombie....I cant wait to hit 18 so I can continue to play poker again and prove my worth so until then bye

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] hilarious. everybody should read this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok and below what level is your IQ when you actually believe this?

[DeuceSeven]

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My spell checker exploded trying to make this post remotely readable, there's 5 mihutes I'll never get back

Pants Optional's edited post:

This is a long one cause its prob my last one till I’m 18 so without further adu...............

Lmao wow today was one very "fun" day and by fun I mean [censored] gay and exhausting. Usually when I go on my long walks I come home happy and enlightened and by usually I mean every time up until today. So let me begin... today I decided to go the Galleria Mall and I only brought about 200$ with me this time cause I wasn’t planning on buying any clothes or DVDs or anything just a ps3 game and some glasses.

So half way there I hear this car coming closer and closer and closer with rap music playing louder than I ever heard before. So I stare at the car coming towards me and all of a sudden to my complete shock I see this 80 year old white male and I'm like wtf and that’s not even the shocking part. The shocking part was he flicked me off. That’s right I mean wtf there isn’t any explanation for what I thought when he did it cause I was just to shocked. So I spend the rest of the way to the mall thinking to myself did that really just happen or am I completely losing my mind?

Anyway I try to focus on other things that I usually think of when I'm walking trough rich Ladue like the spectacular houses, the fresh air, the cool cars and all the tall Green trees and [censored] that is in Ladue. But I can’t that [censored] totally ruined my frame of mind for the entire day. Anyway I get to the mall at about 8.40 Am and it is open but all the stores inside it are closed except this small cafe that served donuts and coffee and [censored]. But I wasn’t hungry so I wandered around the mall up and down left to right several times over and it was empty. So I got some sort of pleasure out of that. I like being in large places by myself for some reason, Anyway I finally decide to go to that cafe and all I ordered was an Italian soda and they gave me the cup...you gotta fill it up yourself so I go to the drink machine thing fill it up put it down cause I get distracted by a incredibly hot women that just walked in then I swing my hand back and knock over the drink and it lands in this old lady’s dress ruining it and she yells and everyone in the place looked at me in silence..

[Censored]!! That was really embarrassing so I just said sorry and promptly left not even asking for a refill I just left. Then I get to the game store and pick out the game I want to get already [censored] pissed then the guy tells me you have an id. Then I’m like excuse me what? he’s like ya this is a mature label or w/e 17+ you gotta have a id then I said do I look like I’m under 17 and he’s like ya as a matter of fact you do and I was kinda thrown off by the reply cause it wasn’t quite what I expected so I didn’t want to make a scene or anything so I just said w/e and left. I was so dam furious I didn’t know where to go next so I decided to go down a level to the food court and get myself something.

Then as I make my way down the escalator my shoe lace got stuck somehow and when I get to the bottom this thing is sucking my foot down so I was forced to remove one shoe and cut the lace off with a knife. Doesn’t seem like a big deal sure but I was so angry up until that it made it a big deal. So then I put my shoe back on and kick the wall as hard as I can breaking a toe nail and falling to the ground in excruciating pain. Meanwhile everyone is looking at me like I’m a psycho. Anyway 10 minutes later I put my shoe back on and calm down and see this sunglass stand. I walk over and start browsing and the French dude that is running it keeps talking to me asking questions every second and I kept telling him I’m fine I can decide myself yet he kept on talking and every time I picked a pair up to try them on he’s like do you want to buy those. And I’m trying to keep my cool cause he’s [censored] annoying and his special gay accent was equally as annoying.

Finally I decided on this cool pair with fake diamonds on the side. and I go to pay for them and he gives me this look and asks are these for you and I said uhh ya and he replied kid these are women’s glasses ...let me help you pick out a different pair. And I said I don’t want a different pair and I don’t care if they are women’s glasses they are really cool and nobody will notice and he’s like..ohhhh they will notice trust me. And after he said that I lost it and said Jesus [censored] Christ will you just let me pay for these already and stop talking and he quickly closed his mind in shock almost lol and I paid and left....I kinda felt bad for yelling at the small French businessman like that but w/e is happened and I don’t regret anything I do cause there is usually a reason for doing it.

After eating down in the food court I decided I had enough of the mall and decided to go home. On my way home I saw this huge...umm what’s the word for it monastery I think? idk but it was this place where nuns and monks and [censored] live and it had a huge chapel and stuff so I decided to see for myself what's going on here and on my way to the main grounds this nun stopped me and said can I help you young man and for some retarded reason I decided to lie and say uhh ya my mom works here I’m supposed to meet her. And she said oh ok what building and I said uhh the central one and she gave me this look and said can you be more specific and then I said. Well ya she told me it was the one in the center of the whole grounds and she laughed and read me like a book and said your mother doesn’t work here does she and I gave up and I’m like no...No she doesn’t then the nun is like then let me ask again why are you here? And I replied idk just to look around I guess so she said well come in and sit down I will be right back.

So I’m like ok and thinking to myself [censored] that was embarrassing getting caught in a lie like that. And then all of a sudden she comes back with this monk/priest dude who is by far the most psychopathic nut I've ever met in my life. He looked like Kenny Rogers and had a smile on his face 100 percent of the time and he was a hippy in a way to. And he said I heard you lied to Sister Claudia about why you have come here, lieing is a sin in all its forms and I suggest you make a confession right now and I’m like!!! What?

He responded by telling me how he sees how I am controlled by demons and how my soul is crying out for attention and that I need to start off my making this "life changing confession". all of this within 1 minute of meeting me...anyway I don’t want to go into to much detail but within 10 minutes of talking to this guy I realized he was plain nuts and even psychopathic and I wondered how he was allowed to become a priest in the first place ...I’ve come across some crazy priests in my time but this guy took the cake by far.

Anyway soon after that conversation I left and went home. That was my day basically. Now I’m sore and tired and about to go to sleep. But ya going to the mall is the [censored] I love it id live there if they let me. But today wasn’t so great to say the least. if I wasn’t so unlucky I’d be playing poker all day instead of going on these walks cause that’s all I have to do all day now that I’m broke....sure I could deposit more at anytime but there is no point for I am not a luckbox like a lot of others and will just lose it again. I’m too much of a emotional player to play online I care about winning and losing to much...the people that can control their anger online are more crazy then me for not controlling it because you obviously don’t have any emotions while playing making u a [censored] online zombie....I cant wait to hit 18 so I can continue to play poker again and prove my worth so until then bye

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] hilarious. everybody should read this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok and below what level is your IQ when you actually believe this?

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, that was mean of me, I shouldn't have said it was funny. No one should ever have to read even a paragraph of that [censored]. I only made it 2 paragraphs in before I wanted to gouge my eyes out.